Boys Built Better

“As many as 1 in every 5 teens experience depression at some point during adolescence, but they often go undiagnosed and untreated.” My own son was diagnosed with depression at the age of 11, but he had been suffering for probably a year before that diagnosis. As a parent, I had an inkling but wasn’t sure and really didn’t know at what point to seek help and certainly didn’t know what to expect when finally making that appointment. Today I am speaking with pediatrician Dr. Hector De Leon about depression in children and adolescents. We are chatting about what depression is, its symptoms, how it’s diagnosed and what treatment looks like. From stigma to how to talk to your kids about it, Dr. De Leon covers everything you need to know to identify depression and get your child the help he needs.Topics• Understanding depression (4:50)

• How depression is different in children (8:66)

• Symptoms of depression (10:46)

• Depression in older children vs. younger children (12:35)

• How depression progresses (13:45)

• Boys and depression (17:50)

• How and When to seek a diagnosis (21:50)

• How depression is diagnosed (24:06)

• Related Conditions (25:38)

• How to talk to your kids (27:00)

• Treatment options (29:20)

• Reoccurrence (34:44)

• Resources (38:09)Show Notes and Links• Head over to https://findyourwords.org to check out Kaiser Permanente’s site on depression including a self-assessment tool

• The CDC has several pages dedicated to depression check out the childhood depression page at https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/depression.html

• The American Academy of pediatrics also has several pages on depression that can be accessed at https://www.aap.org/ including this article by Nerrisa S. Bauer that I pulled the above quote from available at https://www.aap.org/en-us/aap-voices/Pages/Adolescent-Depression.aspx

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• Get full episode notes at https://boysbuiltbetter.com/

While planning content with SAVA for our consent series, the topic of boys in the era of #MeToo came up. I had seen some posts on social media raising concern for boys today and they had me wondering. Is it harder to be a boy today? What effect does the #MeToo movement have on men? And on parents raising boys? Today I am chatting with Brett Naylor of the SAVA Center on what it means to be a man today.Topics• What the #metoo movement is (2:50)

• Its significance (5:25)

• What does #metoo mean to men (7:26)

• Is it more dangerous to be a man today? (10:15)

• Fake accusations (11:58)

• Parenting Boys (17:50)

• Men Too (20:07)

• Terry Crews (25:13)

• Fathers (30:59)

• Supporting Survivors (33:26)

• Resources (38:50)Show Notes and LinksFor more on Terry Crews’ story:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2017/11/15/i-will-not-be-shamed-actor-terry-crews-details-his-alleged-sexual-assault/For sexual violence support outside of Northern Colorado visit:

https://www.rainn.orgThe national domestic violence hotline:

https://www.thehotline.org/The national suicide hotline:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.orgThe SAVA Center:

http://savacenter.org Want more Boys Built Better? Like us on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/boysbuiltbetter/Get full episode notes:

https://boysbuiltbetter.com/

In honor of Sexual Assault Prevention Month, today we are talking about teaching your children about consent. The idea of consent has been coming up a lot in the media lately, so much so that now it can be added to the list of things that SHOULD be talked about with your children. What I love about this conversation is that it really highlights how consent education not only develops an understanding of the what consents is and how to ask, but also helps to create your child’s own body autonomy and better self-awareness.Topics:* How a Perpetrator is Created (3:50)

* Approaching Consent with Kids (10:47)

* Talking About Consent at Every Age (17:18)

* Body Autonomy (20:46)

* Normal Development and Red Flags (25:33)

* Media’s Influence (32:31)

* What Kids See vs. Reality (39:35)

* Programs SAVA Teaches (44:18)

* Community Involvement (46:12)

* Resources (48:30)Show Notes and Links:How is consent like a cup of tea?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kUFor the previous episode on understanding assault, harassment and consent:

https://boysbuiltbetter.com/podcast/understanding-harassment-assault-and-consent/For our episode on how to talk to your kids about sex:

https://boysbuiltbetter.com/podcast/creating-sexually-healthy-boys-of-all-ages-and-talking-to-your-son-about-sex/For more information on the text lines mentioned:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-rocky-mountains/information-teens/icyc-case-youre-curious

https://www.loveisrespect.org/Contact the SAVA Center:

http://savacenter.org Want more Boys Built Better?

https://www.facebook.com/boysbuiltbetter/Get full episode notes:

https://boysbuiltbetter.com/

You cannot raise boys today without being cognizant of what that means in our current society. Recent events such as the #MeToo movement and the Kavanaugh hearings have placed the topic of consent on the forefront of my mind as a mom of boys. Not only does it mean that as a parent I need to be responsible for teaching about consent to my children, but it also means that I need to be more informed as well. Today I am chatting with Hannah Butler of the SAVA Center and we are defining assault, harassment, and consent as well as discussing how society sets up an environment in which these exist. It’s a topic that you might think you understand, but it is also an ever-changing landscape and something to consider discussing regularly with your child so that you both understand the ramifications of all types of behavior.Topics* Pyramid of Violence (4:25)

* Media Involvement (14:44)

* How Individuals Can Make a Difference (19:27)

* Defining Harassment (21:42)

* Defining Assault (25:28)

* Title IX (32:48)

* Examples of Harassment and Assault (36:50)

* Defining Consent (40:28)To view SAVA’s Pyramid of Violence, visit:

https://boysbuiltbetter.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Pyramid-of-Violence.jpgHow is consent like a cup of tea?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kUFor more info on SAVA Center go to:

http://savacenter.org Want more Boys Built Better? Like us on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/boysbuiltbetter/Get full episode notes:

https://boysbuiltbetter.com/

When does a child who is gay start to realize that? And what does coming out look like from both that boy’s perspective and his parents? Today we are chatting with my friend Leslie Lubell and her son Eli about one story from two perspectives. From bullies, to bravery, today’s episode will shed light on what it feels like to realize you are homosexual and how best to support your child through those early days.Topics* Coming Out as a Child (4:23)

* At Home vs. At school (9:20)

* Advice for other’s in the same position (12:12)

* Coping with Bullies (17:04)

* Coming Out as a Parent (19:10)

* How did you know so young? (38:57)

* Advice for parents who are struggling (41:22)Show Notes and LinksTo contribute to Eli’s athletic fundraising campaign visit:

https://on.loudspeaker.org/2TIBzuLFor more information about supporting your child visit PFLAG:

https://pflag.org Want more Boys Built Better? Like us on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/boysbuiltbetter/Get full episode notes:

https://boysbuiltbetter.com/

All the QuestionsMan, have I been fielding a lot of questions about money lately. How much money do we have? Can we buy a Lamborghini? I want to go out to lunch with friends, can you give me some cash?

All this talk prompted me to consult the internet for tips and tricks on how to talk to my boys about money and help grow them into financially literate adults.Financial LiteracyDid you know that was a thing? I honestly didn't until a few weeks ago. Being financially literate means that you as an adult have an understanding of things like: budgeting, debt, interest, and saving.Do you know what else? Statistics show that most of us ADULTS are unlikely to be financially literate and that it is not generally being taught in schools. That means that if your kids are going to grow up understanding all the ins and outs of handling money, YOU are going to have to teach them.Today we are talking about what it means to be financially literate and the skills you should possess as well as how to talk to your kids about money (Hint: if you listened to this show on how to talk to kids about sex, money is the same way. It is never too late, and never too early to start.) I also let you in the big debate on how to handle getting money to your kids and what we are doing at our house.Show Notes and Links:Find the definition of financial literacy:

https://www.financialeducatorscouncil.org/financial-literacy-definition/For more about the skills needed to be financially literate check out:

https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/what-is-financial-literacy

https://www.fastweb.com/student-life/articles/the-5-key-components-of-financial-literacyWant to know about how to talk to your kids about money?

https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-money

https://childmind.org/article/talking-kids-money/The expert that says allowance is OK:

https://slate.com/business/2015/02/kids-allowances-youre-doing-it-completely-wrong.htmlI am currently reading "The Opposite of Spoiled" by Ron Leiber, an expert whose tone as generally resonated with me.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062247026/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=boysbuiltbe04-20Timestamps:

Financial Literacy (7:30)

Talking to your kids about money (11:59)

The allowance debate (21:16)

What is working for us (23:45)

Looking Ahead (30:30)

"To Thine Own Self Be True"  -William ShakespeareIn our first Boys Beyond the Ball episode, I am talking to Jason Peck director of theater at St. Luke’s School as well as the founder and co-artistic director of Thrown Stone Theater Company.  We are chatting about what it is like participating in theater growing up and the positive impact that it can have on kids today. We discuss everything from what goes into a production, the myriad of skills that theater can develop (hello, empathy!), specific challenges boys face and how theater can help boys overcome those challenges.Show Notes and Links* Subscribe on iTunes or your favorite podcast player

* Like Boys Built Better on Facebook

* Want to know more about Jason? Check out Thrown Stone Theater Company

 

Timestamps* Getting Started (6:50)

* What being in theater looks like (9:41)

* Positive Effects on Boyhood (13:31)

* Components of a Production (16:00)

* Backstage Opportunities (19:05)

* Skill Building (20:50)

* Participating in Theater Today (27:46)

* Challenges Boys Face Today (31:36)

* Working with Boys in Theater (33:47)

* Theater Helping Boys (36:21)

* Tips for Parents on getting your son involved in theater (38:12)

I’ve been thinking about boys and speech. Maybe it’s because my nephew is in speech therapy, maybe it’s because my friend’s son is too or maybe it’s because I have concerns about my own 6-year-old.Do boys talk later than girls? What can I do as a parent to support speech development? And where do I start if I’m concerned?Today I am chatting with Sarah Armstrong a Speech and Language pathologist with over 22 years of experience.  We are talking about the role of a Speech and Language pathologist, understanding speech development, boys and speech, identifying a delay and supporting speech growth.

 

Recommended Resources:* Visit the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association asha.org to find therapists and for more information on speech disorders

* Visit speakingofspeech.com or teacherspayteachers.com to find resources for helping your own child with speech

* Want to hear more from Sarah? Reach out at [email protected] or find Sarah Oakden Armsrong on Linked InTimestamps* Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (2:00)

* What is a Speech Language Pathologist? (7:50)

* Speech vs. Language (10:35)

* Stages of Development (13:23)

* Do boys talk later? (17:05)

* Identifying a Delay (21:37)

* Where to get a diagnosis (25:50)

* The importance of Early Intervention (28:08)

* Speech Delay and its relation to other learning delays (29:48)

* How to catch up (32:40)

* What to look for in a good therapist (36:03)

* Speech and older kids (40:33)

* School Therapy vs. Private (42:50)

* Supporting Speech Development in all children (45:08)

* Things Parents Should or Shouldn’t do (50:03)

* Resources (57:30)

“Dyslexia robs a person of time; accommodations return it.” –Dr. Sally Shaywitz

 

Learning to Read is hard enough as it is, right? But what if your child also has a language processing disorder? And how would you know?

 

Today I am talking with Lindsay Terry-Lloyd founder of the non-profit Klimb Consulting (www.klimbconsulting.org) a bay-area based company dedicated to helping parents navigate a dyslexia diagnosis. In this episode, Lindsay shares her own family’s story as well as tips on identifying dyslexia and living with dyslexia while maintain your child’s confidence.

Things I never knew until this interview:* 20 percent of the population is dyslexic

* A Dyslexia diagnosis can range from mild to severe

* While dyslexics do struggle with reading, dyslexia comes with identifiable positive attributes such as extraordinary building and/or drawing talentsRecommended Resources:* For a list of signs and additional information, check out the Yale Center for Dyslexia (dyslexia.yale.edu)

* Recommended Therapy Modalities:* Orton Gillingham

* Slingerland (Assessment as well)

* Wilson

* Barton

* Linda Wood-Bell* Get assistance for Learning and attention issues at Understood.org

* Learn more about Dyslexia at International Dyslexic Association

* Audible is a great resource for audio books, we have an account that my kids use nightlyClick to Try Audible and get two books free!!

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks* Get audio textbooks at Learning Ally

* Online Text-to-Speech Reader at Natural ReaderFor more even more info, check out Klimb Consulting

Timestamps* 3 Children with Dyslexia (4:48)

* Hereditary Component (7:11)

* Getting Through a Diagnosis (8:42)

* Enough Information? (11:39)

* Prevalence of Dyslexia (14:10)

* Early Signs of Dyslexia (16:08)

* Positive Attributes of Dyslexia and Famous Dyslexics (19:05)

* Types of Interventions (20:53)

* Seeking a Diagnosis (23:05)

* Accommodations at School (25:33)

* Importance of Early Diagnosis (28:24)

* After Diagnosis, What’s Next? (30:50)

* Naming Dyslexia (34:25)

* Dealing with the Additional Stress and Maintaining Confidence (37:30)

* How Parents Can Help Support Students (40:40)

* Finding Help (42:10)

* Support Reading Growth at Home (44:22)

Happy New Year!!!My resolution this year is to continue to be there for my boys in a greater way than just checking in on homework assignments daily.  And today we are talking about just that.

 

I met my guest, Amber Olsen, through Facebook several months ago.  Amber, is the founder of The Kaleidoscope Project, which is an organization helping to support the emotional development of girls.  As I learned more about what she is doing, it became more and more apparent that the same issue is not only relevant but essential for boys and that Amber would make an awesome guest.

 

I feel like more and more I am reading about how critical it is to support your son’s emotional development to the same extent, if not more, than you would support a girl.  The thing about boys is that they are constantly working against a societal expectation of being emotionless.  But boys, especially pre-teens, aren’t emotionless and navigating the highs and lows of life is a complex emotional roller coaster and requires parental support.

 

But here’s the thing about supporting your child.  There also has to been connection there.  If you want to be able to talk feelings, you need to be present in your son’s life for more than just nagging about homework.

 

How can we, as parents, connect with our boys and use that connection to facilitate emotional development and health? Tune in to find out.

 

Resources* Article on 12 Year Old Boys Emotional Development

* The Mask You Live In, film on emotional pressures of boys now playing on Netflix

* Article on Ramifications of Social Media on Emotions

* The Five Love Languages 

Timestamps* New Year’s Resolutions (1:15)

* Why Emotions (5:25)

* Middle Schoolers Unique Emotional Needs (8:29)

* How emotions are being affected today (13:14)

* Social Media Pressures (15:04)

* You Are What You Take In (18:22)

* How can Parents Support Emotional Health (20:00)

* Introvert vs. Extrovert (23:08)

* Do you want me to Listen or do you want Feedback? (24:08)

* Connecting with Your Child (25:05)

* Checking-in Emotionally (30:00)

* How involved should you get? (31:13)

* Ways we can make sure our child is being acknowledged and heard (39:18)

* Hug It Back (42:02)

* Strategies for dealing with emotions (44:58)