The SWATs keep on coming, America, and Missy is kinda over it. Stuart pays a visit to the front door in his underwear. And Amy shares a series of unfortunate events that even she wonders why she shared. To quote the world watching the state of geopolitics today, "what are we doing?" Listen and learn, Dear Listener. (Learn what not to do.)

It's springtime, Dear Listener, and the boys refuse to wear their condoms. But never fear — Missy is ready for the pivot. Hallmark After Dark returns with a glorious reframe as Missy envisions a whole new way to explore the carnal side of the kingdom. (But don't blow in the hole, kids. It's dangerous. Because Science.) We travel to foreign lands this week and listen with envy as Missy dives deep into the everyday joys of ordinary life. What more could you want? If you said sex, you're in the right place. Kinda.

It's STADIUM MADNESS Week, Dear Listener, with myriad tales of sports spectation gone awry. SCHPORTZ! Punched by a stranger in public, the kids rebound by winning the game. Missy initiates physical contact with the Concessions Team... again... and we both dive deep into the sewer. Who knew? I didn't even mention the most surprising thing to go into Amy's mouth this week. Wait for it. Worth it.

Oh, the siliness of our deeply bumpy brains. It's Brazilian Carnivale season, Dear Listener, and even those bare bottomed beauties are not enough to lure Amy out of the Heated Rivalry cuckhold that currently dominates her mindspace. (Not to worry. Missy cuts all that out.) Skipping ahead to the lies we tell ourselves, we wander through the Forest of Dark Thoughts only to emerge on Cottage Cheese Beach arm in arm. Loving you more than you think this week, Dearest Follower. And now, an ask: can you send Missy a smile? Insta, TikTok, Facebook: listenbrilliant. Email: [email protected] .

Missy meets a cash-toting stranger on her front porch and happily lives to tell the tale (for once, Stuart and Amy are on the ESSSHthaccct ShhhhAme Payyge). Missy's Ambien-induced shopping takes a heartwarming turn. And Amy slathers her soul in liquid butter. It's binge-listening at it's finest, Dear Listener, with plenty of innuendo, intrigue and closed circuit TV footage to keep things interesting. Chuckles and love, sweet peeps.

If the internet has taught us anything it's that cameras are everywhere, Dear Listener. And boy howdy do they love pancakes. Join us as we discuss directional flatulence, sexy smoking, the Real Housewives of the Main Line and Missy's favorite new word. It's been a week, friends. And we're here for it.

Stiff nipples, the specter of nudity and proud venereal disease test results combine in this nonsensical wintry mix, and can we just say we're here for all of it, Dear Listener. So shake off those shivery duldrums and indulge in a cheery chat about all things silly. It's the laugh you need to jumpstart your week. Love it. Love you. Clothes and all.

Snowpacalypse. Sandwhiches of Many Lands. And texts we'd rather not be a part of. What more could you wish for this week, Dear Listener, except maybe... maybe... even more Heated Rivaly perversion. Will it ever end? We hope not. Meantime, please remember to shine brightest in your little corner of the world. You never know who relies upon you to feel the light. Love you. Mean it.

It's a Heated Rivalry takeover, Dear Listener, with tales of German funk stank, ladies scooping for gold and the sexiest of date night meals, the tuna melt. Missy leads us through a game of Guess Who's In the Orange Jumpsuit Crew. And Amy recaps her Italian visit with sights, sounds and yes, truly authentic smells inspired by Ilya and Shane themselves. There's love, there's sex, there's an abundance of cheese (all kinds). Join us, won't you? Promise to make you laugh.

Celebrity guest Jessica Kupferman discussed Heated Rivalry, Fish, and Internet Revenge Posting. Enjoy!