Aloha, chaos! This week on Pretty Corrupt, we’re jetting off to The Valley—well, their Hawaii trip, our Bravo breakdown. Jordan and Stacy are spilling the tropical tea as Kristen Doute and Luke Broderick’s engagement party turns into a full-blown Bravo circus. Spoiler: the only thing more unstable than Jax Taylor’s marriage is his hairline. (Yes, we saw the bald spot. Yes, we have questions.)

Jesse Lally’s “men’s group” is giving major Luis Ruelas red-flag energy, and Jax’s “inner little boy” is apparently ready to heal… just in time for Social Security. Meanwhile, over at the girls' dinner, Janet Caperna’s Housewives audition continues—Kristen’s a “sniper from the side,” and Janet’s allergic to self-awareness.

Apologies are flying faster than Mai Tais, but Nia's not here for Janet's "rules for thee but not for me" drinking drama. Also: cracked phones, gaslighting via GPS, and Brittany Cartwright looking like she'd rather be anywhere else.

Meltdowns. Manipulation. Men’s circles. This is The Valley on PCP.