Bravo Breakdowns

Michele & Lauren recap "The Valley" Episodes 2 and 3—aka the emotional obstacle course no one asked for but we’re all addicted to.

In Episode 2, Jax finally is sent to work-ordered rehab, perhaps never to return (except we know he leaves 2 weeks early)

And Episode 3 is filled with savage delights as the battle between Jesse and Michele heats up-Jesse claims his ex-wife/co-parent is a mid-priced call girl at Janet's birthday at a Dave & Busters (and she doesn't like really deny it even?)

Are Jesse and Michele the modern day Liz and Dick? Comment below if you agree.

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Michele & Lauren recap "The Valley" Episode 4—aka the one where podcast Michele falls in love with Jesse.

In The Valley Season 2, Episode 4, the gang heads to Santa Barbara for some “healing,” but it turns into a group therapy session run by chaos and wine. Jax is in rehab but still manages to text Brittany like he's auditioning for a role in as her ex husband sooner rather than later. Jesse tries to win back Michelle with a peace flag, but she treats it like he handed her a wet sock. Meanwhile, Zack and Janet patch things up with tears and hugs—until Zack remembers he’s still mad and throws some passive-aggressive glitter.

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Lauren and Michele are back from a break(down) with a bite-sized "The Baldwins" recap! It's half the length of this terrible seventh episode, way funnier, and only half as deranged.

The penultimate episode of the series brings a few fun revelations:

• Carmen creates experimental skin-care and tests it on the baby to keep her looking young
• As we suspected, Hilaria is ready for 10 year old Carmen to start earning her keep and set up a book deal for her
• Alec has an "assistant" named Emily who is really just a version of Ireland he pays to laugh at his jokes and listen to his acting stories and pretend not to hate him
• Hilaria admits to her "lift" job but insists that her meat is all-natural
• Hilaria's new book blames her accent faking on ADHD!

Plus LOTS of complaining that these Baldwins continue to pretend for 20 minutes an episode that Alec MUST decide to return to acting because the screen NEEDS him!

Instead of being honest that Alec's career is over and he's completely washed up and uninsurable!

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Michele and Lauren are joined by chaos connoisseur Ellory Smith to break down The Valley Season 2 premiere — Jax is still in denial, Janet sucks, like a lot, and Lauren & Michele defend being "Jesse's Girls".

There’s a terrible white party, an even worse intervention style party at Jax's, and Doute is the voice of reason. These actually may be the best days of our lives.

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Lauren and Michele recap perhaps the funniest episode of the Baldwins yet! (Note: we had some technical difficulties during this episode, so apologies; but what was lost in sound quality was made up for in laughter!)

This episode of the Baldwins was all about B-roll close-ups of dog pee and poop on a level reality TV has never seen before.

We meet Mocachino and Cappuccino and the 6 terrifying Baldwin cats, plus dog trainer Gail who is a nice middle aged lesbian who is as overstimulated as we are.

We also go back and forth in this episode about who is worse- are we Team Alec because Hilaria is playing games with a confused elderly man's mind?

Or are we Team Hilaria because every single episode has been all about Alec because he is so self-obsessed he can't have a conversation about anyone else?

Find out all this and more on this episode- plus our "The Valley Season 2" bingo cards (available on our IG!) and next week, our Valley S2 Premiere Recap!

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Our "The Baldwins" recaps have been hailed by Youtube as "funny", "good", and "made me pity your poor husbands" (pretty sure that one was from Alec Baldwin himself)

And now we are bringing our recaps of episodes 3, 4, and 5 to your earholes! Like Lauren and Michele, you too can delight in the madness of this loco familia!

Tune in to hear what Hilaria thinks "codeswitching" is, Alec's hilariously offensive "OCD" storyline, and a couples therapy session that made us want to crawl out of our skin, and the hilariously bizarre activities and meals of the Baldwin clan.

Oh, and let’s not forget 10-year-old Carmen bringing over a very dynamic friend to discuss Europe and nails—because why not?

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Lauren and Michele are back and we’re diving into the wild ride that is Lisa and Lenny Hochstein! From their picture-perfect marriage to Lenny's "oops" moment with infidelity, we break down the chaos, the glamour, and the drama. And of course, we’ve got special guest Oliver Sims IV, who’ll share his thoughts on how celebs survive the circus that is their love lives. It's a juicy, fun episode you won't want to miss!

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Michele and Lauren are joined by extra special and super hilarious guest, Pallavi Gunalan (Netflix is a Joke, Facial Recognition Comedy) to discuss the scariest gal on any island, especially Manhattan, Kelly Bensimon.

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The Bravo Breakdowns girls are back continue their deep dive on everyone's fake Spanish woman and recapping episode 2 of "The Baldwins" . We have so much to cover on this one, pepinos.

Or watch a video version of the Deep Dive on YT (recap drops Monday!) Link here:

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@BravoBreakdowns⁠

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The Bravo Breakdowns girls are back to do a deep dive on the fake Spanish woman who brought us together, Hilaria, and her truly deranged new reality show, "The Baldwins" and strap in, because we've got mucho, mucho stuff to cover.

• First, a little Oscars catch-up (0:07)
• Then, an intro to the deep lore on the fascinatingly pathological Hilaria Baldwin (4:12)
• Starting with her birth and background (spoiler: not Spanish) (9:50)
• Then, the 2 yoga sex cults Hilaria escaped (15:20)
• Alec and his awful ways (20:26)
• When Alec met Hilaria (28:00)

• Recap of Episode 1 of "The Baldwins" - (39:32)

Tune in next Tuesday for Part 2!

Or watch a video version of the Deep Dive on YT (recap drops Monday!) Link here:

https://www.youtube.com/@BravoBreakdowns

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