Imagine uncovering your DNA surprise, experiencing the shock and devastation that comes with it, and then learning that the surprise wasn’t a total surprise after all? Earlier this season, we heard a story like this, and in this week’s episode, you’ll hear another.

When Tamara confronted her mom about her DNA surprise, she was shocked to learn that they’d already discussed it when she was younger. For some reason the memory didn’t stick with her, and when she learned the truth,it came back to her. Yet she still had to contend with this revelation as though she was hearing it for the first time.

Tamara details her search for her biological father after being given incorrect information and facing roadblocks from her found family. Just before we recorded our interview, she got a surprise that gave her the answers she was looking for.

Thank you for sharing your story, Tamara.

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After a DNA surprise is uncovered, many moments from the past come into focus. Especially moments that, in hindsight, were missed opportunities for parents to tell the truth.

In this week’s episode, Christina shares how she uncovered her DNA surprise and how she’s feeling about seven months into her discovery. She  discusses how she’s struggling with feelings of anger at her mother, especially when she reflects on times when her mom could have disclosed the truth about who her biological father was.

Before listening to this episode, please note that there is a brief discussion about child sexual abuse that may be upsetting to listeners. If you want to avoid this content, skip over timestamps of approximately 24:00-26:00.

Thank you for sharing your story, Christina.

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As we’ve heard earlier this season, many people within the DNA surprise community saw their test results as mere confirmation of something they’d long suspected. But as heard in this week’s episode, not everyone was able to put their finger on just why they felt different.

Chaya never felt like she fit in with her family. She found solace in music and the friendships she formed in the metal scene during her rebellious teen years. Then one day, during a heated exchange with her parents, her mother revealed that the man she believed was her father was not. She pursued a relationship with the man her mom identified, only to learn even more shocking information about her paternity.

Thank you for sharing your story, Chaya.

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After three years of making this podcast and speaking to people who’ve experienced life-altering DNA surprises, I’ve noticed several trends. One trend is that oftentimes, the biological father is someone a guest knew from childhood. Another trend is a tumultuous relationship with the mother.

In this week’s episode, Kim shares her emotional journey after discovering a family secret through genealogical research. She discusses the shock and clarity that came with this revelation, her strained relationship with her mother who kept the secret, and the dynamics with her siblings and other family members who knew the truth but were sworn to secrecy. Kim also speaks candidly about her efforts to build a relationship with her biological father and how the presence of this secret created issues throughout her life. 

Kim first told her story a few years ago on NPE Stories, hosted by Lily Wood.

Listen here: Spotify or Apple

Thank you Kim, for sharing your story.

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If you’ve had a DNA surprise, how many times have you been told you should write a book? This week’s episode is a story that is truly stranger than fiction. Traci shares how, at 19, her mother revealed the truth about her paternity. This truth sent Traci reeling, but her mother insisted that she always knew the truth. Her mom went on to explain the events that led them to that moment. It’s a story straight out of a true crime novel, and Traci didn’t remember any of it.

Traci goes on to share what happened after the revelation, including how she moved forward with her parents, who married a few years after her DNA surprise.

Thank you Traci, for sharing your story.

Resources:

After the Rotting

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"I knew it!" Or,  "I had no idea." When it comes to DNA surprises, some people are completely blindsided. Others felt like they knew it all along. Danielle never felt like she fit in with her family. Her mother died when she was just three years old, and for the rest of her childhood, she was raised by her dad, who travelled often for work, and her aunt, her mother’s sister.

Danielle knew that her dad had difficulty conceiving her older half-sister with his first wife, and she questioned if they were biologically related. More than a decade after her dad died, another aunt gave her a letter he’d written to her, which described the sometimes tumultuous but genuine affection her parents had for one another - a confession of sorts? 

When she learned that her sister had taken a consumer DNA test, Danielle finally had her chance to uncover the truth. After getting her results, doing extensive research, and learning surprising information from her mother’s best friend, she finally did.

Thank you Danielle, for sharing your story.

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Black sheep. Golden child. In the DNA surprise community, these are labels we hear a lot. In this week’s episode, Sarah shares her emotional journey before, during, and after, her DNA discovery. Growing up, she never felt like she fit in, but her concerns were often dismissed. Many years later, her suspicions were confirmed–her dad, Joe was not her biological father. But she didn’t know for sure who was.

Sarah’s story also touches on the role that alcohol played within her family and in her own personal journey. She discusses why she ultimately decided to seek sobriety and create strong boundaries with her raised family, and how she’s pursuing relationships with her newfound relatives. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah.

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Welcome to season 10 of DNA Surprises. This season is jampacked with incredible stories that explore the emotional journeys of DNA discoveries. If you’ve had a DNA surprise, you’ll hear stories that you may relate to and gain inspiration from. If you haven’t had a DNA surprise, this season will continue to give you insight into the complexities of identity, family, and the human experience.

In this week’s episode, Krissy shares her long journey to uncovering her DNA surprise, when she learned that the man she believed was her biological father is not. Her surprise didn’t start with a DNA test, but rumors that she confronted her mother about, which were quickly denied. Years later, Krissy found herself staring at a photo of herself and her two brothers, and that nagging feeling returned. So she took a DNA test.

Krissy shares how the revelation affected her and her relationships and how she eventually found her biological father - along with a couple of additional DNA surprises. She also shares why she’s made the decision not to openly discuss the discovery with her parents.

Thank you for sharing your story, Krissy.

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Intergenerational trauma. It’s something we talk about a lot here. The most common cycles we discuss are the patterns of keeping secrets and the patterns of shame. In this week’s episode, you will hear a story about a cycle of NPEs. 

When Bobbi became pregnant with her third child, she knew that was not in a position to care for another baby. She relinquished her child to a family member, but kept the specific circumstances around the birth a secret - most people thought she was a surrogate.

Just a couple of years later, Bobbi was shocked when, long before consumer DNA testing, she learned that the man she’d believed was her biological father was not, and that both of her parents knew this secret her entire life.

And then there was one more. Years later, when she took a consumer DNA test, Bobbi uncovered that her mother is also an NPE, upending another long believed story.

I want to especially thank Bobbi for being open about her experience as a mother in this situation. She shares a vulnerable, honest, and empathetic perspective for all of us to consider.

Thanks again to Bobbi for sharing her story.

Bobbi’s Book: Descendant Deception

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Who would I have become if I had known the truth? How were the interactions I had throughout my life colored by an unknown truth? These are questions so many of us ask ourselves, over and over and over again.

The reality is, we will never know, no more than we would know who we would have become if we’d been born in another country. Part of the DNA surprise experience is coming to terms with this.

In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Guy, who I first interviewed back in Season 3. When we first spoke, Guy had just experienced his surprise, and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do next. One of the things that struck me was how freeing Guy found the revelation to be. 

Guy shares what’s come up for him since we first spoke, including the many ways he’s been analyzing - and reanalyzing his past. In the two years since we spoke, Guy’s come to the realization that the facts of his situation don’t matter much to him, and that all he has is now. 

PS - If you think DNA surprises are all sad all the time, this episode is a good reminder that it’s OK to laugh sometimes.

Thank you, Guy, for sharing your story.

Guy's DNA Surprise (Original episode)