Adoptees On

292 | Shelby Redfield Kilgore

Shelby Redfield Kilgore is a Korean adoptee and filmmaker. You can watch her documentaries and videos on YouTube alongside 800,000 other folks who’ve already had the pleasure. We talk about Shelby’s passion for sharing adoptee stories and how that shifted in tone over the years. We also talk about her health struggles and the impacts those have had on her reunions and motherhood.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

291 | Kae Wangare Leonard

Today we welcome Kae Wangare Leonard to the show. Kae is a writer, athlete and artist, born and adopted in Kenya by white Americans. She shares some of her story with us, including what does home mean when you’ve lived in multiple countries. We discuss what it means to be an adoption abolitionist, and we have a little disagreement whether Kae’s art, poetry and prose is therapeutic or not!

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

290 | Kristal Parke

Today’s guest is filmmaker and fellow podcaster, and fellow Canadian, Kristal Parke! Kristal is the subject of the documentary, Because She’s Adopted. Today Kristal shares some of her story with us including her non-paternal realization, her road to sobriety, her visits back to the Opaskwayak Cree Nation in Manitoba, and meeting many of her biological family members, including her biological father.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

289 | Bruce Porth Part 2

Today is part two of a two-part episode that we began last week, with our friend Bruce Porth. Today we talk a little more about reunion and what it looks like when someone is being dishonest with you, and also about using breathwork and psychedelics as healing modalities. Have you ever met one of those people that when they speak you just have to listen to every word? Bruce is one of those people for me. We hope you enjoy getting to know him better with us.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

288 | Bruce Porth Part 1

We are so fortunate to hear from Bruce Porth today; he is one of those people that only speaks when he’s got something thoughtful and insightful to share, and today’s conversation is no exception. Bruce shares about his childhood, some difficult relationship circumstances, his path to uncovering the impact adoption and family separation had on his life, and what reunion has looked like. This is part one of two, and don’t worry, next week we’ll release part two where Bruce shares more about the healing modalities he’s used, including breathwork and psychedelics.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

287 | Ande Stanley

On today’s show we’re welcoming Ande Stanley, creator and host of the podcast, The Adoption Files. Ande is a late discovery adoptee, only finding out accidentally when they were in their thirties. We talk about how that happened, and the reactions of adoptive family members to Ande finally being in on the secret everyone knew but them. We also discuss how Ande found their way to the adoptee community and how some initial bad interactions, instead of deterring them, instead lead the way to Ande becoming a community builder.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

286 | Grace Newton, MSW

Today’s guest is Grace Newton, MSW, a Chinese adoptee, author of the prolific blog, Red Thread Broken, and one of the co-authors of the Adoptee Consciousness Model. We discuss the reasons for the rise and fall of international adoption from China, and how the critical adoption scholarship of Chinese adoptees is on the rise, including Grace’s own contributions. Grace also gets more personal, sharing about her relationship with her Chinese American fiancé and how their love story and family have helped her on her racial reclamation journey.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

285 | [Healing Series] The Seven Insights into Adoptee Attachment with Pam Cordano, MFT

Today’s episode is a special episode in our Healing Series, where I interview therapists who are also adoptees themselves, so they know from personal experience what it feels like to be an adoptee. We’re joined by Pam Cordano, MFT, talking all about the seven challenges of adoptee attachment, which include profound ongoing chronic misattunement, disconnection from our instincts, and commodification.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

284 | Dr. Alice Diver

Today’s guest is the remarkable Dr. Alice Diver, law professor and outspoken adoptee advocate. Alice has written multiple journal articles and books on the topic of adoptee rights, including her latest, Genetic Stigma in Law and Literature: Orphanhood, Adoption, and the Right to Reunion. Alice shares some of her personal story with us, and then we dive into her work including language in adoption, where you’ll hear such gems as “surplus people” and “substitute families”. We also get to talk about how adoptees are viewed by the law in comparison with adoptive parents.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

283 | Cam Lee Small, MS, LPCC

We have a returning guest, adoptee therapist Cam Lee Small back with us today. Cam has a brand new book out, The Adoptee’s Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment, published by a faith-based press. I recently got to meet Cam in real life, and he’s just as warm and genuine as he appears on the Internet. In our conversation today, Cam and I talk about how most churches have majorly missed the mark in serving adoptees, we address how “gotcha day” misses the “lost-ya day” and the grief of adoption. One of my favourite things Cam shares in his book, and we do address it today, is that just being an adopted person take an extraordinary amount of cognitive and emotional bandwidth.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.