Who makes our decisions for us? Do we consider the consequences of our choices? If we make decisions rooted in our sense of entitlement, it might mean someone else loses. It might bring about suffering among our community, which will come back around and cause us suffering. Instead, we trust in karma, recognizing that the intention behind our action results in eventual consequences.

Like a gardener uses old scraps to feed new seedlings, we can use our processed experiences to cultivate something new in our lives. Instead of tucking away our afflictive experiences, we mindfully reflect on them. We recognize what we can learn from them and nurture our new experiences with them.

We get easily lured away from our center by our attachments and vices. We all have them. It’s just a matter of whether we control them or they control us. We take a pause, return to the virtues of our spiritual center, then ask, “is this a wise choice?”

We go to a therapist for our mental health, but what about our spiritual health? That’s the job of a spiritual director. Richard Rohr writes that both can be helpful in leading a healthy, productive life. I would also add a third—someone who knows about healing the body.

Tiger Woods’ car accident would have him suffer leg injuries, and people are doubting the future of his golf career. Having back surgery the same time he did in 2014, I was amazed how quickly he would swing the golf club again. People were amazed that I would finish an Ironman five months after my back surgery. We can never underestimate the power of the human spirit. If Tiger Woods wants to return to professional golf, I have no doubt he will. It might not come quickly, but it will come.

I hate Mondays and the constriction that accompanies it. However, I experience the dread for what it is—just a temporary feeling that will pass just as the moment and the day do. Yes, I still yearn for the weekend when I’m free, but our clinging or aversion to what the moment brings can cause us to lose an opportunity for a new direction.

Confession here: I roll my eyes whenever I see a televangelist whip themselves into an ecstatic state. I can do that, too, if I spin myself around for a few minutes. I can also take drugs to induce visions. But none of these experiences are God. A vision or ecstatic experience isn’t “on demand.” They are gifts, secrets, to encourage us to venture further. We have to be discerning about any of these by reflecting on our internal state before and after them. Has our craving for experience conjured something in our imagination? Or do we feel a sense of vanity afterwards, like we’re somehow more advanced in our spiritual walk than others? Ultimately, as Thomas Merton and John of the Cross tell us, we can’t rely on these experiences as our only means of divine connection. We have to let go of the craving.

If we are in a continual state of growth and renewal, can we do the same with others? Do we see people we know as our picture of them from 20 years ago, or do we see the new, evolved person of today? It’s important for us to experience each person, each scene, each moment as ever-changing. This fluidity allows us to open ourselves to bends in the road.

It’s unhealthy for us to avoid our inner conflicts. Oftentimes we consume too much fake news and live in a positivity echo chamber. Eventually, a situation will inflame the kindling of our resentment, which might bring actual harm to ourselves or others. Instead, we are called to be honest with ourselves and our suffering. Rather than sugarcoat what we feel, we can compassionately tell ourselves when things aren’t ok. Rather than ignore wounds until they get infected, we address them and heal them. It takes courage and honesty.

We often hear the power of gratitude in spiritual circles, but scientists have found that gratitude can motivate you to pursue your goals. When someone does something nice for you, that feeling of gratitude stirs you to do something nice in return. Gratitude gives you the willpower and hope to carry on.