Marriage is a creation of God’s and is meant to be a blessing.  

• So, how can we do that better?

Recognize you are on the same team.  Submit to one another for the good of the team, i.e. marriage. Ephesians 5:21-33 - Verse 33: … every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.                                                     

One of you is not better than the other.  You are equal players in this endeavor.
No more trying to win for the SELF - now it is win for the MARRIAGE.
Many parts - one body, all are important.  (1 Corinthians 12:12-17)

Focus on your spouse's strengths - you have a choice on what you will focus on with your spouse.  If you choose to focus on their shortcomings and weaknesses, that is all you will see. 

Effective communicatio   Truly listening to your spouse,  understanding their heart, is key to knowing how to best support them.
               Daily Check-ins - “How are you doing?” is more important than “What are you doing?”
               Heart Check - Validate that you hear them by rephrasing what they have said in your words. 
             Do not give advice unless asked for.  Do not “fix” your spouse. 
Ask “How can I help?” “What do you need from me?”

Be Your Best - Instead of focusing on what your partner is or is not doing, focus on what you can do to be your best version for not just the good of you, but also your spouse. We’ve used this verse alot but Matthew 7:1-3. “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ...

            Spiritual Growth - practicing to be more Christlike 
            Physical Growth - taking care of your body.  Are you healthy? Are you fit? Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? Are you attractive to your spouse?
            Personal Growth - stretch and challenge yourself in your own desires and gifts.  Practicing a hobby, taking a class, accepting a new challenge to better yourself. 

Love Them the Way They Want to be Loved
Learn and Know what makes them feel loved, respected, and valuable              

Make Christ Your Cornerstone - Build on a common and solid foundation   Matthew 7:24-27
Common values for living come from Christ
Pray together - invite God into your marriage.                                                                             Practice forgiveness and grace as Christ does with the Church

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