Both On Board

Have you hit a realization that you and your spouse may be growing apart? Do you feel a lack of connectedness and closeness? We saw this come into play in our relationship when life circumstances drastically changed and we had our daughter. Christy needed to focus on being a mom, and I began to focus on our business. But soon our separate paths led to our individual needs not being met and we felt stalled in our relationship. On today's episode, we talk about some of our struggles, how we realized what was happening, what we did to change—and how you can too.

Highlights From Our Conversation

• [0:50] You are either growing together or growing apart
• [6:00] The grass will be green where you take care of it
• [10:45] Growth always comes in seasons
• [13:30] Utilize your network of mentors or people "who have been there"
• [18:00] Take small consistent steps towards change
• [23:35] Allow yourself personal growth in order to give to others
• [25:30] How to get back on track & resources we've found helpful

You're either growing together or you're growing apart

We found ourselves in a place where we had taken on needed roles, but let it go too far. Christy's role as a mother overcame every part of her life. She couldn't go anywhere or do anything without always thinking about our daughter. I was enveloped in work, and it seemed to follow me everywhere. We hit the realization that we were not happy. Instead of being close, we found ourselves drifting apart. We quickly decided that we were all in this marriage and that it was time to make some changes. Listen to this episode as we cover some of the huge steps we took to turn our marriage around.

The grass will be greener where you take care of it

So many people think that if they just get out of an unhappy and unfulfilling relationship, everything will be solved. That isn't how it works. You have 100% of the responsibility for yourself in your relationship. If you aren't happy, odds are that a lot of it is stemming from your own lack of personal growth. Another issue that is commonly brought up is that your wants and needs aren't being met.

So what do you do if you don't want to give up on your relationship?

Clarify your wants and your needs with each other. Acknowledge where you are. Then, find a way to prioritize each other. It's really important not to place blame on each other, so take responsibility. Start with clarification and communication about your issues and while being completely honest. Listen on as we talk about what we did to nurture our relationship and how it impacted every part of our lives.

Seek wisdom and advice from those who have walked in your shoes

You aren't the only ones who have ever been stalled in your relationship. Many couples have been there and many didn't make it through—and got divorced. You've already established you want to stay committed. You're taking steps to work on your relationship. So what else can you add to your arsenal of tools?

Reach out and seek mentorship from someone who you trust and can help you through the hard times. Utilize your network of close friends or seek out a marriage counselor. A huge thing I did was join a mastermind group. Whatever you decide to do as you work on your marriage, make sure you're also committing to your personal development. Keep listening as we share more strategies we implemented.

Take small and consistent steps in the direction of change

We found that we let ourselves get lost in our daughter and in our business. We forgot to keep taking care of ourselves, and subsequently caring for each other. So focus on fixing and developing you. Read books, exercise, seek out mentors, change your peer group. Take small steps and be consistent. Fill your cup so that you can begin to fill others.

Then let those changes spill over into your relationship. Find ways to spend time together. If you do things separately, come together and share what you've learned. Go to seminars and learn together—we've found this to be helpful in our growth together. Remember, you have the freedom to leave your relationship and only you have the freedom and the power to change it and grow closer. Listen to the rest of the episode as we talk about more steps to get back on track and some helpful resources.

Resources & People Mentioned

• Find a Mastermind Group
• Tony Robbins on Peer Elevation
• Wheel of Life Resource

Connect With Ramon and Christy

• www.BothOnBoard.com
• Both On Board on Instagram: @BothOnBoard
• Ray's Instagram - @OfficialRamonGonzalez
• Christy's Instagram - @ChristyRisco
• Facebook - Ramon Gonzalez
• Facebook - Christy Risco

Whether you realize it or not—your health and personal fitness have a major impact on your well-being and your relationship. Are you struggling with exhaustion, headaches, and an inability to focus? Has your weight crept up over the last few months or years? Are nutrition and exercise even part of your daily life? Listen to this episode of Both on Board as we talk about the importance of health and fitness and how it impacts every area of your life.

Highlights From Our Conversation

• [1:05] The importance of health and fitness
• [4:25] Navigating different goals and interests
• [6:46] Communicate and really hear what your spouse is saying--they aren't judging
• [9:10] The importance of self-care
• [11:15] Celebrate and acknowledge the small wins
• [13:30] It's about a lifestyle change, not a diet
• [15:36] your partners' delays are not denials
• [18:58]Communication plays a huge role
• [20:50] every outcome is determined by the energy it's created from
• [23:20] health and fitness allows you to live life to the fullest
• [25:00] Change comes in seasons

The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your health

We are firm believers that if you don't have your health, you don't have anything. Take a moment and be really honest with yourself. Do you feel good about where your health is today? Are there changes you could make that would positively impact your daily life? Ray has always been obsessed with fitness, and focusing on it has never been an issue for him. For me, it is truly a love-hate relationship. I had to lean on my life vision and goals for myself as motivation. My desire is to be toned, and Ray wants to strive to be an elite athlete. Continue listening as we talk about the importance of supporting each other when we have different goals and the impact of that support.

Celebrate the small wins you're making towards your personal fitness goals

If you've established that you're at a point where a shift towards a healthier lifestyle is needed, take baby steps. You can't make immediate changes in your life and expect them to stick—they need to become habits. In order for something to become a habit, you need to make slow changes and be consistent every single day. So what do you do when you reach those small goals you create for yourself? Celebrate! The goal is to build something sustainable that can impact your life from here on out. Listen to the episode as we continue to discuss how to implement change and what we have personally done to build a healthier lifestyle.

Emphasize accountability: tell the truth in love with compassion

We all know how emotional this topic is, and sometimes we have internal struggles that we are working to overcome. But it is SO important to build trust with yourself and learn to keep the promises you've made to yourself. If you see your spouse struggling, ask them why. Remind them why their commitment is important. Do it from a place of love and not judgment.

Be prepared for your spouse to help keep you accountable too.

This is a two-way street. You need to own your mistakes and part of that is being able to fully listen when your spouse has feedback. Even if you don't want to hear it, know that they care about your goals enough to risk how you feel about them in that moment. Continue listening as we emphasize the importance of communication and accountability.

Take Charge of your personal fitness and live life to the fullest

It boils down to this—are you able to be fully present and enjoy every part of your life? Is poor health impacting your joy and fulfillment? It's time to step up, take charge, and lead your family by example. Set your own terms for what you want your health to be! Remember, you are designing your life and your future. If one person steps up and makes changes, it is so much easier for your spouse to follow suit and also commit to a healthier lifestyle. You need to prioritize your health. Listen to the rest of the episode as we talk about our priorities, and how they have changed in different seasons of our life.

Resources & People Mentioned

• 75HARD: A 75 Day Tactical Guide by Andy Frisella
• MFCEO Podcast by Andy Frisella

Connect With Ramon and Christy

• www.BothOnBoard.com
• Both On Board on Instagram: @BothOnBoard
• Ray's Instagram - @OfficialRamonGonzalez
• Christy's Instagram - @ChristyRisco
• Facebook - Ramon Gonzalez
• Facebook - Christy Risco

Your money mindset is likely ingrained in you from childhood into adulthood. Whether it is positive or negative, we all have some sort of perception of money that bleeds into our marriage and business. In this episode of Both on Board we cover what our money mindsets were, how we've worked through them as a couple and removing the emotion from financial decision making.

Highlights From Our Conversation

• [0:50] 50% of marriages end in divorce over money issues
• [7:53] Money doesn't change you—it just exposes you to who you already are
• [10:18] Sit down and look at what is really important
• [12:24] One thing we do differently: delay gratification
• [16:00] Money from a spiritual standpoint
• [19:55] Money is an emotional subject but does not solve your problems
• [23:47] The more money you have the more you can give
• [26:28] How we track our money/finances
• [29:10] What is coming up for you around money?
• [34:53] Take ownership of your spending and be accountable

50% of marriages end in divorce—and the statistics are even higher among entrepreneurs

Some could say that instead of money being "the root of all evil" it is "the root of all divorce". Too often, couples enter a marriage having completely different mindsets about money and what it means to them. Ray and I had very different relationships with money—I lived paycheck to paycheck and thought I was doing fine just getting by. Ray was a saver, hoarding every bit of money he earned and constantly pushing me to do the same. He viewed money as something that was scarce and that you always needed more of. I enjoyed my spending and never thought it was a problem. Listen on as we talk about discovering our different mindsets, and how that led us to have a better marriage and business relationship.

Money doesn't change you, it just exposes you to who you already are

So many people associate money with problems in their family—arguments over never having enough, how it's being spent, and lack of saving. Too often those arguments stay negative, and the conversation is never constructive. When your view of money is colored by negativity, sometimes you err on the side of just earning enough to provide for your family and label it as good enough. What people don't realize is that you don't have to put money on a pedestal. Having money doesn't change who you are. It can enable you to better care for your family and enable you to give more freely. Listen to this episode as we talk about having a more positive relationship with money and focusing on what it does for you.

Make your money mindset work for you

Obviously, there are some very practical things you can do on a daily basis to be better stewards of your money. You need to cut some senseless spending from your life in order to focus on saving for what you want to experience. Are you spending $5 on coffee every day when you could make it at home? Are you mindlessly shopping at your favorite stores and buying things because they're a "good deal"? Sit down with each other, and commit to having a conversation about finances without drama. Don't allow yourself to get emotional, don't point fingers, and do ask the hard questions. Keep listening as we talk about how we track our money, where we are open with it, and how we keep each other accountable.

Price is what you pay value is what you get

We recommend focusing your time and energy on what you have in abundance and not what you're lacking. You work hard, take action, and know that things will fall into place as you're faithful with what you have. It all boils down to this point: what is the value I'm getting from what I'm spending my money on? Is it enriching my life and my families? Are we traveling, experiencing the world, and being exposed to people with similar mindsets? Value should not be attributed to how much you spent on something, but whether or not it enriched your life in a positive manner.

While we all highly value financial freedom and not being in want, eventually "making money" can no longer be your end goal. What do you do when you're successful, making a decent living, and you can pay for the experiences you want in life? Listen to the remainder of the podcast as we round out ways to shift your money mindset and begin to discuss it constructively—and then taking the next step.

Resources & People Mentioned

• Secrets of the Millionare Mind by T. Harv Ecker
• Money and the Law of Attraction by Esther Hicks and Jerry Hicks
• Tony Robbins

Connect With Ramon and Christy

• www.BothOnBoard.com
• Both On Board on Instagram: @BothOnBoard
• Ray's Instagram - @OfficialRamonGonzalez
• Christy's Instagram - @ChristyRisco
• Facebook - Ramon Gonzalez
• Facebook - Christy Risco

Commitment and consistency as entrepreneurs are some of the most powerful tools you can utilize as you work together. You need to build a clear vision for your future, develop self-awareness and establish roles in your business. Then, you invest your time and be consistent in pouring into your vision. In this episode of Both on Board we talk about moving beyond instant gratification and fully committing your time and energy to your business.

Highlights From Our Conversation

• [0:55] The power of commitment and being intentional
• [8:55] Support and understand each other
• [12:50] Invest time now to obtain the freedom you desire later
• [17:35] You invest to reach your vision
• [21:20] Life happens in seasons
• [24:40] How we figured out our gameplan
• [28:35] continue to develop your personal development
• [31:00] The power of consistency

Be fully committed to the life you are designing

When Christy and I first decided to dive into this business together, she quit her teaching job. She didn't take a leave of absence and didn't have a backup plan—she believed in what we were doing enough to fully commit. There's no plan B as an entrepreneur! If you don't believe in your vision enough to fully commit to it, it's not worth pursuing. Listen to this episode as we discuss our life lessons and the ways we fully committed ourselves to be entrepreneurs.

Clarity and commitment work hand-in-hand as you invest to reach your vision

We've talked about "The Perfect Day" exercise and having a clear picture of what you want for your future. So now you have to think about what it's going to take to build your life and business to that point. What do you need to commit to daily, weekly, monthly to reach your goals? What does this truly look like on a daily basis?

Now is the time to come together and focus on the commitments you've made to each other personally and in your business. Set your vision and your mindset: work hard now, and delay gratification so you can have financial security and freedom down the road. Listen on as we talk about what this looks like in our lives.

Invest your time for a season to build a future with the freedom you desire

When you first dive-in to building a life and a business together, it requires all of your time and energy. In the "spring" season of our business, we were very strategic in planting seeds. We invested so much of our lives to building this business together, taking one step at a time. Don't allow yourself to be stuck in "analysis paralysis"—keep making strides forward, and little-by-little you will experience growth. Continue listening as we talk about the seasons we've gone through in our life so far and how we saw the fruits of our labor unfold.

Developing Commitment and Consistency in your business through personal self-discipline

We believe that if you are not consistent with self-discipline you cannot be consistent in your relationship or your business. It's SO important to continue investing in your personal development. You need to find ways to focus yourself and show up at the highest level you can—every single day. In the rest of the episode, we cover the power of consistency and resources we've found instrumental to our personal success in this area.

Resources & People Mentioned

• The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
• Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
• Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod

Connect With Ramon and Christy

• www.BothOnBoard.com
• Both On Board on Instagram: @BothOnBoard
• Ray's Instagram - @OfficialRamonGonzalez
• Christy's Instagram - @ChristyRisco
• Facebook - Ramon Gonzalez
• Facebook - Christy Risco

On our journey to help you design a life and a business together it's important to focus on developing clear and consistent communication. We believe clear communication leads to a more efficient and rewarding collaboration. In this episode of Both on Board we cover some of our favorite tools for learning self-awareness and how it will strengthen your relationship.

Highlights From Our Conversation

• [0:55] Move from clarity to collaboration starting with Communication
• [4:35] Recognize your own gifts, don't envy your spouses
• [6:00] Overcome the fears you have about working together
• [7:55] Self-awareness tests to use
• [11:25] The "Roles and the Lanes"
• [16:30] What it really means to collaborate
• [21:20] Develop curiosity about each other
• [24:50] learn your triggers and how to overcome them

Develop an awareness of the filters you use to see each other

When you enter into a relationship with another person, you bring with you a lifetime of different "filters". You see the world a certain way based on the environment you grew up in and different influences along the way. If we aren't careful, we can find ourselves using these lenses in a destructive way. We can look at each other's strengths but see them as weaknesses because they don't align with who we are. Listen to this episode as we discuss how we saw each other in the early days of our relationship and how to combat those negative filters.

Use self-awareness tests as a building block to clear communication

Do you know what your strength and weaknesses are? Do you struggle with a clear sense of who you are? If you don't have a deeper understanding of yourself and how you see the world, it can truly be difficult to communicate well. We advocate for using the different tests available to you because they genuinely helped us in our relationship and business. They focus you and give you a CLEAR picture of how to move forward in your life. Listen as we discuss how these tests have personally impacted us and moved our relationship to the next level.

Why you should embrace the "Stay in your Lane" mentality

Once you take some of these tests and have a clearer picture of your strengths and weaknesses, come together and pour over your results. As you gain a better understanding of each other, you can develop and designate different roles in your personal lives AND your business relationship. Once you have your designated "lanes" in place a true collaboration begins to form. If you are better equipped in one area, own your role and allow your significant other to own there's.

Start finding ways to stop stepping on each other's toes!

If you honor each lane you've set 100% you begin to build trust in each other. The goal is to produce a collaboration where you each have defined roles that you're passionate about. Listen on as we discuss what some of our roles are and how it's only bought us closer together.

Utilize these assessments to foster a continued curiosity about each other

Relationships should never be static and unchanging. As you grow together, you need to learn more about each other. These tests are a great baseline for starting conversations. Why do you believe what you believe? How do your filters differ from each other? What things from your childhood influence the way you see the world?

We've stated before that your spouse is your best personal development coach—so own that role. Laugh with each other, compliment each other, be compassionate, and never stop striving to be their greatest fan. The more you understand about yourself, the more you can learn to understand each other and build the epic life you've dreamt of together. In the remainder of this episode, we talk about what this has looked like for us and some more great resources to build clear communication in your relationship.

Resources & People Mentioned

• The Kolbe Test
• DiSC Personal Assessment Tool
• The Strengthsfinder 2.0 Assessment
• Wealth Dynamics Test
• The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz
• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Connect With Ramon and Christy

• www.BothOnBoard.com
• Both On Board on Instagram: @BothOnBoard
• Ray's Instagram - @OfficialRamonGonzalez
• Christy's Instagram - @ChristyRisco
• Facebook - Ramon Gonzalez
• Facebook - Christy Risco

What would it be like if you were able to have your ultimate personal development coach available all the time? Think of it - Tony Robbins, Robin Sharma, Brene Brown - what if they were with you 24/7 to help you work out the kinks in your business and sand down your rough edges? Would you like that? How far would you be able to grow and go if that were true?

We are here to tell you that there's no question that all of those people are great - but if you are one half of an entrepreneurial couple, you already have a personal development coach who is better than any of those people. It's your partner.

We are Ray and Christy and we have been working together in business since 2011. We've run 3 businesses together and have decided to create our podcast - Both On Board - because of the sheer joy we've found in working together. We hope you'll join us to hear our lessons learned, how we create a thriving life as an entrepreneurial couple, and more.

Highlights From Our Conversation

• [0:47] The reasons behind our new podcast: the way people react to us working together
• [2:52] Christy's story: from teaching 4th grade to co-founding 3 businesses
• [5:48] Looking at your partner as the ultimate personal development coach/tool
• [8:40] Our 3 C framework: Clarity - Collaboration - Commitment
• [14:31] The importance of quality questions
• [17:30] The quality questions section will be part of every episode

Your partner really IS your ultimate personal development coach and tool

It's true - your partner has the potential to be your ultimate personal development tool. Why? Because they know you better than anyone else. They are able to see your strengths and encourage you in them - and they notice your areas of weakness and encourage you in those as well.

They are also able to provide a level of accountability like nobody else when it comes to your business pursuits. So let them. You'll be at the top of your game more often if you work together to keep each other on track.

As you move forward together, you'll find yourself moving forward faster - but only IF you learn how to work together in a healthy and productive way. On this podcast, we'll be sharing the tools, techniques, and tips we've learned to take your life, business, and relationship to the next level.

Our 3 C framework helps us stay on track as a business couple

Working together we've found great joy - but it's not without its challenges. There are many areas where we experience the potential for conflict, disagreement, and even stepping on each others' toes. How do we avoid those things? Not perfectly, that's for sure - but we have developed what we call our "3 C Framework." It's a way for us to focus on the three areas that help us stay aligned with each other…

• Clarity
• Collaboration
• Commitment

In this episode, we introduce you to the basic concept behind each of these "C"s and give you a taste of how we'll use those concepts in the episodes to come. Take the time to listen now!

Why couples can be the best accountability and encouragement for each other

Of all the people in the world, we know that WE are each others' greatest fan. That's a benefit that we want to take advantage of. Nobody will care as we do. Nobody else will be willing to speak the encouragement we need when we need it or the hard truth we need to hear as each of us will for the other. Of course, we have to express compassion and care as we do, and we're happy to do that for each other, but we care too much about each other to let things stay as they are. We want to grow and we want growth for each other.

That's why couples are the best accountability and encouragement for each other. When you apply that truth to business, you're looking at an unbeatable team. We are each other's' best personal development coach and fan - all rolled into one.

We invite you to listen to this episode. You'll hear our hearts for business, our hearts for each other, and our desire to help you make the most of your business and relational partnership. And you'll get a taste of all the good things to come.

Resources & People Mentioned

• Tony Robbins

Connect With Ramon and Christy

• www.BothOnBoard.com
• Both On Board on Instagram: @BothOnBoard
• Ray's Instagram - @OfficialRamonGonzalez
• Christy;s Instagram - @ChristyRisco
• Facebook - Ramon Gonzalez
• Facebook - Christy Risco

Do you have a clear and detailed life vision for your future? Or are you stuck operating within the familiarity of the past, doing things as you've always done? Does your dream for your future align with your significant others? We are Ray and Christy and today we talk about "The Perfect Day" Exercise and how to leverage it to work for your life and family.

Highlights From Our Conversation

• [0:45] How "The Perfect Day" exercise impacted us and why you should do it.
• [4:25] The story of the two thoroughbred horses
• [7:10] "The Perfect Day" exercise basics
• [10:20] Focus on the WHAT and the WHY
• [12:00] Make a vision board (movie, powerpoint, some type of visual)
• [15:00] Examining the "Two E"s of what you want for yourself and your family
• [18:50] Give yourself a taste of the life you want

The basics of "the perfect day" exercise

"The Perfect Day" exercise is a simple tool that we love and we believe can truly work for you. Grab a piece of paper or your laptop and write out what your perfect day would look like—from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep—and everything in-between. Don't be practical. Don't be rational. Spill out your dreams on paper. This is when you need to be detailed and specific. Listen to the podcast as we talk about questions to ask yourself to help you clearly visualize what your life vision is.

Think BIG and dream BIG with your life vision—everything else will fall into place

As you're writing out your vision of a perfect day, focus on the WHAT and the WHY. Dream about what you want and nail down the why behind it. Allow yourself to think and dream BIG—there are no limits. You're going to live your life on your own terms. Build something you will be proud of and allow you to live every day to the fullest.

Not only is it important to nail down your perfect day, but it's also important to share that with your partner. You may have different dreams and goals for your life, but you'll find some overlap that you can use to build your future together. Continue listening to this episode to find out how we track our individual and shared visions and how we have watched some of our dreams come true.

The two E's: What experiences and exposure do you want for your family?

As you're building your perfect day into your perfect life, think about the magic moments that you want to experience. You can plan on purchasing your dream car or the house you've always desired. But also focus on the two E's:

Exposure: What do you want your family exposed to? Where do you want them to live and experience daily life? Do you want to spend your days on the beach as we do?

Experiences: Dream about where you want to travel and what you want to see. Think about not only where you want to go, but how you want to experience it.

Listen to this episode as we cover some things we've experienced, and how we decided where to live based on what we wanted our family to be exposed to.

Let your life vision drive your future

In the beginning, we went over our perfect day with each other every morning and every evening. We did this until it was ingrained in us. As our dreams and goals became a part of our daily existence, the how and when began to fall into place. The vision we built together is becoming the life we live together. In the remainder of the episode, we talk about practical ways you can get a taste of your perfect day as you begin to live the life you've designed.

Resources & People Mentioned

• Tony Robbins: Magic Moments
• "Your Perfect Day" Exercise
• Book: Lifeonaire: An Uncommon Approach to Wealth, Success, and Prosperity
• Book: Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
• The 7 Game Changers for Highly Effective Couples

Connect With Ramon and Christy

• www.BothOnBoard.com
• Both On Board on Instagram: @BothOnBoard
• Ray's Instagram - @OfficialRamonGonzalez
• Christy's Instagram - @ChristyRisco
• Facebook - Ramon Gonzalez
• Facebook - Christy Risco

Find out more at www.BothOnBoard.com