Bottled Up: Help for families of alcoholics and those struggling with alcoholism

In this episode in our new series "What I Wish I Had Known", Lou and John reflect on being married to a problem drinker and the painful dance which often takes place between the spouse and their partner as they try to navigate addiction. Lou shares how appealing to her husband’s love often furthered his guilt deepening his shame and triggered further bingeing. John explains that addiction is less a binary choice between alcohol and a partner, and more about escaping emotional pain. They explore affirming the sober identity while hating the drink. Themes include boundaries, hope, shame, affirmation, identity, and routes to recovery.

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Lou talks with John and reflects on what she wishes she’d known at the start of her relationship with her drinker. Lou and John discuss how early signs of problem drinking can be overlooked when falling in love. They explain the importance of addressing problem drinking as soon as possible, and the early love you feel gives you rare leverage to set boundaries. This episode encourages listeners to recognise warning signs early and protect themselves from long-term emotional harm.

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode John and Lou answer your questions. They look at the question of not covering up for your drinker, retaining dignity and not making excuses. They also explore accepting somebody’s alcoholism whilst not condoning it, influencing your drinker in a positive way, and problem drinkers taking responsibility for their actions and behaviour.

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You may know that John was an alcoholic for many years. It has had a profound effect on his life. Now sober for more than 40 years John has written his autobiography "No Cloistered Life". It's a remarkable story, funny, moving, insightful and hugely inspiring, going from "drunk to a doctor" in a decade.

No Cloistered Life is a memoir charting a course through addiction, recovery, and a search for meaning, against a backdrop of an aborted foray into priesthood, hippiedom, failed marriages, and a return to academia, a new found faith, and marriage.

You can buy John's story here": https://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Cloistered-Life-John-McMahon/dp/1897913990/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1HOO61MWAQJNQ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.m_PDTPlItSR70ndooUbxJ1svpkHbcmA0xnTbbsMTEks.EAAB3SpSH4Q9Co1micaOy2Hlzh9xeYfPtf7agL5m4oE&dib_tag=se&keywords=no+cloistered+life&qid=1769092410&sprefix=no+cloistered+life%2Caps%2C100&sr=8-1

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Relapse is common. Whether you’re the family or friends of a problem drinker, or a person with an alcohol addiction, setbacks can be difficult to cope with. In this episode Lou and John talk about relapse, how to cope with them, how to look for the positives, and how you can learn from the setbacks, and progress is what you are looking for – not perfection.

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

Whether you're a person struggling with an alcoholic in your life, or a person struggling with alcohol, Bottled Up can help. For more advice, guidance, and 1 to 1 counselling and information on the services Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode John and Lou look at recovery from the point of view of the drinker. It's an important listen for drinkers and family and friends. They consider the difficulties, the treatment and help available, the importance of maintaining recovery and keeping going when times are tough or when there is a relapse.

Start by stopping. That's what drinkers need to do to commence their recovery. It sounds simple in practice, but it is difficult. There may be many fault starts and difficulties along the way, but recovery from problem drinking is of course possible and thousands of people achieve this every year.

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

Whether you're a person struggling with an alcoholic in your life, or a person struggling with alcohol, Bottled Up can help. For more advice, guidance, and 1 to 1 counselling and information on the services Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Christmas with a problem drinker can be extremely difficult for a whole manner of different reasons. Whether you are experiencing your first Christmas with somebody who you think might have a problem with alcohol, or this is your umpteenth Christmas with a drinker, in this episode Lou and John guide you through ways to help with the Christmas fallout and how you can improve your life in the year ahead.

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

Whether you're a person struggling with an alcoholic in your life, or a person struggling with alcohol, Bottled Up can help. For more advice, guidance, and 1 to 1 counselling and information on the services Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Christmas is usually very difficult when you're having to deal with a drinker. The drinking may increase, the aggravation and stress may reach new levels, and when everybody is in a party mood, you might just want to hide away. In this episode Lou and John guide you through ways to help you cope with Christmas.

Magical thinking or realistic expectations (manage your expectations!).

It's alright to be ambivalent about the festive season!

Negotiate on certain points.

If you've had enough of a party, leave.

Set boundaries.

Create buffers.

Find some peace.

Look after you.

Whether you're a person struggling with an alcoholic in your life, or a person struggling with alcohol, Bottled Up can help. For more advice, guidance, and 1 to 1 counselling and information on the services Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join Lou and John for a question and answer episode. Questions include: Is it possible to rebuild your relationship with your drinker? Are non-alcholic drinks a good idea? What is grief in a relationship?

Whether you're a person struggling with an alcoholic in your life, or a person struggling with alcohol, Bottled Up can help. For more advice, guidance, and 1 to 1 counselling and information on the services Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People need motivation to stop drinking. But what motivates one person to quit alcohol, may not motivate another person. In this episode John and Lou discuss what motivates change, where you or your partner can find motivation to change and how to sustain the change which leads you to life without alcohol. With John's professional research, personal and professional anecdotes and observations, and a structured approach to change, this episode is essential for problem drinkers and those who have to deal with a problem drinker in understanding how to break the cycle of addiction.

Whether you're a person struggling with an alcoholic in your life, or a person struggling with alcohol Bottled Up can help. For more advice, guidance, and 1 to 1 counselling and information on the services Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.com

Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".

Dr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.

Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.

John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

The Bottled Up program is innovative and advocates that the partners of alcoholics can introduce changes to their lives, which will empower them and influence their drinkers to change. If you live with an alcoholic partner, or are looking for help to quit drinking, then Bottled Up is for you.

For more help and advice visit www.bottled-up.com

For advertising and sponsorship opportunities email [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.