Why does it hurt so much when someone pulls away — even a little? In this episode, we dig into the fear of abandonment: one of the most painful and core symptoms of BPD. We explore how early attachment wounds, brain differences, and invalidating environments shape our deep fear of being left — and why even small changes in connection can feel like devastation.
We balance the science with lived experience — sharing what it’s like from the inside, and what can actually help.
Trigger Warning: Discusses BPD symptoms including intense emotional distress and relationship trauma; take care.
🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you'd like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at [email protected] and let’s keep the conversation going.
📩 For support on your BPD recovery journey with DBT-based skills and Mindfulness practices, email me for a free 30-Minute Consultation: [email protected] or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org
🎧 Looking for guided meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out our YouTube channel Empowered Heroes for free meditations created with love and care: https://www.youtube.com/@Empoweredheroes
Also available on Spotify at Empowered Heroes Meditations.
If you or someone you care about may be experiencing symptoms of BPD, know that you’re not alone. Support is out there, and reaching out to a mental health professional can be a powerful first step. Recovery is possible.
📚 Referenced research includes
Donegan et al. (2003). Amygdala hyperreactivity in borderline personality disorder: Implications for emotional dysregulation. Biol Psychiatry.
Agrawal, Gunderson, Holmes, & Lyons-Ruth (2004). Attachment studies with borderline patients: A review. Harv Rev Psychiatry, 12(2), 94–104.
Ainsworth et al. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Lawrence Erlbaum.
Herpertz & Bertsch (2015). A new perspective on the pathophysiology of borderline personality disorder: A model of the role of oxytocin. Am J Psychiatry, 172(6), 460–468.
Di Giacomo et al. (2024). Oxytocin and borderline personality disorder: A review of recent findings and clinical implications. J Affect Disord, 336, 231–243.
Kendler (1996). Genetic influences on parental warmth: Evidence from twin studies.
