Brunch and Bombs

Armageddon might be a controversial choice, but, despite the fact that you remember it from your childhood as a good movie, it's really not. In this episode, we delve into the confusing decision to send untrained (and mentally unstable) oil drillers into space, Ben Affleck's infamous hate-fueled DVD commentary, and Critter Cookies™. Listen at brunchandbombs.buzzsprout.com.

Sausage Party left us with a lot of questions, but the biggest is definitely "Why weren't those hot dogs refrigerated?"

Yes, Hope made us watch Soul Plane. She said she had no idea how bad it was, but we think that was a trap.  However, this 2004 movie does have the universally liked Snoop Dogg, the late, great John Witherspoon,  Academy Award winner Monique, a 32-year-old-but looked-23-years-old Sofia Vergara giving it her all, and a few other decent moments here and there.  If you choose to watch this, just a warning - you'll never be able to eat a baked potato again.

Begin summer 2022 with that beloved classic about sharks we all love - that's right, Sharknado. If you want to understand the science behind this cult classic, we've got good news. We brought in experts in meteorology, physics, and - no, just kidding, it's just us talking about some dumb movie, as usual. But if you have unanswered questions like "Do sharks work like that?," "Does water work like that?," "What's behind Tara Reid's emotionless mask of a face?" or the biggest question of them all - "What did Fin  DO???" - then listen in as we discuss and dissect this prime example of a good bad movie.

The iconic 1995 Power Rangers Movie - Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie - is bad, but fun. The 2017 reboot is just bad. This movie sees the return of Rita Repulsa and her hubby Zedd, as well as a new villain in the form of Ivan Ooze (played by  prolific English actor Paul Freeman, who acts his ass off), whose evil power is really just capitalism. All in all, a fun watch. 

Our latest movie stars that tough guy rapper turned actor who is as cool as ice. We all know who we mean here - that's right, it's Vanilla Ice. 

He and his crew ride around on crotch rockets and cause mostly lighthearted trouble (except for the time that he almost killed his love interest in an attempt to impress her), until a bike malfunction has them staying at Pee-wee's Playhouse, where they dance around and make peanut butter-pickle-sardine-mustard-pineapple sandwiches. Vanilla Ice's "Johnny" keeps trying to impress the pretty straight A high school student of his dreams, and somehow, eventually succeeds. But it's a twisting, confusing, and hilariously bad road to the conclusion, full of bumbling criminals, 12-hour dates in the desert, and impromptu rap performances.

Men in Black worked so well, so Warner Brothers was sure they had a hit with Wild Wild West. They were wrong.  U.S. Secret Service agent Artemus Gordon (portrayed by Kevin Kline) is somehow an exact doppelganger for the man he's protecting, U.S. president Ulysses S. Grant (in a weird flex, also played by Kline). The villain of the piece, Dr. Arliss Lovelace, is a biological marvel who, despite not having a lower body, is constantly horny. And much of the humor relies on referring to the rampant racism of the Reconstruction era. The salt in the wound is that the song "Men in Black" is an absolute banger, and "Wild Wild West" just isn't.

Wanted is bad, but watchable - especially with your best friends. Yes, I'm talking about mimosas. Angelina Jolie is at her Angelina Jolie-est, and a pre-fame Chris Pratt is a great doofy villain to James McAvoy's wannabe Tyler Durden - but the star of the show is definitely the loom.

Truly one of the worst movies we've watched for the pod. An mid-2000s Jennifer Lopez vehicle with a boring romance, no chemistry, and...a happy ending? Don't watch the movie for this one, y'all, just listen to us trash it.

Problem Child is a 1990 family comedy starring big 90s names like John Ritter, the late, great Gilbert Gottfried, and Seinfeld's Michael Richards as a...serial killer? It's a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be, and the why behind the confusion is a tale we've heard before. The creators wanted it to be a darker movie, the studio wanted it to be family-friendly. So we get Problem Child, a movie that isn't quite The Omen, but you can see how it was inspired by it.