Scotty Scheffler may know who he is, but as for Amy, she's still learning, Dear Listener. This week, we cover Hinge dating, the visual appeal of applying serums and Drive By Carb-ing. Bowl of Prop Cereal, anyone?

Beach houses, human teeth collections and circular diahhrea. Just another day in paradise, Dear Listener, and per usual we're here for it. We cover the passing of Ozzy Ozbourne, animal cremains and the long list of people's names Amy has no chance of remembering. Sprinkle in a bit of homespun wisdom, potty humor and lighthearted feminist manifesto and you've got yourself a show, folks. 

Once again, Melissa goes out of her way to make Amy look bad by allowing Amy's mic to record and broadcast the exact things she says with her own mouth. Amy learns (refutes?) the lies behind the rules our parents told us as children. Missy learns how many songs make other people think of her. And we both discuss the C-suite homewreckers caught canoodling in pubic in front of then entire world (without their consent). Ahh, me. It's a rollick this week, Dear Listener. Promise. 

Time to take yer teets out somewhere salty. The summer is closing, Dear Listener, and as we al know, it can only last as long as it can last. Missy Navy Seal breathes through the struggle as the kids laze, the eyes glaze and TVs on every floor blast Love Island: Creepy and Rapey Edition. Plus, Melissa shares an uplifting tale of solidarity and love courtesy of a Houston Yoga studio (creepy and rapey edition). 

Amy cuts a solid six inches off her hair and literally no one notices. Missy violates the terms and conditions of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. And we both attempt to decompress whilst upholding the rapidly loosening rules of polite society. Kinda. 

It's the Poop Cruise plus Pee Wee, Dear Listener, and boy do we have opinions for you. Missy draws a hard line in the litter box over floating public vacations. Amy doubles down with her side-eye over Paul Reubens' questionable collections. And we both reminisce over the joys of time with family, salt air and silliness.  

Aggressive athletics, with Melissa. This week, our fair friend finds herself (once again) challenged on the Atlantic City boardwalk by yet another geriatric upstart. Who will win?  How long have you listened to this show?

It's love and abundance week, Dear Listerner, so let's kick things off with a timeless message... don't steal. Or maybe, don't get caught. See also: Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Plus, porn!

The pull of gravity has reached our jowels, Dear Listener, and the only one coming to save us is Corporate Thor. Good thing little girls are here to annoy the fugg out of us on an airplane. Interested? You should be. We explore all these topics this week, plus: should Melissa give up her daily sleepy-weed ritual? You be the judge (for a change). Lord knows we could use a break fomr that job.