Ellianna was born prematurely in a county hospital in Portland, OR, in 1968. She had been relinquished at birth, so she stayed in the hospital alone for several weeks. Foster care stepped in for a week, and then she went to her adopted family, where there was another adopted child that was 2 years older. 

Ellianna moved around a lot as a child, and as an adopted child, this added to the feeling of not belonging anywhere. Adoption was not something talked about much in the home, but both children knew they were adopted.

At the age of 24, she met both of her birth parents and much extended family on both sides. This began the long, arduous journey of healing her wounds and finding where she belongs.

Ellianna moved in with her birth mother and grandmother one month after reunion and proceeded to start trying to find a way to fit into her newly forming identity. It has been a roller coaster ride of forging new families and dealing with the issues from the one she grew up in. No one could have prepared her for the long, winding road she has taken, but with it all, she has found peace and the belonging she desired.

The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson

Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Because She Was Adopted by Kristal Parke

Dear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika Rouda

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Becky is a scientist, mother, wife, and baby scoop era adoptee who lives with her husband and biological daughter in Oregon. She was born in California, separated from her very young mother at birth, and adopted at 6 weeks by a married couple struggling to have their second biological child. Comfortably raised, she always knew she was adopted, special, and “chosen”. Her adoption was closed, and the birth certificate remains sealed.

In 1993, with the help of her adopted sister and a document listing her birth name that her adopted father had been given by accident, Becky found and contacted her birth mother, who welcomed her warmly. They have been in reunion since that time. The person thought to be her biological father reportedly struggled after serving in Vietnam, was difficult to find, and passed away before any contact was made. At peace with the understanding that she would never meet him, Becky was astonished when, in late 2023, a DNA match emerged indicating that a different person was her biological father and that he was alive. Becky located and met her actual biological father in early 2024.

Since the shocking revelation about her “new” father and the rewriting of the narrative around her birth, Becky has been exploring and questioning the dominant social paradigm around adoption. She now has a very different perspective about the nature of choice, reproductive equity, who is a worthy mother in our society, and basic rights around identity. Even though the fog had not yet lifted at the time of her daughter’s birth, Becky never considered adopting. Having a baby at the ripe old age of 42 is not always successful, but she knew “choosing” someone else’s child was not her solution.

The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson

Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Because She Was Adopted by Kristal Parke

Dear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika Rouda

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Chris Williams was born in Downtown Los Angeles at Queen of Angels Hospital and adopted when he was just a few months old. His journey has been anything but conventional, marked by resilience, reinvention, and a pursuit of purpose. In 2020, Chris moved to Santa Barbara to earn his bachelor’s degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, which he proudly achieved at age 35.

While in Santa Barbara, Chris pursued a lifelong dream: stand-up comedy. What began as a passion project evolved into the start of a blossoming career, earning him recognition as an award-winning comic. Through his comedy, Chris masterfully blends humor and heart, often sharing personal stories, including his adoption experience, to connect with audiences on a deeper level. For Chris, comedy isn’t just about laughs—it’s about community, connection, and creating spaces where people can share their experiences and feel seen.

Chris is excited to join the conversation about adoption, offering a unique perspective shaped by his life and his commitment to bringing people together. You can connect with him on Instagram at @crwspeaks.

The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Christine is an adoptee born in January of 1972, at the tail end of the baby scoop era. She was adopted in March of that year through Catholic Family Charities. Her mother had bought a book that explained how a family adopts a child in a very simplistic way. In fact, until the age of seven, she thought that all children were adopted. It wasn’t until a friend’s mother got pregnant that she realized there was another way to have a baby. Her mother explained to her that she was special—that she was chosen.

Growing up, the subject of her adoption was not spoken of in her household. She had been told at a young age that she was her parents’ child and that they would not discuss the matter of her adoption. She rarely told anyone about it, not even her closest friends. Christine never searched for her birth family. She knew it would make her parents unhappy and was scared about what she might find out. As they got older, her children’s curiosity about their actual ethnicity led her to Ancestry DNA. Two years later, after receiving the results, Christine received an email through Ancestry. It stated, “I believe that you are my niece. That would be so wonderful.”

The next few months were a process of meeting her birth mother, Pat, two half-brothers, and her maternal birth family. She found out that Pat was 16 when she got pregnant. She had been sent to a home for unwed mothers and gave birth to Christine two weeks after her 17th birthday. Pat was supposed to relinquish her parental rights after Christine’s birth but refused to do so. Christine was placed in foster care for two months until Pat realized it was a losing battle and signed the relinquishment papers. For years, Pat slept with Christine’s picture under her pillow.

Christine and Pat had the opportunity to meet and get to know one another. They were developing a relationship when Pat succumbed to cancer, only 18 months after their reunion. Christine remains in contact with her brothers, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Today, Christine lives in Connecticut with her partner, Rob. Between them, they are fortunate to share four boys and a girl. She holds a Doctorate of Nursing Practice and works as a full-time Professor of Nursing.

The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Angela Tucker is a Black transracial adoptee and the author of "You Should Be Grateful:" Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption, published in April 2023 by Beacon Press. Her search for her biological family was featured in the documentary CLOSURE, which premiered on Netflix in 2015. In 2022, Angela founded the non-profit Adoptee Mentoring Society, offering virtual mentorship for adoptees worldwide. With 15 years of experience in child welfare, she has appeared on CNN, Red Table Talk, The New Yorker, and more, advocating for adoptees.

When she's not working to amplify adoptee voices, you can find her at the spa, on the basketball court, or hostessing at Jazz Alley. She drinks a London Fog nearly every single day, and is currently debating the importance of kicking this sugary (but, oh-so-delicious) habit. Angela lives in Seattle, Washington with her Emmy Award-winning spouse, Bryan Tucker.

To find Angela: https://www.angelatucker.com/

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker 

Closure - Angela Tucker Documentary

Our Next Book: Season 10 : The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Dr. Santo D. Marabella, born in a Catholic orphanage in Aosta, Italy, and flown to the United States just one week shy of his first birthday, was one of over 3700 Italian-born children adopted by Italian American parents between 1951 and 1969. Known as the “Baby Scoop” era, tens of thousands of Italian unwed mothers were forced to give their children up for adoption, leaving behind generations of children devastated by their perceived abandonment.

Though he was the treasured only child of his adoptive parents, Santo was bullied by his peers and struggled from an early age to fit in and connect with others. Growing up, the realization that he was gay further deepened this isolation, straining his relationship with the Church to which he was so dedicated and the parents he so loved (though his parents’ acceptance came quickly). Despite self-doubt and fear, he refused to be stopped. He tried harder and achieved more, carving out a life as a caregiver, educator, writer, and artist. But he was still on the outside. In this episode, Santo talks about his “journey to belonging” that he recently embarked on and where it is taking him!

Il Mio Posto A Tavola - (My Place at The Table) -Documentary by Santo D. Marabella

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker 

Closure - Angela Tucker Documentary

Our Next Book: The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Placed for adoption through a West Texas county children’s home, Sharla is a “Baby Scoop”-era adoptee. Sharla’s biological mother moved across the state to live with her older sister and family until the time of Sharla’s birth. On the day Sharla was born, a married couple who applied to adopt was contacted. Several days later, with their 9-year-old son in tow, they drove an hour to come for her at the children’s home. She grew up in a fairly typical family and home. Always having known she was adopted, as is often the narrative, she has no memory of ever being told. The subject was never discussed, although she did know her parents had NonID information and an “adoption papers” folder. For the majority of her life, her adoption didn’t seem important to her or anyone else. 
In 2019, the secrets and undisclosed information of the past 51 years suddenly began to come to light. Unbeknownst to Sharla, her 23andMe DNA kit would soon reveal a close relative via an email. Suddenly, she could decide if she wanted to know the truth about her biological heritage. She later expressed to her husband that in all the years she had said it didn’t matter to her, that was true. However, she explained that when you spend decades believing there’s no way to ever learn the truth, you may convince yourself that it’s not important. 
With the encouragement of her husband and children, she is building new relationships. She has also enjoyed a long-overdue, warm, and loving reunion with her maternal aunt, who initially considered adopting her and was there to see her the day she was born. 
Despite some rejection along the way, loving and seeking out people and relationships hasn’t become any less of a priority for Sharla. This 5-year journey has helped her recognize how being adopted didn’t define her, but it has shaped and affected her. She is a recovering people-pleaser, has begun to realize that it is not her role to make everything and everyone okay, and is currently finding peace with the “what-ifs."

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker 

JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Rebeccah Carlson is a transracial adoptee born in Georgia and raised in the Midwest. Growing up, she often felt a sense of disenfranchised grief and longed for information about her origins. In her late twenties, Rebeccah began a journey of self-discovery which led to reunion with her birth family. This experience helped start the process of mending her fractured identity and deepened her understanding of the broader realities of adoption.

Since then, Rebeccah has found greater healing by publicly sharing her story with others. From podcasts to news articles, Rebeccah has openly explored her lived experience in effort to grow, recover, and transform. Her mission is to create space for authentic conversations related to adoption, identity, and belonging, ensuring other adoptees feel validated in their unique journeys. Rebeccah has also enjoyed volunteering for adoption-related causes, most recently ending her multi-year tenure as Board Chair of the Adoptee Mentoring Society. She lives in Phoenix, Arizona.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker 

Closure - Angela Tucker Documentary

JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Jill was conceived in Washington and born in Texas, adopted at birth during the Baby Scoop era, in a closed-file adoption through Home of the Holy Infancy to a same-race couple who was infertile. They had adopted a baby boy but he wasn’t as promised. Before they could return to the well to get the baby girl they always wanted, the nuns miraculously placed her with her new parents on Christmas Eve! The nuns who decided her fate believed in genetic mirroring matching her to people with similar demographics. They did that for all their babies, playing chess with their lives. When Jill was two, her adoptive father died. 

When she was four, her mother remarried the only daddy she ever knew, a widower with six kids. She lived in a big blended family, rich in love, heritage, and tradition. 

Jill always knew she was adopted but completely disassociated from it. Talk about FOG, she was in DEEP. Her mother tried to turn her story into a fairytale that her birth mother loved her very much but she still couldn’t keep her. 

Jill knew nothing of her origin until she was 57 years old! Now, pushing 60, she has learned many things about her paternal and maternal sides. Her maternal grandpa even had a 2nd secret family. She figured this out all thanks to DNA, which provided her mother’s name which was the key to everything. That was then used to obtain her original birth certificate, and court records, and get the adoption agency files unsealed for cause!

In reunion since that fateful phone call in June of 2022, she has continued to forge a path forward with all who are interested. 

Jill isn’t needy. That’s the worst! She is grateful not because she should be but because she is. Never putting all kidding aside, she’s constantly joking. She hopes you read between the lines above to see her beautiful pain. She isn’t bitter! Not anymore. This is what is. Adoption, what a wild ride!

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker 

JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Born in 1970 in Iowa, Mike was adopted at just 10 days old. His adoptive father passed away in 1972, leaving Mike and his family to navigate life without him. From an early age, Mike felt a profound curiosity about his biological roots and has spent much of his life searching for answers.

The journey to uncover his origins has been full of unexpected twists and turns, leading to the discovery of many biological family members—some of whom have been an incredible blessing and others a more complex addition to his story. Through it all, Mike has learned not only about his family but also about himself and the resilience required to embrace both the joy and challenges of reunion.

Mike continues to explore and reflect on what family means while finding strength in the connections he’s built. He lives in Iowa and remains passionate about sharing his journey with others navigating similar paths.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker 

Closure - Angela Tucker Documentary

JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.