Breaking the Cycle: Addressing the Needs of Foster Children - Jenell Jones

"Love isn't enough. We can't just love these kids out of the abuse and neglect." - Jenell Jones

Jenell Jones, a mother of seven, had faced her fair share of challenges as a foster and adoptive parent. But when she welcomed eight-year-old Mercy into her family, little did she know the unexpected twists that awaited her. As she unraveled the undisclosed severe mental health issues that plagued Mercy, Jenell was thrown into a world of overwhelming obstacles. This gripping journey will leave you questioning the foster care system's ability to provide comprehensive support for vulnerable children like Mercy.

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In this episode, you will be able to:

• Explore the labyrinth of trials faced by parents adopting from the foster care system.

• Highlight the chinks in the mental health armature causing a dearth of understanding and support.

• Appreciate the significance of clear disclosure in the convolutions of the adoption process.

• Comprehend the deep-seated impact of trauma and mental health issues on those in the system.

• Discover the critical need for all-encompassing support measures for past foster children.

My special guest is Jenell Jones

Introducing Jenell Jones - a remarkable woman who's deftly maneuvered the complex realities of parenting seven children, including two adopted ones. Her unique parenting journey led her to write Shattered, a memoir that recounts her family's moving story around her youngest adopted child, Mercy. Having traversed 21 foster placements and with undisclosed mental health challenges, Mercy's narrative opened Jenell's eyes to the triumphs and trials of foster care and adoption. As an advocate for foster and adoptive parents, Jenell wants to empower others navigating a similar journey, letting them know that they are not alone.

The resources mentioned in this episode are:

• Read Jenell Jones' memoir Shattered to gain a deeper understanding of the joys and challenges of parenting traumatized children: https://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Jenell-M-Jones-M-Ed/dp/B0BWSCKZS6

• Seek out resources and support networks for foster and adoptive parents, such as support groups, therapy, and educational programs. Join our APtitude support group for adoptive and foster parents here: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude

• Connect with Jenell through her website: JenellJones.com

Need for Change and Support We need a system overhaul, with comprehensive support systems, more resources, and changes in policies. The profound impact of trauma on children, as well as their families, highlights the urgency to reform current practices. Reflecting on her experiences, Jenell Jones firmly believes change is necessary. She stresses the need for conversation about systemic faults and for a range of stakeholders to come together for a holistic solution. Advocating for a more robust support system, Jenell's experiences serve as a clear calling for change.

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Other Resources:

 

• APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude

• Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 

• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

• Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/

 

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

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Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

www.UnravelingAdoption.com

 

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Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction, Beth Syverson introduces the podcast episode and the guest, Jenell Jones, a mother of seven kids, including two adopted children. They discuss Jenell's memoir, Shattered, which aims to help foster and adoptive parents understand the challenges of parenting traumatized children. 00:01:15 - Life Before Mercy, Beth and Jenell talk about Jenell's family before adopting Mercy. With a large family and routines in place, they were navigating through life with their other children who were getting older. 00:02:23 - The Decision to Foster and Adopt Mercy, Jenell shares that she initially didn't want to add to her family, but after meeting a little girl at church, she and her husband decided to bring her in. They didn't expect the challenges that would come with adopting an 8-year-old with undisclosed serious mental health issues. 00:05:16 - Undisclosed History and Separation, Jenell reveals that the foster agency and state knew Mercy's complete history, including 21 foster placements and a twin brother who was separated from her. However, this information was not disclosed to Jenell and her family, causing them to navigate through Mercy's issues without the necessary knowledge and support. 00:08:56 - Nondisclosure and the Impact on the Family, The lack of disclosure regarding Mercy's extensive abuse and mental health issues had a significant impact on Jenell family. 00:14:45 - Frustration with Lack of Understanding, The guest and host discuss their experiences with mental health issues in their children and express frustration with professionals who lack knowledge and understanding about trauma and attachment. 00:16:30 - Lack of Advocacy for Children, The conversation highlights the limited information and lack of advocates for children in the system, preventing the truth from coming out and hindering meaningful change. 00:18:03 - Growing Problems in the System, The guest discusses the alarming statistics of foster children ending up in prison or homeless and emphasizes the need to address the problems within the system. 00:20:33 - Importance of Having Difficult Conversations, The host and guest stress the importance of having open and honest conversations about the challenges faced by foster and adoptive children, and the need for real solutions and resources. 00:22:43 - Need for Change and Support, The conversation emphasizes the need for resources and support for adoptive and foster families, especially for the other children in the home who may also be traumatized. The guest shares her hope for change and the importance of prioritizing the well-being of these children. 00:29:11 - The Importance of Love and Self-Care Love and unconditional care are essential for children in the foster care system, but it's also crucial for foster parents to practice self-care and seek therapy to cope with the challenges. The goal is to make a positive impact on the child's life and society. 00:30:00 - The Motive Behind Foster Parenting Foster parenting should not be driven by monetary gain. While love is necessary, it's not enough to heal children from abuse and neglect. Foster parents need to be prepared for a challenging journey and fight for the child's dignity and worth. 00:31:24 - Recognizing the Seriousness of Foster Parenting Foster parenting is not a casual part-time job. It requires a commitment to fight for the child's well-being and navigate complex systems. Lives are at stake, and it's not a task for the faint of heart. 00:32:20 - The Limitations of State Insurance for Foster Children State insurance often fails to cover the necessary therapeutic interventions for foster children. The lack of funding for deep therapy and attachment therapy can hinder a child's progress and limit their potential for healing. 00:35:11 - Trusting Your Gut and Advocating for Foster Children Foster parents should trust their instincts and seek professional help when they notice red flags or concerning behaviors in their foster children. It's crucial to keep communication open and continue telling their stories until they find someone who listens and understands.