Broken Records - The Search for the Worst Album Ever

The customer is always right, so they say… hmmm… well, on this week's show we’re going to test that theory to the limit as we look at the second album from the early 00’s most successful hard rock revivalists; The Darkness’ One Way Ticket To Hell… and Back! Let’s hope you had a receipt for that catsuit.

We’re joined by Metal Hammer editor and longtime fan of the band Merlin Alderslade to dig deep into just what went wrong with rock's great new hopes of the 21st century. Released on the 28th of November 2005, the follow up to the inhumanly successful Permission To Land was always going to struggle by comparison, and it would take more than endless nudging, winking and tomfoolery and the excessive production techniques of the legendary Roy Thomas Baker, he of Bohemian Rhapsody fame, to save this album from a fickle mainstream public. During the recording of the record the band lost their iconically moustached bassist Frankie Poullain, frontman Justin Hawkins made the bizarre decision to go solo, and by the time the album was released drugs, apathy and exhaustion had all but destroyed the band, their stratospheric rise all crashing down around them as quickly as it had risen. 

But is the album actually that bad, or had The Darkness fifteen minutes of fame just expired? Find out here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’ve covered some absolute guff from the 90s on Broken Records, Steve and Remfry’s collective favourite period of time for music but it’s always led to some compelling, nostalgia-filled conversations and this week’s 90s entry is no exception. Stop, collaborate and listen cause Vanilla Ice’s on the mic and he’s jizzin out 13 truth bombs that are going to be Hard To Swallow.

Released by Republic Records in 1998, Hard to Swallow is the third studio album by American rapper Vanilla Ice. It proved to be a shallow attempt to move away from hip hop and discard his former pop image. Instead, Hard to Swallow featured what he described as "skate rock", a fusion of heavy metal, punk rock and hip hop. The album features appearances from Amen vocalist Casey Chaos, Bloodhound Gang vocalist Jimmy Pop, and Insane Poetry front man Cyco. Session musicians included drummer Shannon Larkin, keyboardist Scott Borland, and Snot guitarist Sonny Mayo. Oh and it’s produced by Ross Robinson, the nu-metal superstar producer who said that working on this album was “the most punk-rock thing you could do."

But was it? Or was it simply a sticky, premature gag of an album?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Its episode 42 and we have a special guest with us for this week’s Broken Record in the form of metal aficionado and Hell Bent for Metal Podcast creator Tom Dare. And this particular episode is catered to his tastes perfectly … or it would be, if we weren’t talking about an album written and released in the past 10 years of 'anything you can do I can better' Metallica copyists Megadeth's career. Hold on to your hadron collider's cause we're talking Super Collider.

Released on June 4, 2013, Super Collider marked the first time the band had released more than one album with the same lineup since 1997's Cryptic Writings, however it is the band's final album to feature drummer Shawn Drover and guitarist Chris Broderick, due to their departures from Megadeth in November 2014. The album debuted at number six on the Billboard 200 and has sold over 86,000 copies in the United States as of December 2015, despite receiving mixed reviews from critics with a Metacritic rating of 41/100

We discuss the lead up to this album, which had, for the most part, placed Megadeth in the best position they’d been in since the early 90s. They ballsed up most of that good will with this album, but where will we rank it on our list of Broken Records?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steve and Remfry are talking about one of their favourite eras in music, so expect 90s references a-go-go as we delve into The Boy with X-Ray Eyes, the debut album from Wolverhampton’s one hit wonders Babylon Zoo. Released in February 1996. It features the single "Spaceman”, which charted at number one on the UK Singles Chart after being featured in a popular Levi’s jeans TV advertisement in late 1995. The album peaked at number 6 on the UK Albums Chart and lasted a total of six weeks in the top 100 (three in the top 40) generally receiving favourable critical reviews.

But time has not been kind to Babylon Zoo or this album, as it’s retrospectively been re-appraised as one of the worst records of all time, hence its inclusion here. The Guardian and Q, who initially published favourable reviews, have named the record one of the worst of all time. In a 1999 Guardian article, critic Andrew Mueller labelled The Boy with the X-Ray Eyes "one of the most hilariously terrible albums ever made". Q staff ranked the LP at number 42 in their 2006 list of the 50 worst records in history, calling it an "album of lumpen MOR rock" that "sank without trace". A 2016 public poll organised by online trade-in site Ziffit.com placed it at number 31 in a list of the 50 worst records ever. But does an album with one of the biggest hit singles that the UK has ever seen really deserve its reputation as one of the worst albums ever made?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Its episode 40 of Broken Records so how appropriate that Steve and Remfry return to one of their least favourite eras for guitar-based music, an era where the prefix ‘The’ was king (or Queen but let’s face it … mainly king). Melodia is the fourth studio album by Australian alternative rock band The Vines, a band who were signed to Capitol Records on account of frontman Craig Reynolds’ personality (what a great thing to put money behind!)

Album sessions for Melodia lasted one week and yielded 25 songs! Based on the 14 that made the record, almost all of them were crap. Maybe they should have simply re-named the album ‘That’ll do’ because that seems to be the attitude that has prevailed for this entire record. But, where will it rank in our Top 40 Broken Records list?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We come to one of the most infamous examples of a Broken Record in the history of modern music, an album that has been on pretty much every list that we have encountered of worst albums ever. An album with a story so bizarre, ludicrous and inconceivable it has passed into rock n’ roll folklore.

We won’t spoil the story for those of you who don’t know it here but suffice to say, neither Steve nor Remfry were aware of the strange tale of The Shaggs and their 1969 debut album Philosophy of the World. This is a tale best told with no prior knowledge and so Remfry has a week off from Broken Records research so that Steve can tell him the extraordinary story of The Shaggs fresh.

Maybe it’s best to leave the last word to Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy, who said that “hearing the band was like discovering a strange new kind of tree. You can tell it’s a tree, but it’s not like any other tree that you’ve ever known.”

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are bad records and then there are broken records … and by golly gosh are we covering a broken record this week!

28th March 2008 was a dark day for music, as it saw the release of Concerto in True Minor, the debut album from True Symphonic Rockestra. Masterminded by German producer Dirk Ulrich, the inspiration for Concerto in True Minor came from The Three Tenors. Ulrich sought to create a project that brought together the worlds of rock, opera and musicals in perfect synergy.

Unfortunately, Ulrich didn’t have Messers Carreras, Domingo and Pavorotti on speed dial, so instead he brought in Vladimir Grishko, an Opera Tenor who (apparently) was the Cultural Minister of the Ukraine (according to the True Symphonic Rockestra website at least), Thomas Dewald, a tenor who may or may not have murdered some kids and James LaBrie AKA the worst thing to happen to Dream Theater. Herr Ulrich imaginatively called the trio … The Three Rock Tenors … what a vivid imagination he must have.

Ulrich had the following to say about the project. ‘This is a new, unique combination of these two forces and probably the first time ever to feature two world class tenors and one of the most respected voices in rock on one entire album.’ It’s safe to say that neither Steve nor Remfry agree, but exactly how bad is Concerto In True Minor?

Oh and we also throw shade at Andrew Lloyd Webber cause he’s an absolute bell!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There’s an air of slight befuddlement on episode 37 of Broken Records as Remfry and Steve discuss Tin Machine’s II, the 1991 sophomore album from the sort of supergroup. Sort of because really, the only member of the group that is ‘super’ is one Mr. David Bowie (you may have heard of him).

Supported by 3 singles, the album peaked at number 23 in the UK, though it only made it to number 126 in the US. The band's label, Victory Music, went bankrupt after the album's release, leading to it being mostly unavailable for purchase until 2020, when it was given its first major reissue on both vinyl and CD.

In a rare failure of judgement, Bowie himself was so assured with the project he left EMI, who were willing to put out David Bowie solo material but not this project. But is Tin Machine II really that bad? Where would it rank as a part of David Bowie’s solo career? And did Tin Machine, as some critics have retrospectively argued, predict the rise of grunge?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re going big on this week’s Broken Records this week by covering American Life, the ninth studio album from Queen Madge herself, Madonna. Released on April 21, 2003, by Maverick Records and Warner Bros. Records, the album is a concept album (apparently) with themes of the American Dream and materialism and was produced by Madonna herself and Mirwais Ahmadzaï, a collaborator who had worked wonders for Madonna’s material on her previous studio album Music.  

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for American Life, an album that attempts to mix elements of Americana folk with electronica to sometimes risible, often just plan boring results. American Life featured Hollywood, the first Madonna single not to chart on the Billboard Hot 100 since 1983. Hollywood turns out to be one of the least of the album’s crimes however, although there is some rip-roaring debate between Steve and Remfry over Die Another Day, the Bond theme to the film of the same name that also features on this album. Dance club banger or a turgid mess in search of a song?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s our first foray into Soundcloud Rap on Broken Records and about time too(!) as Steve and Remfry talk about the debut album from emo rap lad Lil Xan, Total Xanarchy. Released on April 6, 2018, by Columbia Records (who really should have known better) the album features guest appearances from Charli XCX, YG, Rae Sremmurd, 2 Chainz, Diplo, Yo Gotti, Rich the Kid, and Steven Cannon.

Not even all those guest spots can save this sheer abomination from our wrath but precisely how bad is Lil Xan’s Total Xanarchy?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.