Aggressive athletics, with Melissa. This week, our fair friend finds herself (once again) challenged on the Atlantic City boardwalk by yet another geriatric upstart. Who will win?  How long have you listened to this show?

It's love and abundance week, Dear Listerner, so let's kick things off with a timeless message... don't steal. Or maybe, don't get caught. See also: Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Plus, porn!

The pull of gravity has reached our jowels, Dear Listener, and the only one coming to save us is Corporate Thor. Good thing little girls are here to annoy the fugg out of us on an airplane. Interested? You should be. We explore all these topics this week, plus: should Melissa give up her daily sleepy-weed ritual? You be the judge (for a change). Lord knows we could use a break fomr that job. 

"My home is not a landfill, storage unit or museum. How can I use my things if I can't even see them?" All hail Abigail Roe ad @downsizeupgrade for the chant that changed it all. Plus, Missy talks us through the act of sticking things where they don't belong. Amy thins her wigs. And the Boundary Police make another appearance, this time in the form of everyone's favorite word: No.

Busch Light Apple and the importance of teaching your children that no amount of added flavor can offset the actual flavor of anything with the name Busch in it. Moving on. Missy contemplates the wide open karmic spaces of a summer at the beach. Amy reports on the little one's State Championship lacrosse game and the ritualistic burning of Nottaway Plantation (no relation). And Missy does everything she can to avoid much needed rest. 

From Action Dick to the gradual lessening of the finger bang, Melissa takes us on a journey of discovery that spans races, cultures and double stuff Oreos. Then, it's the Pope (as you would expect), plus liming, gift giving and the first installment of Ask Me Anything. And given where the content started, it's hard to imagine where these free-for-all questions will lead us next. Happy Mother's Day!

Don't say we didn't warn you, Dear Listener. TikTok is at it again with an obnoxious food-adjacent "snack" that can only be described as relationship-ending. Amy accidentally gropes herself in public (again). And Missy sums up the weekend that was after our 35th college reunion with the DSharps. 

Be smart enough to shred your own cheese. And be worth it, Dear Listener. That's the lesson. In bread and all things, just be worth it. We hold space for you in our sacred sirloin area as Melissa determines the do's and absolutley do not's when it comes to foreign hands comingling with one's warmed bread.  Plus, we acknowledge the Pope, and cinnamon, and Kenny Rogers, and problematic extended family in social settings (with equal reverence).  You'll get it. Just press the button. 

Fly away, friends! We discuss all sorts of air-based travel this week, Dear Listener, including Dogs on Planes, Birds on Branches and—cue the Muppets—Chicks! In! Space! Missy slips it in again. And Amy neglects her duties. Big. Suprise. Or is it?