For so many who have experienced trauma, getting stuck in a cycle of blame can feel like the only way to process painful emotions. However, as life coach Joel Elston explains in a thought-provoking conversation with host Walt Thiessen, blame ultimately becomes a "sticking mechanism" that prevents true healing and growth.

Joel shares his experience counseling clients stuck reliving past wrongs done to them. While understanding origins is important, he emphasizes that "blame keeps you stuck in the historical event" rather than taking action. As Walt questions why assigning fault seems so crucial to therapists, Joel agrees it implies someone must be to blame rather than focusing on emotional release.

This was exemplified in Joel's work with a young abuse survivor constantly rehashing traumatic details to no resolution. When Walt asks what blame provides, Joel struggles to find value beyond knowing "that's not where we want to go." Both men see how useless prolonged blame is.

Through personal stories of overcoming addiction and legal troubles, Joel demonstrates how radical responsibility empowered him. When charged with felony theft after years running from his problems, Joel's blunt honesty surprised his public defender and judge. Despite pleading guilty, the judge commended Joel's "integrity," validating his decision to fully accept responsibility.

Walt notes how seeking superficial validation through blame is hollow compared to Joel's real validation. For those willing to consider life beyond blame, Joel offers the transformative potential of radical responsibility - understanding origins but prioritizing action to heal oneself, not depend on others' faults. His message challenges traditional therapy but inspires by proving one can break dysfunctional cycles and help others do the same.

Episode page: https://www.loatoday.net/loa2031

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