Brave Yes CEO

I'M BACK! Whew, listen to this podcast to hear about why I took such a long break AND to get some inspiration for your week.

I talk about my latest blog post as well: https://shawnfink.com/15-time-wasters-to-stop-doing/

Learn more about coaching with me here: https://shawnfink.com/soul-shine

5 Life Coaching Pep Talks to Help You Step Out of Languishing Mode by Shawn Fink

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Languishing is a no-joy land. It’s a no-pleasure space.

And it’s also where so many women find themselves.

This is why I have been taking you deeper into the Politics of Languishing — to explain all the reasons why women have been languishing for years. We’re languishing because we’re stuck in a power system of overworking, perfectionism, being Good Girls and putting on a strong mask even when we’re totally burned out and exhausted.

Well, today I am diving into another political system we are trapped under and that is the — or sucking it up — that so many amazing, talented, star-powered women like you get stuck in stagnation and languishing rather than taking the risks — or, what I call Brave Yes Leaps — needed to show up more authentically and aligned in this unique journey of being human.

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When You're Tired of Being Strong and There is No Other Option

What is Good Girl Syndrome and How Do You Know if You Suffer From It?

There is no doubt that from the time we are born, being a Good Girl is instilled in us. It’s in every conversation and every parenting guideline.

We move through the world teaching girls to be good. (Boys as well, but under a different set of oppressive Good Child expectations.)

This is a fine line in parenting but as you grow up and become an adult it’s easy to feel the Good Child conflict within and it may be showing up for you more and more as you get older and start to see how being The Good Girl is exhausting and driving your perfectionism stress.

Read this episode here:

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Resources mentioned in this episode: Overworking https://shawnfink.com/the-exhausting-politics-of-overworking-and-overdoing/

Perfectionism: https://shawnfink.com/destruction-of-perfectionism/

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Last week, I talked about the politics of overworking and overdoing as part of my series called The Politics of Languishing, a multi-article look into the reason women have been languishing between survival mode and thriving for years.

Now, I want to talk about overworking’s very close cousin — perfectionism.

Nearly every woman I talk to says, proudly, she’s a perfectionist.

That’s not surprising. Calling ourselves perfectionists has become a bit of a self-indulgent way to describe one’s self.

However, being a perfectionist can be dangerous and unhealthy.

But first, let’s dive into how we became so obsessed with perfectionism.

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Women are utterly exhausted. And, if what I believe is true — that women have been languishing for years — it’s worth it to dive into the political — small p political — traps that have led to the feeling that women cannot seem to do anything to get ahead. This series will go under the hood of the everyday political structures that my clients — and myself — have experienced that keep women feeling trapped and stuck in exhaustion and in being unable to make as much progress as they wish they could. The goal is to highlight some of these power structures and start to lean in to change them for yourself and for others.

KEY SUMMARY POINTS

Work is in this article is defined as anything that is not pleasure or joy.

Breaking down the many layered baggage of work ethic is often a part of the coaching work I do with my high achiever clients who lean toward perfectionism and people pleasing.

The tethered relationship we have with technology has played a role in our overwork that leads to extreme exhaustion.

Capitalism is another part of the power structure to which we feel tied to this constant state of work.

Overworking is actually causing deaths. Surprising new studies show that people who work more than 54 hours a week are at serious risk of dying from overwork.

Are you trapped in Toxic Productivity mode? This is a constant state of needing to improve yourself or your life and not ever feeling satiated by those attempts.

3 ways to fight back against overworking and toxic productivity.

A fun yet powerful action to take TODAY to help bring ease to all.

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Are you languishing or flourishing?’

In a New York Times article by writer Adam Grant that went viral in April, we all nodded our heads at the fact that, yes, indeed we are languishing right now in the messy middle of this long, drawn out global pandemic.

Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Wharton and author of books such as Originals and Give and Take as well as host of the TedX podcast WorkLife, wrote in this article that we are all languishing, which he defines as the following:

“Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness.”

Like most, I felt a big YES when I read this … that is how I am feeling. I am not used to languishing. In fact, 2020 was my best year ever for many personal and professional reasons.

But 2021 has been less than thrilling for many reasons. At times it has felt exhausting and depressing.

Grant wrote in his article: “Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.”

So I resonated with his belief that we are languishing.

Until I got to thinking more about my own research for an upcoming project and sat with the idea … and then it occured to me.

Let's work together to help you build your #BraveYes path! https://shawnfink.com/soul-shine

How To Journey Toward Wholeness by Shawn Fink

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