Bravo & The Brits

The ladies head to "Bethenny" for Ashley's solid 6/10 seaside hosting experience in which two extras from Fawlty Towers serve up a meal of creamed asparagus and mediocrity. Key takeaways: Katie's eye roll is our mood for 2020, find out who would get willingly taken to the Candy Shop (frilly apron optional) and Gizelle exposes her vulnerability with a deeply relatable story about gut health.

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As we head deeper into the uncanny valley of semi-quarantined televisual production, Faith and Lou contemplate the 'battered wife' aspect of Ramona and Sonja's relationship and stan Rob in equal measure. Key takeaways: Only 3 things in life are unavoidable: Ramona being selfish, death and taxes, mayonnaise-phobia is real and Sonja's true calling as a puppet-master reveals itself and suddenly everything makes sense again.

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Follow Bravo & The Brits: @BravoAndTheBrits

Karen takes it upon herself to substitute Rayvin in for Ashley Darby - pass the baton (or hot pink stun gun) of high Potomac society on - so to speak. Key takeaways: Lou contemplates pheromones ruining her lockdown virtual romance, Faith struggles to come to terms with the Darby's chaotic interview process and Gizelle's ill-advised fringe is the most unwelcome guest at the Yacht Party (aside from Michael's boxers... but at least they weren't tighty-whiteys.)

Follow Faith: @faithh_elisabeth / www.FaithRichardson.co.uk

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Karen takes etiquette to new heights in a 2004 Cessna, Katie continues to cement her plot point on the hot-crazy matrix and Ashley turns 27. Key takeaways: Charisse might not be a terrible person after all (but she does need to invest in some garden furniture), Robyn's finances come under scrutiny and CATS the Movie comes to life in a mid-range cocktail bar.

Follow Faith: @faithh_elisabeth / www.FaithRichardson.co.uk

Follow Lou: @louisagrogers / www.LouisaRogers.net

Tinsdale runs off into the sunset in her Moncler full-length puffer, and we, unlike Dorinda, wish her nothing but the best in the house that coupons bought. Key takeaways: Blood Manor is scary, but nowhere near as scary as Tinsley's dogs in tutus, we reflect on Stassi's fall from (dis)grace and Rob seizing that deceased houseplant by the trunk has us feeling worryingly giddy.

Follow Faith: @faithh_elisabeth / www.FaithRichardson.co.uk

Follow Lou: @louisagrogers / www.LouisaRogers.net

Katie's need to breed reaches a cringe-inducing peak in today's episode (but who can blame the girl?), and Ashley hosts a lo-fi whiskey tasting but manages to win over the women with her good graces. Key takeaways: Faith's prom was a distinctly unemotional affair (and Lou's nearly ended in a catfight?!), Rayvin has great taste when it comes to gowns and it becomes (even more) clear that we are terrible people, willing to forgive Juan for his transgressions on account of his striking good looks.

Follow Faith: @faithh_elisabeth / www.FaithRichardson.co.uk

Follow Lou: @louisagrogers / www.LouisaRogers.net

Just when you thought table-manners couldn't get any worse, the carbs start flying as Tinsley's nerves get increasingly a-frayed. Key takeaways: we wonder if there are any dogs trained to herd cougars rather than sheep, Sonja's fun party girl persona is being continuously chipped away at by her obnoxiousness and Lou gets too involved in the hypothetical dramaturgic considerations for Luann's cabaret producer's unseen masterpiece.

Follow Faith: @faithh_elisabeth / www.FaithRichardson.co.uk

Follow Lou: @louisagrogers / www.LouisaRogers.net

Gizelle and Karen's confrontation escalates poolside as Charisse adds fuel to the flames. We then go on to meet Ashley and Michael Darby, the austro-American couple with one of the least functional marriages on Bravo (and that's saying something!). Key takeaways: Lou reveals her penchant for long-faced men, Katie's Rabbi nearly pulls a 'Wonderwall' on her naming ceremony, and Faith resists the urge to google spoilers to stretch out the lockdown viewing-bliss.

Follow Faith: @faithh_elisabeth / www.FaithRichardson.co.uk

Follow Lou: @louisagrogers / www.LouisaRogers.net

Follow Bravo & The Brits / @BravoAndTheBrits

Newport serves as the setting for a whirlwind clambake, fuelled by vodka sodas and lobster.  Key takeaways: Lou's lockdown life takes a turn for the Best Western, Ramona's true reptilian form can only stay hidden for so long, and Elys continues to be as non-existent as the ladies' commitments to a seat-belt.

Follow Faith: @faithh_elisabeth / www.FaithRichardson.co.uk

Follow Lou: @louisagrogers / www.LouisaRogers.net

We have decided to delve into the Real Housewives of Potomac from the very beginning - we decided that Sydney was too close to home in terms of hair extensions and bad fake tans. Key takeaways: Ray might be the black Bill Gates, but he's channelling the personal style of someone in middle management for an insurance broker, a crab boil is a ritual murder dressed up as social function and Lou wistfully ponders a missed DC connection made on a plane.

Follow Faith: @faithh_elisabeth / www.FaithRichardson.co.uk

Follow Lou: @louisagrogers / www.LouisaRogers.net