Bri Books

Meet Evette Dionne, a black feminist culture writer, editor and scholar based in New York City. On today’s episode, we’re talking about Shonda Rhimes’s “Year of Yes,” a book both Evette and I both found both freeing and challenging. We dig into how we’re both wading through anxiety a la Shonda, and moments when Evette has said ‘YES!’ to herself, her writing, and her love. Speaking of love--if you’re loving this podcast, consider recommending it to your friend on the glow-up, or leave a rev

Hi! Welcome back to Bri Books. Once again, Happy Women’s History Month. I’m so excited about this episode. Today’s guest is JoiMarie McKenzie, author of “The Engagement Game” (OUT TODAY!) When she’s not busy writing up epic lifestyle and entertainment stories at ABCNews.com, she found the time to WRITE an AMAZING first book—and a memoir no less. In this episode, JoiMarie shares how and why she wrote her first book (a memoir), what she hopes readers to take away from it. She also shares for the first time publically her bout with depression after a relationship went south, and how she learned to be compassionate towards herself, and how a little piece of insight from singer Jill Scott got her through. I know this episode will be really interesting and informative, especially for readers who are navigating relationships with significant others, and ultimately the most important relationship of all—your relationship with yourself. Enjoy! If you’re feeling this episode, consider leaving a review.

• 4:16 – How “The Engagement Game” is like “The Odyssey”—each experience teaches something that’s useful and applicable later down the line.
• 4:40 – How JoiMarie is fighting to take consumerism out of celebrating engagements and marriage.
• 10:28 – JoiMarie on shame if an engagement goes awry: “I feel like oftentimes when things don’t work out or go our way or relationships or jobs or friendships end, we are kind of warded off into a hall of shame. Where we shouldn’t be. And I think it’s amazing how shame makes us hide.”
• 11:15 – Would JoiMarie’s character in “The Engagement Game” even be HAPPY if life had turned out how she wanted, and how JoiMarie “avoided her divorce.”
• 13:30 – JoiMarie defines “covenant spouse,” a phrase that revolutionized how I see partnership and dating: “I found out that a husband is defined in relationship his wife. But a ‘covenant spouse’ is defined by his relationship with God. It’s essentially having God at the center of your relationship. And when my godfather prayed that prayer for me, I decided that’s what I wanted.”  
• 15:55 – On the significance of being 28 years old, “the first time in life where everything seems to being going right.”
• 17:42 – On “the Saturn Return”
• 21:00 – On cultivating self-compassion, slowly.
• 23:10 – On how dating and faith influenced JoiMarie’s approach to depression
• 25:00 – JoiMarie on the disconnect between therapy and black communities of faith: “I think it is a cultural thing, but I think more so that we’re so not educated enough or comfy enough talking about it, and so you have to get to that point where it’s ok I can’t go to my home girl she doesn’t have the answers.”
• 25:51 – what interview have you done that was most informative when it comes to helping you write the book?
• 26:00 – The one interview with Jill Scott that helped JoiMarie get clear on what she wanted from love and life.
• What JoiMarie is reading: Lots of feminist theory, so tweet and Instagram her your picks with #bribooks!

Meet Jenn Mundia, singer-songwriter behind this very podcast’s intro music!  Jenn just finished Phoebe Robinson’s “You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain,” and we just HAD to talk about it. In this episode, we dig into Phoebe’s love for black girls, the EPIC moment in black women/ Shondaland TV history (“WHY IS YOUR PENIS ON A DEAD GIRL’S PHONE?!?”), the subversive power of Phoebe’s unique style of humor and relatability, and why you should never EVER engage with “Devil’s Advocate” guy on Facebook or IRL. Find Jenn’s glorious music here, and here!

 

SHOW NOTES

• 2: 49—If Jenn’s voice sounds familiar, it’s because she’s literally the first voice you hear when you open this podcast!
• 3:58 – Jenn found Phoebe’s writing style very conversational, and thoroughly 2017
• 4:10 – My thoughts on the conversational, informal style of “You Can’t Touch My Hair,” and how her writing grounds the book without dating it.
• 6:20 – Phoebe is using her writing style to set the stage for what she wants to discuss about being an actor, comedian and all-around black woman in Hollywood and beyond.
• 6:48 – Phoebe makes a point that black hair is so integral to OUR culture, and how black hair is a THING, and how the way our hair is styled can affect how people treat us, and how we think of ourselves.    
• 8:15– How Jenn resonates with Phoebe’s commentary on black hair, as a singer-songwriter-performer.
• 11:30– What Phoebe says is the single greatest moment in black woman TV history: “WHY IS YOUR PENIS ON A DEAD GIRL’S PHONE?!”
• 12:10– How removing Annaliese Keating’s wig removal on “How to Get Away with Murder” was “revealing” for Viola Davis as an actress, and gave us the greatest moment in Shondaland history.
• 13:30 – Is Jenn the “black friend” for anyone?
• 14:00 – Why Phoebe says not to become friends with any new white people in summer.
• 14:30 – My favorite way to not become the “black friend” is to NOT to keep talking to the “Devil’s Advocate Guy.”
• 14:45 – You know the “Devil’s Advocate Guy.” His posts on Facebook usually start with, “I never start with my opinions on Facebook…”  
• 15:00 – Brionna’s “Devil’s Advocate Guy” story, and how she disengaged from his shenanigans (TRIGGER WARNING: We discuss the N-word from 13:45-17:30i)
• 17:45 – Jenn’s OPP recommendations: “The Black Guy Who Tips” because it’s “super informative and ratchet”; “Another Round” because it’s great to see black girls thriving; “Storycorps” for the amazing interviews of families and friends interviewing each other.
• 18:45 – My book rec for Jenn is Issa Rae’s “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl.”

17:55 – Find Jenn Mundia at jennmundia.com and on Facebook, Instagram, iTunes.

Happy Women’s History Month! What better way to kick off the month than with….chatting all things vagina. Fellow traveller Nichelle was reading “Pussy: A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer over breakfast one morning, and we began a conversation about the vagina, shame, self-knowledge, and much more. Enjoy this bonus episode of Bri Books, just in time for Women’s History Month. If you’re loving the show, write a review of the podcast on iTunes!

  

Show Notes

• 0:20 - On the poignancy of celebrating Black History and Women’s History back to back
• 0:45 - Welcome to Women’s History Month on Bri Books! In March, all episodes will feature and be about women in different industries and interests.
• 2:40 - Meet Nichelle (@inspire1824), a medical social worker celebrating her 50th birthday year in Bali. Nichelle makes a point to spend every big 0 birthday abroad, and this was the most wonderful place she could think to travel. She loves to read sci fi, fiction, mysteries.
• 4:30 - “Pussy” was a gift to Nichelle from a friend, born out of honest (albeit awkward) conversation among girlfriends. They talked honestly, about what the book is, the body, and how the author discusses bodies.
• 5:30 - The book focuses a lot on understanding where your beliefs come from--looking back on how you were taught to look at your body and vagina, and how you were taught to take care of and look at it and how to reconnect.
• 6:40 - Define: “Pussy” v. “vagina”
• Nichelle’s reading: More Octavia Spencer, and hopefully more writing
• I’m reading: A Children’s Illustrated History of Korea
• Nichelle on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/inspire1824/

I recorded this episode while vacationing in Bali (!!),in between surfing lesson and a delicious authentic Balinese dinner. While there, I broke down my “Transformational Reading” reading list, and what’s helping me be more strategic and get better quality reading time. I want to make my reading as intentional as possible--reading for transformation, not just information. So each quarter I’m reading a transformative  book to develop a working knowledge of different topics.

 

• 2:25: Q1: “The Ultimate Small Business” My goal is, if I watch or engage with anything small business-related, I’m not hung up on the vocabulary and technicalities--this book will help me gain a certain fluency (or at least comfort hearing the language) of business.
• 3:30: A bit of my briCandles founder’s story: What started as creative personalized gifts (my candles) has become an online shop, with nowhere to go but up!
• 4:42: I partnered with friend and founder of “Gabby’s Nice Things” lotion to sell candle and lotion combo boxes for Christmas. We did an extraordinary job, and the process alone was so eye-opening. I want to make sure that at every turn, I’m learning and getting my hands on transformational new information.
• 5:30 Q2: “The Motley Fool Investment Guide for Teens.” I learned about this book from the Think and Grow Chick Courtney Sanders. She has amazing resources when it comes to understanding money and how to make it work for you.
• 6:15 Why I’m buying book for cousins: I want to understand how to build knowledge of wealth, how to create value and create wealth and it’s something I want to pass on to my cousins/ next generation.
• 7:50: Q3: “How to Cook Everything” by Mark Bittman. I’m excited to learn the basics of how to make good food.I want to understand the basic art and science behind feeding myself and feeding others. Excited to read it this summer with my CSA!
• 9:08: Q4: “Effective Project Management.” This book was thrifted to me by someone who had just completed their MBA.  I’m becoming the best team member I can be and the best leader I can be.

Recap:

Q1: “The Ultimate Small Business Guide”

Q2: “The Motley Fool’s Guide to Investing”

Q3:  “How To Cook Everything”

Q4:  “Effective Project Management”

Whether you’re going on vacation, studying abroad, or just want to make the most of downtime on a plane, here are the 5 books you meet abroad. Any book recs for when on vacation, studying abroad or just while on the road? Show me with #BriBooks on Instagram! This epi is in honor of listeners Elexxa Thomas and Marche’ Hill, and other young women circling the globe, or thinking about it :)  

 Past Episodes About The Five Books You Meet Abroad

• The Circle
• What I Know For Sure
• Leave Your Mark
• Americanah

 

• 2:55: Book #1: Good Fiction, a page turner that you pull out every chance you get. Fiction can be very freeing when dealing with the stressful logistics of making a home in a strange place. I did an epi about the book “The Circle,” good piece of fiction. Escapist. #Protip: I did an epi about the book.
• 3:54: Fiction recommendation is “Land of Love and Drowning” by author Tiphanie Yanique, set in US Virgin Islands at the turn of the 20th century, spanning nearly a century of how this family grew and fell apart.

• 4:25: Book #2: Personal Development, a book written by a professional or about a company you’re interested in.To “meet’ this book abroad, pick a title that’s written by a founder or professional you’re interested in. Think of a few companies you admire (Amazon? Google? KIND bars?), and dig into their processes. This is a “primary source” of sorts, an up close and personal look at the inner workings of something great to you.
• 5:18: Personal development recommendation is “ What I Know for Sure” by Oprah Winfrey. Reading the collection of columns was very affirming for me. Of course, I did a podcast episode about the book.
• 5:42: Book #3: Good Nonfiction. You want this book to count, so that when you put it down, you’re armed with more information on something you care about. Whether that’s media, sports, fashion, investment banking, find a writer or author who really understands the zeitgeist and the industry, and is able to  put context behind that. You want something by industry insider or something religious, the focus is to expand your knowledge so that you’ve been entertained and informed.
• 6:20: Nonfiction recommendation is Aliza Licht’s “Leave Your Mark.” This book taught me a ton about PR. Brandi Kellam at NBC News and I chatted about this book on a previous episode on this book, focusing on how to become a professional who communicates effectively, and brand  yourself based on hard work instead of the perception of hard work :-)
• 7:30: Book #4: Good Lit You’ve Been Meaning To Get Around To. This is the title you see everyone reading, keep hearing about, or you’ve been meaning to get around to reading. For me, that book was “Americanah” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (yes, I did an epi about that book, too!) The purpose of this “meeting” is to finish something you've been thinking starting.
• 8:19: Book #5: A Book That Honors Where You Are. What’s the purpose of being somewhere new, unique, adventurous and not digging into that space?! This is a very authentic and personal way to root yourself into a culture, history and moment.  Every country and culture has noteworthy and famous authors--do a bit of research, find an author, and pick up their latest title. Who is the literary darling of where you are?
• 9:00: I’m reading “A House in Bali” by Colin McPhee, because….I’M GOING TO BALI IN TWO WEEKS WITH TRAVEL NOIRE!
• 9:30: Being out of your element is aw ay to establish new habits--make a habit of spending the first two hours reading on the plane, or read before bed. It’s a good way to normalize something and inject routine into a chaotic and adventurous time like being abroad.
• 10:15 - Instead of an OPP, we’re going to do what are the books we want to read if we want our brains to study abroad.
• 10:30 - Rush’s pick: “Underground Railroad” by Colson Whitehead--it’s very popular, it’s alt historical fiction where they imagine underground railroad as a literal train.
• 11:28: Brionna’s pick: “Too Big to Fail” by Andrew Ross Sorkin. It was one of the first free books I picked up in NYC, I know the story, but i’ve never read the story!

 

Meet Kovie, culture & identities writer and Deputy Entertainment Editor at @buzzfeednews. Kovie and I luv author Luvvie Ajayi ( AKA @AwesomelyLuvvie) for being lowkey judgemental (for all the right reasons). On today's epi, we share our fave takeaways from Luvvie’s NYT Bestseller (!!!) “I’m Judging You: The Do-Better Manual.” Kovie wrote about Queen Sugar. Then, Ava DuVernay wrote a thank you Kovie. She totally buried that lede.

 

SHOW NOTES

Luvvie on Side Hustle Pro Podcast (which BANGS)

#BriBooks OPP’s (Other People’s Podcasts) This Week

From Brionna: Tea with Queen and J.

From Kovie: Minorities in Publishing podcast (hi Jenn Baker!), Another Round, The Friend Zone

 

• 1:15- How Kovie and I found Luvvie via #TGIT Scandal Twitter

• 3:30 - Luvvie’s consistency, and taking 10 years to become an “overnight success.”
• 4:45 - Kovie on judgement
• 7:10 - #RelationshipGoals Goals: Are you on the same team?
• 9:45 - Doing the branding v. doing the WORK!
• 11:00 - Being a black woman, using humor and being taken “seriously” as a critic
• 12:15 - Luvvie is an active LISTENER and authentic RESPONDER.
• 12:40 - Kovie on why we are children no longer, how 2016 prepared her for 2017, and why the darkness was never a stranger to us.
• 16:07 -  “Africa is a continent and people have to respect that.”
• 18:45 -  “Do Better Manual” for 2017 - Get disciplined!
• 24:35 - Tired? Get up off your ass, say a prayer, and go to work!
• 25:00 - OOP’s: Minorities in Publishing, Another Round, The Friend Zone, Tea with Queen and J.
• 26: 41 - The ULTIMATE lede burial - Kovie wrote on Queen Sugar. Ava wrote Kovie. Epic.

*Sanaa Lathan ‘Brown Sugar’ voice* “So, when did you fall in love with video games?”

In this episode of Bri Books, co-producer Rush Perez and I talk video games, nostalgia, and Blake J. Harris’ 2014 book, “Console Wars: Sega, Nintendo, athe the Battle That Defined a Generation.” The book remembers the rise and shifting significance of gaming consoles in the home in the 80s. Since then, the console has moved from a box connected to a TV screen, to the screen connected to our hands.

 

• 0:30 - Brionna and Rush’s first consoles, and how we got into gaming as kids
• 1:30 - A brief history of Nintendo v. Sega
• 2:30 - How game consoles acted as an “excuse to go into other people’s houses.”
• 2:50 - All together, alone (gaming online)
• 3:15: Brionna’s top 5 video games of all time! (1. Dig Dug, 2. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, 3. Mortal Kombat, 4. Crusin’ USA 5. Pole Position)
• 4:30 - How “Mortal Kombat” continues to age gracefully.
• 5:17 - Do we recommend this book?
• 6:15 - Rush’s  (#OtherPeoplesPodcasts) #OPP podcast recommendations for the week: “Keepin’ It 1600”, “Undone” (especially this episode called “The Deacons”)
• 7:20 - Brionna’s pod rec (#OtherPeoplesPodcasts) is the recent  “Freakonomics” series “Bad Medicine,” all about the hidden side of the medical industry, especially pharmaceuticals and research.

 

Remember, we’ve changed the pod name but kept the delicious pod flavor. On Twitter we’re still @bribookspod, now on Instagram and Facebook as @bribookspod. Tweet me what you’re reading using #BriBooks on Instagram and Twitter!

Resolutions and goals and action items, oh my!

Past goal-setting episode - “There Are 83 Days Left in 2016”

Happy New Year! I hope you’re coming off of the high of a well-rested holiday. There’s so much energy in the air at the end of the year, and I love to use that time to set goals. I did an episode all about the process back in October 2016, but here’s a more drilled-down version of goal-setting, just in time for the New Year. So, let’s dig into how to get our goal-setting “weight up” in 2017.

Show Notes

• 0:40 - There’s something intoxicating about the end of the year. Because there’s so much energy in the air we feel invigorated, but we want to set goals that will invigorate month over month.

• 2:00 - I did a podcast in October titled ‘There Are 83 Days Left in 2016’
• 2:20 - Why quarterly and monthly goal-setting keeps everything in perspective for me
• 3:05 - #1, in goal-setting: Take an assessment (a la Myleik Teele’s podcast). Critically ask, where am I? What worked and what didn’t? What did I try? I call this my “remix.”
• 3:45 - #2, treat yo self! What did you accomplish and what are you grateful for? For me, in 2016, I collected a lot of great feedback on this podcast,and completed the first season and started work on the 2nd season, all while doing a rebranding! I kept up with volunteering with Junket NYC (mentorship program), NYABJ. I committed to serving with my church. I got my candle shop up and running!
• 5:00 - #3, set a mantra for the time period. Because I have quarterly goals and annual goals, the mantra/ words I live by. Those words are ‘DOMAIN EXPERTISE.’ I’m striving to be someone who’s an expert in my space, and knows my role and contribution deeply.
• 5:50 - #4, create goal areas! Self care learning, home, health, bri books, finances, professional, friends and family, spiritual, personal, service, bricandles, fun adventure, reading
• 6:00 - Good goal areas to start off with, and go from there!
• 6:15 - Brionna’s 13 goal areas. I make my weekly and monthly to-do lists, I focus on action-based tasks that can move the needle across my goal areas, or at least give me more information to make a more informed decision.

 

Tell me how you set goals--what are your goals for 2017? Do you do vision boards? prayers/ devotionals? What do you do and use to keep yourself accountable? Show me your vision boards, goal lists, and boss moves on Twitter, on Instagram and Facebook as @bribookspod using #BriBooks on Instagram and Twitter! I hope this demystified goal setting for you. Of course, I need to know what you’re reading and looking forward to in 2017!

I hope this demystified goal setting for you. Of course, I need to know what you’re reading and looking forward to in 2017!

(Spoiler alert: It's a "Best of 2016" podcast.)

 

Thanks so much for going with me on this journey!  I’m really excited about 2017 and this podcast, and just sharing more of my journey with you and sharing relevant and inspiring content. Let’s revisit the top moments of 2016 on this podcast. These are the moments I’m most proud of, and you found most useful.

 

SHOW NOTES

1. “Americanah,” friendship and letting people out of your life (ep. 1.6)
2. “Leave Your Mark,” never getting too ‘comfortable’ and finding pockets of opportunity (ep. 1.4)
3. “Do Less, Get More” on how to do everything, just not at the same time (ep. 1.5)
4. “Modern Romance,” how Gabby Thomas and I “approach” online dating (ep. 1.7)
5. “We Have 83 Days Left in 2016,” and how I set and accomplish my goals (ep. 1.9)
6. “Modern Romance, Pt. 2,” and how co-producer Rush Perez looOooooOoves his girlfriend (ep. 1.8)
7. My National Association of Black Journalists story, featuring VP, NABJ Benet Wilson (ep. 1.10)
8. “Modern Romance” with Gabby, and why being an intentional dater is non-negotiable (ep. 1.7)
9. “Guys, Was John Adams Right,” but seriously, he was spot-on about the moral implication of wealth and politics (ep. 1.12)
10. Oprah’s “What I Know for Sure” has taught me to be grateful for my mountains (ep. 2.1)

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