In this April Fools edition - Brian Sommer and I used to criticize vendor ranking and evaluation firms. No longer - there's gold in them thar hills, and we're getting our piece. There's a role for you here too. Join us as we unveil a unique proprietary system to unlock the keys to successful enterprise software projects, powered by an algorithm that has intimidated even  the most experienced data scientists we've shown it to. Note: you can check the slides from this one, including the trapezoid pic, on the youtube.com/jonathanwreed video replay.