Episode 5 of btch whaaaa?* kicks off with Franklet announcing that his dick has gotten bigger. V cuts straight in with the explanation—he just lost the FUPA—and that spirals into a brand-new stripper name: FUPA Meat. From there, V latches onto her now-legendary refrain—“Rake UR Nuts”—and the two riff their way into a whole stage roster, from Big Teal Butt Plugs to Chunky Water Slide.
In between the laughter, Franklet bends over to cough and tells the world why that was actually not the least dignified moment of his prison stint. He admits that raking his nuts hundreds of times for disinterested corrections officers wasn’t the humiliation he thought it was—because nothing could compete with how damn comfortable Mr Fisty McGee Franklet had been hundreds of times in orgies full of naked, dirty-ass men. Which only strengthens the maxim - "there are no accidental prisons in fisting."
V answers with her Nine Inch Nails concert saga, where her parents straight-up infiltrated the trip—“so metal,” Franklet insists—even though it was really just about Ikea. That detour explodes into CVS butt plugs, Hello Kitty Bluetooth speakers, and more additions to the stripper-name canon.
Music and visions thread through it all: Killer debuts Shining Off Your Name, Franklet dreams The Second Coming as a roller-disco TV show with God in Ruby Slipper roller skates, and the tarot deck won’t stop throwing The Star. Meanwhile, Nick lurks at the edges like Murky trying to catch the fucking rainbow off Rainbow Brite.
The result? An episode that’s raunchy, ridiculous, and strangely revelatory—exactly the kind of beautiful mess that makes b*tch whaaaa? the only name any real stripper needs.
