In a country that praises the freedom of speech, we don’t practice much discernment in the consequences of our words. All spiritual traditions tell us something about how we should speak and receive one another. Rather than use words to “win,” we use words to further truth, not profit or power. Our words do matter, and we should not be surprised if unhealthy conflict results by using words that incite harm.

How crazy people can be claiming their culture, their identity, their God as “theirs,” as if it’s something they can possess? We even see our material possessions as “mine,” not “yours.” When we consider things from a spiritual perspective, we all belong to one another. We all belong to God. Rabindranath Tagore makes an interesting metaphor—that we are all rivers longing to meet the sea.

Many cultures emphasize more—more power, more wealth, more things. We’re easily led to believe that bigger is better, and we should seek to expand our acquisitions. But joy can start as small as a mustard seed. It can sprout from simple things. Rather than spread wide, joy can spread deep, taking root within.

The story of the magi who visited Jesus is one of my favorites. What would inspire these men—of course we’re not sure there were three OR they were all men. The magi had seen in the stars that a king had been born. They traveled a great distance and brought gifts to an infant. They knew something others did not—that there was something magnificent happening. I always wonder what great things are happening right under our noses that we’re missing because we aren’t looking through a spiritual lens.

Many of us couldn’t wait for 2020 to be over, as if putting up a new calendar will magically change things. Beginning a new year is only a shared mental construction. If we wanted, we could have begun a new year a month ago. If we see each day, each moment as an opportunity to begin again, we can experience the freshness each moment has to offer.

In times of great change or great stagnation, we face the fear of uncertainty. We easily get caught up in the panic and don’t pause for the teaching each moment has to offer. There is a unity in all things, and that unity whispers us a promise: “Everything will be ok.”

When everything is quickly available at the flick of a fingertip, we struggle and ache when we have to wait. When our desires aren’t immediately gratified, we don’t see what preparation is necessary for us to receive. If we skip steps and receive our gift prematurely, the outcome might not be what we desired.

The internet allows our words to spread all over the world. Some words, particularly those that arouse controversy, are amplified, contributing to pain rather than peace. Rather than speaking without consideration, Khalil Gibran tells us to let the spirit guide our tongue and shape our words. Those are words that pierce the heart and endure well beyond the conversation.

Perhaps one of the reasons I’m still single in my 50s is that I spent most of my 20s and 30s chasing after men who were wrong for me. I was addicted to the thrill of the chase and the brief exhilaration of acquisition. With most of these relationships, I would be left broken-hearted and empty-handed. When we live in a state of clinging and acquiring, we aren’t free. The object of our desires imprisons us.

We often talk about the “stress” of the holidays, but can we complain about that now? Instead, we mourn NOT having our many social gatherings. Just think—you probably won’t have to battle holiday weight gain in January! Yet still, we are uneasy when we can’t find peace in being alone. However, Henri Nouwen writes that by finding our quiet center, we can develop a sense of authenticity that we carry into our relationships with others.