Bounce! Conversations with Larry Weeks

"The greater the mistake, the more foolish the belief, the more consequences of that belief...Then, the greater your need to reduce that dissonance in your favor because the gap is greater between yourself and feelings of self worth" - Carol Tavris

On this podcast, we talk about what happens after we make a terrible mistake. What is our response to our mistakes? Do we try to brush it off? Do we say screw it and double down?

Mistakes don't necessarily end with the mistake itself - it can get worse, much worse.

It's akin to the axiom for failure testing software;

Almost all catastrophic errors are the result of incorrect handling of non-fatal errors that are explicitly signaled.

Consider Bill Clinton. It is arguable that had he admitted to his relationship with Monica Lewinsky early and contritely, he would have avoided a 4-month long impeachment process - and embarrassing testimony recorded for posterity.

Or we can get better, we can learn and grow from our mistakes.

But that takes admission along with taking responsibility so that we don't make the same mistake again.

This podcast explains why that's so hard to do.

My guests are Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson. They co-authored the book "Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts" The book, and our conversation, is about cognitive dissonance theory applied to a wide variety of topics, including politics, religious belief, memory, criminal justice, and even family quarrels.

Carol is an American social psychologist, public intellectual, well-known writer, and lecturer. She's devoted her career to the psychological sciences; the beliefs and practices that guide people's lives. Carol has a Ph.D. in social psychology from the University of Michigan, has taught psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles and the New School for Social Research. Carol is also a member of the editorial board of Psychological Science in the Public Interest. Her articles, book reviews, and op-eds have appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, The Times Literary Supplement, Scientific American and other publications.

Elliot Aronson is one of the most famous names in the discipline of social psychology due in no small part to his best book, The Social Animal. He is listed among the 100 most eminent psychologists of the 20th century. He has taught at Harvard University, the University of Minnesota, the University of Texas, and is currently professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz.

This was an easy conversation as Carol and Elliot are both so very likable. I told them that if I had to tell someone about my mistakes, it would be them, as they came across as genuinely caring.

I think you'll agree.

Our conversation covers these topics and more.

• Why people might justify bad decisions.
• Cognitive dissonance
• The pyramid of choice
• Faulty memory
• Keeping beliefs against revealed evidence
• Dealing with our bad memories
• How to learn from mistakes
• Cancel culture
• Partitioning mistakes from persons
• Anatomy of an apology

Enjoy!

For resources and more visit larryweeks.com

Rory Sutherland is a best selling author, ad man being the Vice Chairman of Ogilvy and Mather and co-founder of Ogilvy Change, a behavioral science practice where they believe the greatest gains to be made in business and society are psychological, not technological. Rory is regarded as one of marketing and advertising's most original thinkers and inspirational speakers; a cumulative 7M viewers have seen his Ted Talks.

This is Rory's second appearance on the podcast. The first episode 20, which is still very popular. Because Rory has his finger on the pulse of consumer psychology, I wanted his take on the impact of stay at home orders on our respective western consumers as the Coronavirus (hopefully) wanes.

How will our consuming and workplace behavior change?

So this is a wide-ranging conversation covering these topics and more...

• Speculating on permanent and temporary consumer behavior changes
• Behaviors that are inherently resilient
• Social norms
• The future of the workplace, commuting, public policy, travel, and movies
• Trends vs. vectors
• What does he think about marketing/advertising on the edge of a pandemic?
• What should brands do amidst all this change?
• Habits and social copying

Enjoy!

For resources and notes see larryweeks.com

I'm never sure how to introduce James Altucher to anyone who might not have heard of him. He's a best selling author with a hugely successful podcast, investor, serial entrepreneur, former VC & hedge fund manager, computer programmer, and chess master. I'm sure I've left some out but just Google him, he's everywhere.

Returning for his second appearance on the podcast (see more of his story here), James is one of the most interesting people I know. But his superpower and what I admire about him most is his vulnerability. He's an open book and not afraid to lean into controversy.

To the point of this show, on his podcast, he's been talking with a wide variety of experts about the Coronavirus, everyone from an immunologist, physicians, geneticist, economist to policy experts and super forecasters in the form of regular updates starting in February. He also lives in Manhattan, which is ground zero for the epidemic here in the states, which gives him another perspective I don't have.

Well, I thought I'd short cut my research and just call him for a distillation of what he's finding out; what after all these conversations has he concluded about what is happening now?

So here are just some of the topics we cover

• Political risks for any opinion on what to do next
• The math used for Coronavirus spread / who got what wrong?
• Issues with flattening the curve
• Dividing the certain from the uncertain
• He view on when this will it effectively "end"
• Possible shape of the recovery - L,U,V,W?
• Economic impact and when he thinks the country should open up or could open
• How the future has been pulled forward
• Businesses that may never return to normal
• How to be an idea machine
• Business ideas that are favorable in this environment
• His personal practices for recovering from setback - as he's been through many

Enjoy

Seem more at larryweeks.com

William B. Irvine is a professor of philosophy at Wright State University. The author of seven books, including The Stoic Challenge and A Guide to the Good Life, he has also written for the Wall Street Journal, Huffington Post, Salon, Time, and the BBC. He lives in Dayton, Ohio

For the context of the show I refer you to his latest, The Stoic Challenge: A Philosopher's Guide to Becoming Tougher, Calmer and More Resilient

Philosophy for William is not just an academic career; he actually lives it, having adopted Stoicism many years ago, making him an outlier in the academic community.

In many ways, this ancient school of thought preempted many aspects of modern psychology and how to use some of its tenants to deal with setbacks.

The Stoics' realized that even though you have limited control over what setbacks you experience, you can develop considerable control over how you respond to them. One of the 1st century Stoics Seneca wrote about the differences between experiencing a setback and suffering from it, by changing the perspective of how one thinks of setbacks.

You've probably read or heard of some form of this quote attributed to another Stoic, Epictetus

"We suffer not from the events in our lives but from our judgment about them." On this show, we explore that precept - with some helpful thought experiments that I encourage you to try

Topics covered

• How he came to Stoicism
• Comparisons with Buddhism
• Psychology of a setback
• Stoic framing (the test frame, hero frame, target frame)
• Negative visualization
• "The last time" exercise and premature nostalgia
• Resetting hedonic standards
• The power of perspective

Enjoy!

For show notes and more see larryweeks.com

This episode is about trying to understand our true capacity to cope with stress and how to arouse the dormant resilience in all of us.

My guest on this show seems to be proof there are benefits from extreme physical challenges. In his case, actually seeking out stressors and using them to hack the nervous system - reprogramming it's response to those stressors.

Scott Carney is an investigative journalist who has worked in some of the most dangerous and unlikely corners of the world. His work has been the subject of a variety of radio and television programs, including NPR and National Geographic TV.

Before writing what eventually became the New York Times bestseller, "What Doesn't Kill Us," Scott set out to prove that the now-famous "iceman" Wim Hoff was a charlatan and his workshop retreats destined to kill people. Instead, Scott winds up climbing Mount Kilimanjaro half-naked, submerging himself in ice water learning radical breathing techniques (see Episode 6 of this podcast). The experience gave Scott almost superhuman levels of endurance, and he says it quieted a persistent autoimmune illness.

At the core of these methods is a technique Scott outlines in detail with his new book "The Wedge." In this episode, we talk about how it works, what he found on his search for other people who understood the language of the body's response to the environment. What other "wedges" did he discover?

This chat with Scott helped me think of stress as something to use. Specific stressors can be opportunities to build a form of strength in the area where the stress is met, whether physical or mental. During the interview, Scott talks about the brain's ability to build "libraries of emotional experiences" tied to stressful events. He thinks you can hack the libraries by various means of exposure and or wedges dealing with the stress to change how you experience it, thus increasing your ability to cope.

This chat will push you to reconsider how far out your limits may be.

Some interesting sections of the conversation...

• What he learned from Wim Hoff
• The two way communication between the mind-body and body-mind
• Relationships between physiological and psychological stress
• Possibilities in reprogramming the nervous system
• Placebos
• How to use environment to increase resilience
• A new game of catch - with iron weights
• Confronting fear in a laboratory

Enjoy!

For show notes and more visit larryweeks.com

At the moment as I publish this, there are 340,000 cases of the Coronavirus and over 9,700 deaths from it in the U.S. Over 70,000 deaths world wide.

The amount and velocity of information on the pandemic is overwhelming and much of it conflicts. Do this - don't do that. I need help parsing all of it.

Enter Dr. Alex Lickerman, M.D.

Alex is a direct primary care physician at ImagineMD, spending the first 20 years of his career as a leader at the University of Chicago, where he ran primary care for seven years and taught generations of today's leaders in medicine. There he enjoyed a reputation as "a doctor's doctor," caring for many physicians who are themselves today considered leaders in their fields.

I wanted to talk with Alex about the Coronavirus because of his unique qualifications as a physician and his work in resilience. Alex is the author of, The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self that formed the basis of the landmark Resilience Project, which he began while at the University of Chicago.

Short show (36 mins) but I get to ask a lot of questions that he kindly answers in detail

• Comparisons New York vs Chicago
• What's unique about the Coronavirus
• Current best treatments
• Separating fact from the news
• Symptoms and timeframes
• What should I do if I get sick?
• How long will this last?
• Tylenol, Advil - which ?
• The problem with hydroxychloroquine
• Percentages - sick or very sick
• Hospital capacity in the US
• On face masks
• How long will this last?
• Why and how we can be calm

As I publish this (April 2020) the current Coronavirus pandemic has been a setback for all of us in various degrees, some worse than others. Hence, I would encourage you to listen to this episode and share with someone who could use it.

My guest is Dr. Steven M. Southwick, who along with Dennis Charney are the co-authors of Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life's Greatest Challenges. The book summarizes research into the psychological, biological, and social impact of trauma, and it combines the latest scientific findings in the area of resilience drawing on two decades of work with trauma survivors

"Resilient individuals resemble a twig with a fresh, green living core. When twisted out of shape, such a twig bends, but it does not break; instead, it springs back and continues growing" - George Vaillant

Steven completed his psychiatry residency at Yale University School of Medicine. He is the Glenn H. Greenberg Professor of Psychiatry, PTSD and Resilience at Yale University Medical School and Yale Child Study Center. He is also the Medical Director of the Clinical Neuroscience of the Veterans Affairs National Center for PTSD.

Steven has worked with a wide range of trauma survivors including combat veterans, civilian children and adults with PTSD, and very high functioning, former prisoners of war.

There is a bit of irony in this episode based on the times we are living through in 2020. One, is my warning to those who were having an easy time of life that challenge would come so prepare now. The other is Steven's admonition for social connection. Harder now as we are all social distancing but even more important due to the stress many are going through. Hello Zoom.

We also cover these topics on this episode

• His research into resilience and PTSD
• What led him to write the book
• How the brain may work against you in traumatic or challenging circumstances.
• Why and how each of us differ in our responses to stress
• The resilience factors
• Passive and active "toughening"
• Trauma and growth
• What survivors do to successfully cope with extreme circumstances.
• Active toughening and the importance of recovery
• Social pain and the importance of social networks.
• The "bleed" effect of exercise on emotion
• The power of "squads"
• What he asks someone who is suffering when they first come to him for help

Much more here so please listen

I write about all my shows, visit www.larryweeks.com

Depending on the research, there are anywhere from 40% - 60% percent of us admitting we make New Year's resolutions, A study from the University of Scranton found that 23% of people quit their resolution after one week. And only 19% of individuals actually stick to the goals longer term.

We put off starting a project we planned, or once started, we never finish. We swear to eat healthily, lose weight, or you name it, only to see ourselves defeated by what seems to be a lack of will.

If we really want to do these things, why don't we do them?

My guest on the show is Dr. Piers Steel.

Piers is a Distinguished Research Chair at the University of Calgary, where he teaches human resources and organizational dynamics at the Haskayne School of Business.

Piers is one of the world's leading researchers on the science of motivation and procrastination.

He's also the inventor of the procrastination equation – an equation that can explain every scientific finding on procrastination ever and is laid out in his oft-cited book The Procrastination Equation: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done.

You're about to find out not only why you procrastinate, but the science around what works to overcome it, i.e., how to increase motivation.

When you learn the equation, you can use it to diagnose where your lack of motivation might be coming from. And from there, you can increase your motivation on-command.

Piers lays it out for us.

On this show, some of the topics we cover include …

• Long-held myths on why people procrastinate
• The truth about why we procrastinate
• He breaks down each part of the motivation equation and talks through how to work with them
• The power of context
• The real problem with impulsiveness and some tricks to thwart temptation
• Sort ranking the motivation variables by impact
• THE #1 Reason people procrastinate
• What elevates motivation and what depresses it
• The problem with smart goals

Enjoy!

For resources, show notes and more visit larryweeks.com

M.I.T. Technology Review dubbed Nir Eyal, "The Prophet of Habit-Forming Technology" as he is the author of the bestselling book on building habit forming products (Hooked). So who better to help us understand the neuroscience of distraction. Nir's new book, "Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life" is the topic of this podcast.

"In the future, there will be two kinds of people in the world: those who let their attention and lives be controlled and coerced by others and those who proudly call themselves 'indistractable." - Nir Eyal

Saying this show is about distraction doesn't do it justice. This is probably just me, but distraction is so universal I think we minimize its impact in our lives. I think we hear about it all the time of late due to the onset of the smartphone. And if we don't have that problem, well, we think we have no problem.

This is about your time and attention, why you lose control of it and how to get it back. It's about valuing your attention and we only have so much time left and we're not guaranteed whatever amount we think we have left.

This episode is very quick listen in a sense that Nir gets right into it, I had to be very fast with my note taking.

Some of the topics we cover include ...

• Technology and addiction
• On habit forming products
• Differences between addiction and distraction
• The psychology of distraction, causes etc.
• The psychology of email
• A 4-step framework for becoming indistractable
• The problem with to-do lists
• Time boxing and values
• On hyperbolic discounting

There is a lot under these topic umbrellas and much of the episode is tactical. I took a ton of notes and have already seen the benefits of applying much of it. Fit this in, you should hear it.

Nir's resources, show notes and more at larryweeks.com

This is a podcast about results, getting things done. How to move past uncertainty and define the future.

In this episode I talk with J.J. Sutherland. He is the CEO of Scrum Inc and is also the co-author of Scrum: The Art of Doing Twice the Work in Half the Time, written with his father, Jeff Sutherland, the co-creator of Scrum. His newest book The Scrum Fieldbook, A Master Class on Accelerating Performance, Getting Results, and Defining the Future, is the topic of this show.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term Scrum, it's a framework originally used as a faster, more effective way to create software in the tech industry. The Scrum process is now being used successfully in general business practice all over the world in companies of all types, outside of pure tech.

This chat is in part a discovery process as to why that is.

J.J. says Scrum is the art of changing the possible or what is possible. And I think after listening to this episode, you might join him in that belief.

Some great advice here on not only what Scrum really is or how it works but J.J offers some great insights on teamwork, why projects fail, how to use failure and fear as catalysts and how Scrum can be applied anywhere.

Be prepared to be motivated to get stuff done after listening.

Enjoy!

I blog about all episodes, for more info visit larryweeks.com