Feeling pretty smug, are we Dear Listener? Well, shame me not for my 65,000 inbox emails. I'm too busy doing the Lord's work to open your "please subscribe to my blog" email. And by busy, I of course mean chasing wolf spiders, playing Fishdom, and arguing over the proper use of the Oxford comma (see what I did there?). From Victorian fish forks to Cutwater canned vodka to vaginal spelunking, we skewer it all this week. Join us on a perilous romp through all the shocking foibles befalling modern society today. And yea, I kinda did say it. 

Tomato sandwiches, dead deer and a whole heaping helping of giggly, googly eyed fun. All this and as the list-lipped mesothelioma lady says, so much more, on today's Brilliant Observations. 

Holy chemical stimulation, Batman! Missy and Amy wander down sexual performance enhancement lane this week, Dear Listener, along with a full review of the flingable dildos spotted recently at the W-MBA. It's almost as fun as taking an edible at dinner. Hey, now!

Scotty Scheffler may know who he is, but as for Amy, she's still learning, Dear Listener. This week, we cover Hinge dating, the visual appeal of applying serums and Drive By Carb-ing. Bowl of Prop Cereal, anyone?

Beach houses, human teeth collections and circular diahhrea. Just another day in paradise, Dear Listener, and per usual we're here for it. We cover the passing of Ozzy Ozbourne, animal cremains and the long list of people's names Amy has no chance of remembering. Sprinkle in a bit of homespun wisdom, potty humor and lighthearted feminist manifesto and you've got yourself a show, folks. 

Once again, Melissa goes out of her way to make Amy look bad by allowing Amy's mic to record and broadcast the exact things she says with her own mouth. Amy learns (refutes?) the lies behind the rules our parents told us as children. Missy learns how many songs make other people think of her. And we both discuss the C-suite homewreckers caught canoodling in pubic in front of then entire world (without their consent). Ahh, me. It's a rollick this week, Dear Listener. Promise. 

Time to take yer teets out somewhere salty. The summer is closing, Dear Listener, and as we al know, it can only last as long as it can last. Missy Navy Seal breathes through the struggle as the kids laze, the eyes glaze and TVs on every floor blast Love Island: Creepy and Rapey Edition. Plus, Melissa shares an uplifting tale of solidarity and love courtesy of a Houston Yoga studio (creepy and rapey edition). 

Amy cuts a solid six inches off her hair and literally no one notices. Missy violates the terms and conditions of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. And we both attempt to decompress whilst upholding the rapidly loosening rules of polite society. Kinda. 

It's the Poop Cruise plus Pee Wee, Dear Listener, and boy do we have opinions for you. Missy draws a hard line in the litter box over floating public vacations. Amy doubles down with her side-eye over Paul Reubens' questionable collections. And we both reminisce over the joys of time with family, salt air and silliness.