Rock Solid Families

The topic of Love and Respect is one we have covered before.  But this time we are approaching it from two very different perspectives; husbands then wives.  
Understanding what love and respect means to each other is like learning an entirely new language.  Things you thought you understood come back to only cause more confusion and conflict.  Emerson Eggerich, author or Love and Respect, explains that the two languages are not necessarily right or wrong, just different.  The  key to success in the relationship is then understanding the language differences and how to interpret better.  

In part 1 we covered the topic from the man's perspective.  How he interprets the language of love and respect and how the ladies can do better to understand his language. 

In part 2 we covered the topic from the woman's perspective.  Her interpretation of love and respect is different than the man's but no better or worse. 

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Spiritual warfare is a reality that families, particularly those who hold strong Christian beliefs, often face. Understanding spiritual warfare and recognizing how it manifests can help families confront these attacks and fortify themselves spiritually.

Ways We See Spiritual Attacks on the Family
Division and Conflict: One of the primary tactics in spiritual warfare is to sow seeds of discord within the family. Misunderstandings, arguments, and grudges can fracture relationships. 

Distraction from Spiritual Priorities: Families can be overwhelmed by hectic schedules, technology, entertainment, and material pursuits. 

Negative Influences: Spiritual attacks may come through media, friendships, or cultural pressures that promote values contrary to biblical teachings. 

Mental and Emotional Health Struggles: Spiritual warfare often manifests in the form of anxiety, depression, fear, or feelings of inadequacy. 

Attacks on Marriages: Marriage is a key target in spiritual warfare because it forms the foundation of the family. Problems such as infidelity, lack of communication, resentment, and selfishness can cause deep rifts in marriage. 

Challenges in Parenting: Raising children in a godly manner faces opposition through societal influences, peer pressure, and ideologies that contradict biblical values. 

Advice - 
Confronting and Dealing with Spiritual Attacks
Prayer and Fasting: Prayer is the frontline defense against spiritual warfare. Families should develop a habit of regular, intentional prayer, both individually and as a unit. 

Daily Bible Reading and Study: Scripture is a powerful weapon in spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:17 describes the Word of God as "the sword of the Spirit." 

Wearing the Full Armor of God: Ephesians 6:10-18 outlines the "armor of God" that believers must wear to stand firm against the enemy's schemes. This includes the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, and sword of the Spirit. 

Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Families must actively work on resolving conflicts and practicing forgiveness. 

Guarding the Mind: Proverbs 4:23 advises, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Families should be cautious of what they allow into their minds through media, relationships, and activities. 

Building a Supportive Christian Community: Engaging with a church community provides spiritual support and accountability. 

Regular Worship and Sacraments: Participating in regular worship and sacraments, such as Communion, keeps the family connected to God’s grace and reminds them of His power over darkness. 

Encouraging Open Communication: Parents should foster an environment where children feel comfortable discussing their fears, doubts, and questions about faith. strategies to counter them, families can protect their unity and spiritual health. As Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, "Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world." In Christ, families have the power to overcome these forces and live in victory.

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Matthew 12:25 But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.

True wisdom is timeless.  Whether it was the time of Christ walking the earth or today, the wisdom holds true.  Short of the civil war era, our country has not experienced such divide.  Politics, religion, economics, education, and journalism just to name a few, have driven a great wedge between us.  One of the many results we are witnessing is the sheer lack of civility towards each other.  

Whether we agree or disagree with each other's ideas, as Christians we are all called to treat each other with respect.  Many believe they only need to treat others with respect when they are earning respect.  This is not of the Bible.  The Bible tells us we are to respect all individuals.  Every person has equal value and worth in the eyes of God.  For us to disrespect a person places us in a position of judgement against them.   We are not called to judge the person.  

On the other hand, we are not being asked to respect the actions of others. This is where we get confused.  We don't like the behavior or actions of someone and we immediately place them as something less than us as a person.  This is a dangerous thing for us to not understand.  We have all heard the phrase, 'love the sinner, hate the sin', this is what this idea is about.  

Several years ago a popular slogan began its way around the country.  On its surface it seemed to be innocent and even make sense.  The reality is that it has backfired.  "Celebrate Diversity".  This slogan has not brought us together but driven us apart.  The slogan we must get back to is grounded in who we are as humans.  "Celebrate Similarity, Respect Diversity". 

When you hear name calling and assault on entire sectors of people, your radar should go off.  This is not the person you want to be following.  This person is simply not being civil or respectful to others.  It doesn't matter their political view, if they are disrespectful, beware! 

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Parenting Styles and Their Impact
Parenting styles are the approaches parents take to raise their children. These styles can significantly influence a child's development, behavior, and self-esteem. Here are six common parenting styles, with examples and a discussion of their effectiveness:

1. Permissive Parenting
Description: Parents are very lenient, allowing their children to make their own decisions and setting few limits.
Example: Parents let their child stay up as late as they want, eat whatever they desire, and have little to no rules.
Impact: Children raised by permissive parents may struggle with self-control, decision-making, and responsibility. They may also become more prone to substance abuse and risky behaviors.

2. Neglectful Parenting
Description: Parents are uninvolved and provide little emotional or practical support.
Example: Parents are often absent or preoccupied, showing little interest in their child's life.
Impact: Children raised by neglectful parents may experience low self-esteem, emotional problems, and behavioral issues. They may also struggle with academic performance and social relationships.

3. Gentle Parenting
Description: Parents focus on creating a loving and supportive environment, emphasizing positive discipline and communication.
Example: Parents use gentle discipline techniques, such as natural consequences and positive reinforcement, to guide their child's behavior.
Impact: Children raised by gentle parents often develop strong self-esteem, empathy, and social skills. They are also more likely to be cooperative and well-adjusted.

4. Guilty Parenting
Description: Parents feel excessive guilt and often overcompensate by being overly permissive or indulgent.
Example: Parents feel guilty about working long hours and try to make up for it by buying their child expensive gifts or allowing them to have unlimited screen time.
Impact: Children raised by guilty parents may struggle with boundaries and expectations. They may also develop a sense of entitlement and become less resilient to challenges.

5. Authoritarian Parenting
Description: Parents are strict, demanding obedience, and using punishment as a primary form of discipline.
Example: Parents set rigid rules, expect unquestioning obedience, and use harsh punishments for disobedience.
Impact: Children raised by authoritarian parents may become rebellious, withdrawn, or aggressive. They may also struggle with self-esteem and social skills.

6. Authoritative Parenting
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Description: Parents set clear expectations, provide guidance, and encourage independence. They use positive reinforcement and natural consequences as discipline techniques.
Example: Parents set reasonable limits, listen to their child's perspective, and provide support and encouragement.
Impact: Children raised by authoritative parents are often well-adjusted, confident, and successful. They are more likely to have strong self-esteem, good social skills, and academic achievement.

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Recently, Merrill and Linda saw the movie, The Forge.  Without spoiling the movie for you, we would highly recommend it!  The movie brings about the topic of mentoring and why it is so important.  

Seldom can we learn everything from a book or even a classroom.  We often learn best from the wisdom of those that take a special interest in us and are willing to poor into our growth.  This may be parent, but just as likely it is a coach, teacher, or family friend.  It is someone that  has seen something in you that they  value and want to help you become the best version of yourself.  

Mentoring is nothing new to mankind.  In fact, it has been one of the primary ways that valuable information and skills have been passed from one generation to the next.  However, in the past decade, mentoring has fallen out of practice to some degree.  Young people have not been as active to seek mentors as now they are able to answer many questions through their internet or social media outlets.  The problem with this is that these answers are often of a secular view.  

Today's show will challenge you to find someone to mentor you as well as you finding someone to mentor.  Usually this is an older person mentoring you with their life wisdom and you mentoring a younger person with your life wisdom.  It is often said that Paul had his Barnabas and his Timothy.  Barnabas poured into Paul, while Paul poured into Timothy. 

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Like it or not, it's here.  The world of Artificial Intelligence , A.I., is fast tracking to be one of the most powerful innovations mankind has ever experienced.  Many are excited, many are skeptical, and many many more are flat out scared! 

It's one thing to think about A.I. as an adult and how you will manage it, but the  concern many parents have is, "what about our kids?".  Technology has proved to be extremely helpful in our lives, but it has also proved to be extremely dangerous.  In fact, it is not the technology itself that is helpful or dangerous, it is how we choose to use it.  A.I. is no different. 

Recently, Merrill and Linda attended a training that discussed the use of and the pros and cons of A.I.  Today's show is a discussion of this new technology and the things we should consider as it becomes more and more prevalent.  

As with most technologies, there is always the naysayer that can never see how or why anyone would ever adopt the use of this new technology. But, one big take away from our training is that we have an opportunity to pull our head out of the sand and jump in to get ahead of all that is good and bad in order to make an informed decision.  

The technology of A.I. is nothing short of amazing, but in the wrong hands, it could be destructive.  As parents, you have a responsibility to be the keeper of the gate in terms of its use in your home.  Don't be ignorant and fall victim to its improper use.  Education is key to helping your regulate and use this tool in amazing ways.   

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Episode 300 is one that all of us have experienced or will soon.  There's the old saying that 'two things are certain, death and paying taxes.'  Today, we are going to turn add one more thing that is certain in life, PAIN.  None of us wants it but all of us will experience it.  Whether it's physical, emotional, or mental, all of us will have more than our desired share of pain.  

This show was inspired by Merrill's long summer of recovery from knee replacement.  Off to a great start he hit week number 3 and things began to get ugly.  His incision began to swell and the knee itself became even more uncomfortable.  It soon led to a doctor's visit where the doctor said that he was allergic to the internal stitches.  His body was going full force battle against the stitches with the collateral damage being the swelling of the knee, and lots of pain and stiffness.  For more than six weeks his knee had 6-7 large pores that were seeping constantly.  Changing dressings two- three times per day and lots of rounds of meds.  

As with all good pain, never let it lose an opportunity to teach us something new. Whether it be about ourselves or life in general.  Merrill's pain has led to an opportunity to learn and hopefully encourage others to get through their pain.  

Pain is one of those areas that tends to drive people closer to God or farther away.  Many grasp for anything God will give them for relief and purpose in the pain.  Others can see no good reason why a loving God would let such pain exists.  The bottom line is, pain does exist and hope is the best way through to the other side.  And God is the author of hope!  

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Introducing Bridgitte Price - Assistant Executive Director!
It's always exciting to add new people to your staff.   New ideas, new energy, and new talents are just the tip of the iceberg about what Bridgitte is already bringing to Rock Solid Families.  

Bridgitte comes to Rock Solid Families with past experiences as a school counselor at Batesville Community Schools.  She has also worked with women and children through Safe Passage.  And, she and her husband have been involved with Young Life in their local community.  From her past work experience, it is evident that Bridgette has a heart for people and her local community.  

Bridgette states that one of the biggest reasons she has made the move to Rock Solid Families is because she will get the opportunity to introduce God and all his Word to her clients.  The greatest tool in the tool box will now be at her finger tips! 

More specifically Bridgette will be working with children, adolescent girls, and young women and moms.  She brings a smile and great enthusiasm into the office.  She is currently seeing clients and making herself more available to those in need.  If you have questions about working with Bridgitte or for Rock Solid Families, please call us at 812-576-7625.

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If you go to the car shop your mechanic is going to diagnose your car with visual observation, measurement, and even computer diagnostic equipment.  When he is finished, he's going to have a pretty good idea of what's wrong with the car.  When you go to the doctor because your're not feeling well, they are going to begin the diagnostic process with blood work, scans, and monitoring equipment to get the best feedback possible to make their diagnosis.  Perfect? No, but much more reliable than what you're going to see in the mental health field.  

This is not to blame mental health professionals. Most are doing the best they can with what tools they have.  Mental health simply lacks pure testing processes and equipment to deliver reliable diagnosis.  

With that being stated, we have seen an explosion of people seeking mental health therapy in the last 20 years.  Children, men, women, couples, you name it, they're trying it.  But more recently the results have been scrutinized.  Is the therapy truly being effective?  The answer is not clear cut.  In fact, way too often there is little to no benefit, and even more harm than good.  For this reason people should take a closer look at therapy and know what to look for and what their part of the process is in order for a greater chance of success.

In this show, Merrill and Linda unpack the difference between Counseling and Coaching.  They discuss the importance of getting the right therapist for the right job.  The discuss the hard work that is required of the client in order to move towards healing.  They also talk about the most powerful healer in the room, God.  They remind us that God wants better for us, but we have to want to include him on the process.  This is where our humility or coachability come in.  ARE YOU COACHABLE?

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Here we go!  The new school year is ready to get underway whether our kids like it or not.  The start of the school year can provoke a host of different reactions from different students; anxiety, excitement, dread, anticipation, uncertainty, etc.... So, as a parent, how can you help your student start the year in the best way possible? 

As we look ahead to the 2024-25 school year, here are a few tips to start the new year off right: 

Get into a consistent routine as a family. Kids desperately need and thrive in consistent routines. Whether it be nightly family meals, consistent bedtime, packing lunches and backpacks before bed…whatever the routines are. Start them now and keep them consistent to help your child manage the daily stresses of life and thrive in this new school year. Anxiety in children often comes from inconsistency, chaos, and confusion. 

Prioritize your marriage and family over activities. It’s so easy to get swept up into the wave of busyness and distractions in our world today. Our culture has parents convinced that a full schedule=good parenting. 
Don’t get consumed by all the extras. 

Partner with your child’s teacher, administrators, coaches from the beginning. Trust me, no one’s getting filthy rich in this profession. They would love to partner with you from the start to help your child succeed. Email their teacher. Introduce yourself to their coach. Volunteer to help at the school. This spirit of synergy will help everyone win. 

Set the tone for a good year. Your child is watching and listening to you. Set a positive tone for the new school year and encourage your child to do the same. Your children take their cues from YOUR words, actions, and attitude. If they hear you complaining or undermining their teacher, they too will doubt and badmouth them. If you have questions or concerns, talk to their teacher, coach, or administrator privately and address them directly. Don’t air your dirty laundry out on social media. 

These are just a few of the things we focus on every year when our children start school and things we’ve found helpful with families we work with. Remember, our kids are watching us and need our help to start the new school year off right. 

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