For Shirley, life was a mystery with pieces that never quite fit—until a DNA test in 2001 revealed the unthinkable truth: she had been switched at birth. Raised in one family and belonging by blood to another, Shirley’s world was upended. In her memoir, The Little Dark One: A True Story of Switched at Birth, she recounts the trials and triumphs that followed, from grappling with family secrets to finding her place in a supportive community of adoptees and others with similar experiences.
When Corey and Kendall met Shirley at the Untangling Our Roots Summit, they immediately connected with her story. In a space filled with adoptees, NPEs, and donor-conceived individuals, Shirley found her tribe—people who understood the weight of family secrets and the power of shared experiences. Shirley describes the summit as “a group of nodding heads” who listened with empathy, providing the understanding she longed for but couldn’t find elsewhere.
Beyond her discovery, Shirley’s story is also about resilience and betrayal. After locating her biological family, she faced a heartbreaking betrayal when family members sold her story to tabloids. Despite this, Shirley found solace and love through her chosen family, including her beloved Aunt Mary, who welcomed her into her heritage and taught her the traditions of her roots. “DNA does not make a family, love does,” Shirley says, a mantra that has guided her through the twists and turns of her journey.
Writing The Little Dark One was a cathartic process for Shirley, bringing to light the emotions she’d buried for decades. She discovered how trauma had manifested in her physical health and found healing not only through writing but also through faith. “My body was falling apart,” she recalls, crediting therapy for saving her and helping her confront the past.
Shirley’s journey is a story of self-acceptance, healing, and the enduring strength of the human spirit. Her message resonates with all who struggle to find where they belong, reminding us that healing is possible and that sometimes, family is found where we least expect it.
Read Shirley's book, The Little Dark One: A True Story of Switched at Birth, available on Amazon and in local bookstores.
Switched at Birth, Saved by Love
Episode Summary: In this powerful episode, Corey and Kendall speak with Shirley, the courageous author of The Little Dark One: A True Story of Switched at Birth. Shirley shares her remarkable journey of self-discovery, healing, and the power of faith after uncovering a life-altering truth: she was switched at birth. Together, they dive into the emotional and physical toll of her experience, the betrayals she faced, and the strength she found through her chosen family and the community of adoptees, NPEs, and donor-conceived individuals. This episode delves deep into themes of rejection, identity, forgiveness, and the resilience it takes to turn pain into purpose.
Key Topics Discussed:
Finding Community and Belonging: Shirley recounts her experience at the Untangling Our Roots Summit, where, for the first time, she felt truly understood by people with similar stories of family twists and hidden truths.
Discovering She Was Switched at Birth: Shirley details her journey of discovery, piecing together her past and finding her biological family in the early days of DNA testing and research.
Betrayal and Resilience: The painful experience of family members selling her story to tabloids and how she learned to find strength amidst betrayal.
Faith as a Foundation: Shirley’s journey through her faith and how it provided her with solace, strength, and a foundation for healing.
Healing Through Writing: How writing The Little Dark One uncovered buried trauma and contributed to her healing, both emotionally and physically.
The Power of Chosen Family: Shirley shares touching stories of her Aunt Mary and others in her biological family who welcomed her with open arms and love, showing that family is made by love, not just DNA.
Memorable Quotes:
"DNA does not make a family, love does." – Shirley, on the profound connections found beyond biological ties.
"My body was falling apart. Therapy was saving me." – Shirley, discussing the physical toll of buried trauma and the healing process.
"It’s not about hurting anyone. It’s about helping just one person." – Shirley’s motivation for sharing her story and writing her book.
Resources Mentioned:
Shirley's book: The Little Dark One: A True Story of Switched at Birth, available on [Amazon] and local bookstores.
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, a resource that helped Shirley understand the physical impact of trauma.
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