Bud Lamb Talks

This is Part 2 of four blog posts and podcasts in a series I’m calling “What, Why, & How.” In the first, we took a 30,000-foot look at three words that run in the background of our thinking and doing. Given that our spiritual (internal) dynamics fuel everything we do with our head, heart, and hands I think it a good idea to dig into them a bit.

Written by David, of the lineage of Jesus, this Psalm reflects the heart of a man asking God to work through these three questions: Why? What? How?

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14 NASB

Today we look at “Why?” Jesus, the Master Teacher in all dispensations and pandemics frequently asks the “Why” question.

Jesus uses questions differently than we commonly do today.

We ask questions for information; Jesus asks questions to provoke transformation.

We ask questions for answers; Jesus asks questions… for awareness.

-- Mark Tebbe: https://www.teloscollective.com/engaging-through-asking-5-ways-jesus-asked-questions/

Why are you thinking such things in your heart? Mark 2:8

Why are you anxious about clothes? Matthew 6:28

Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye yet fails to perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? Matthew 7:2

Why are you afraid? Matthew 8:26

In other words: Why do I think what I think and do what I do?

Let me suggest just a few questions Jesus might ask:

Why am I quick to blame?

Why am I holding on to things so hard?

What do I need to say “no” to?

Why do I say “yes” when I really need to say “no!”?

What keeps me awake at night?

Why do I insist on getting my way?

Why do I resist change?

Why do I procrastinate?

‘Why’ reveals our hidden motivations and is the seat of vision. ‘What’ brings vision to the context of our lives -- it sets the floor and ceiling of our lives. ‘How’ is the architect’s plans from which the building is built.

Next, in Part 3 we unpack ‘What.’

What do you want?

Not what do others want -- but you?

Your “What” shows the world who you are.

Reflect

Which ‘Why’ answer, reason, or justification needs to go. What needs to take its place?

Don’t labor over it - just name it, write it down, and come back to it later.

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PRAY

Oh my God, I was not ready for this today. I have a ton of things to get done today, I didn’t sleep well last night, work and the kids are out of control, and I read a blog post earlier this morning and...and now this! Help me get a handle on my why.

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This is the first of four blog posts and podcasts in a series I’m calling “Why, What, and How.” In this first, we will take a 30,000-foot look at three words that run in the background of our thinking and doing. Given that our spiritual (internal) dynamics fuel everything we do with our head, heart, and hands, I think it a good idea to dig into them a bit.

Full of practical wisdom for life, the wise author of Psalm 90 asks God to “teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12 NIV

WHY

Why do I think what I think and do what I do?

‘Why’ reveals our hidden motivations.

‘Why’ sets the ceiling and the floor of our lives.

WHAT

What do you want?

Not what do others want -- but you?

Your ‘What’ shows the world who you are.

HOW

How will I respond to my ‘what’?

How will I rally resources in support of my ‘what’?

How will I keep on track as I strive towards my ‘what’?

Jesus’ questions often begin with ‘why?’. ‘Why’ gives us vision. ‘What’ brings vision to the context of our lives. ‘How’ explains the steps we believe will add flesh to our ‘what’ and color to our ‘why’.

Today more than ever, with the chaos of “mask” or “no mask” -- and all the divisiveness just this one simple question brings, we need to pay attention to our ‘why’, ‘what’, and ‘how’.

Why? Each of us has one time on the planet, our lives matter, the time is short, and we are all needed.

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PRAY

Yes, God, teach me to number my days! My kids are growing so fast, I’m not so certain things are really getting better, and I would like to change some things. Amen

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Based on Deeper Discipleship, from Chasing the Sage, by Bud Lamb (Pages 113-115)

...seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 NASB

Learning to love like Jesus doesn’t come naturally for most of us. After a few years, most marriages have found a rhythm. It’s familiar but all too often it’s flawed -- often in small areas...sometimes in major areas. Left unattended, the heart of your marriage can atrophy and become lifeless.

The good news is your marriage can be better! It’s not easy...but possible. God is on your side and will meet you where you are.

So, a few hard-won lessons of husbandship (and wives these apply to both sides of the street).

Principles to learn and apply:

Renewing the heart of marriage begins with you. You and God actually. Typically though, we want to avoid dealing with it at all costs. Blame is usually the way boy-men make sense of the way things are. Blame and/or denial. Denial settles for the status quo; imagining there is no way out.

These are not for you to read and then go tell your wife she needs to join you in learning and applying them. Boys do stuff like that. You need to focus on these principles and learn to live them so love leaks out of you by your style of living -- not the words you profess. Your wife has heard your words and has learned that your words are mostly hollow.

Your marriage is not a 50/50 proposition - it is 100% up to you to learn to love like Jesus. And, it’s 100% up to your spouse to do the same. Whether they do or not is up to them. All you can do is work on yourself. Learn to love your spouse like Jesus, and entrust the whole enchilada to God.

Love. God’s standard of what love is can be found in the Bible. We can learn to love like Jesus. Your journey to a healthy marriage begins and ends with your ability to love like Jesus.

Broken. This journey is deeply personal and begins with being broken; i.e., clear self-acceptance that you have not loved your spouse, and that on your own you cannot. An honest reflection will reveal how poorly you love it like this. Read 1 Corinthians 13:12-14 and Colossians 3:11-14

...all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 NIV

Unless you accept your inability to love like God, you will remain loveless and your marriage will atrophy.

Grace. Your relationship with God is grounded in grace, and so must be your relationship with your spouse.

As you learn to accept God’s forgiveness, you will learn to extend almost limitless grace to your wife and welcome it from her. This is where you, like Jesus, learn to turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, and forgive without being asked; i.e. let it go.

Unless you learn to extend grace (whether or not she reciprocates) your marriage will be based on You owe me.

As you work through all this, you will find God at work in your life to make you more like Jesus, rather than just being a better husband or having a better marriage. Like most spiritual lessons, this is counterintuitive...to become a better husband you have to work on following Jesus' way of living. As you grow closer to God, over time, you will grow closer to your spouse.

Each day you will find yourself at a fork in the road -- you can either blame your spouse or others for your current situation or accept that you don’t love like Jesus and seek from Him the grace to extend grace.

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PRAY

Lord God, how I want to avoid looking at my side of the street and instead blame my spouse, my family of origin -- anything or anyone but myself. I fear deep reflection that will expose my character defects. Meet me where I am, help me pick up this cross, and follow You daily out of desperation, trusting that You will make all things right as I surrender to Your will.

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It takes me a long time to wake up in the morning. When I was younger I needed to set an alarm to get up. Now, it’s in my muscle memory. This word awaken has more to do with my soul than just not hitting the snooze. Awakening has everything to do with waking up to what’s going on, who I am, and how I will engage with the day and the people I interact with. The Bible talks about this...

“Awake sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Ephesians 5:14 NASB

First thing, about 5 am I get up, turn on the gas to heat water for a cup of Joe - San Francisco French Roast from Costco with a turkish grind. My mind and soul is fogged like the windows of my truck parked out back. The windows will defog in an hour or so as the sun crests the hill. Same with my mind/soul -- it takes about an hour till the Spirit penetrates the eye of my heart and I’m making sense of things in my own right mind.

Yes, it takes about an hour sitting with God in the dawn of each new day to get my head on straight.

I begin very slowly to reflect and pray through the Daily Prayer (John Baillie, 1886-1960) followed by the Serenity Prayer (Reinhold Neibuhr, 1892 - 1971), 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, and Ephesians 6:10-19.

I do so as a desperate man--lost, doing the work of remembering who I am and what I am doing this day on this planet. I am desperate every day.

All along, as I awaken with God, I pray, talk, or mumble -- putting voice to my heart in partial sentences, bits of thoughts, fragments of truth -- those inspired Words of God -- verses which I’ve laboriously memorized and scrambled into the meat locker of my soul.

At times I find myself in a fierce spiritual battle, gripping and grunting in a fight to the death with the Prince of Darkness. As I do, I become more proficient with the tools of spiritual war. At times I am rolling with laughter, jotting thoughts in my journal, watching the dawn descend on the eucalyptus trees across the dell.

This is the best part of my day.

By now the last bit of coffee has grown cold. I take the final sip, and then having met with my Maker, I advance into the day ready for anything.

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PRAY

Help me awaken each day like this God. You may have a different way to peel back the dark, fix my heart on truth, and remind me You are in charge. Whatever it takes, I surrender again. Remind me to do my part in this God! Amen

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The day had arrived after almost 70 years! The Ark of the Covenant-- built as a symbol of God’s presence and glory -- was finally restored to Jerusalem. This was about 3,000 years ago when David was the King of Israel. It was one of David’s dreams to have the Ark back where it belonged.

“And David danced with all his might before the Lord…”  2 Samuel 6:14 Living Bible

Then and now, many considered it silly that anyone would dance before God. Perhaps it’s more a matter of the heart. In today’s world, we celebrate with a text and emoji or an online greeting card with fireworks, dancing hearts, and explosions. We send it off and consider it a celebration but it’s not.

Richard Foster writes that “the carefree spirit of joyous festivity is absent in contemporary society. Apathy and melancholy dominate the times.”

And yet, this ancient pathway of celebration is a hallmark of those who follow Jesus' Way.

Celebration, joy, and gratitude are all included in this dance of the heart. And if we have not learned how perhaps it is in this current wilderness where we discover something missing in our walk with Jesus.

We begin with gratitude -- being grateful for what we have, not what is missing.

We begin with a prayer -- asking God to meet us where we are, not where we want to be.

We begin with micro-steps -- coming back, or coming for the first time, to a deep surrender -- to let God be God, and you be you.

Celebration, joy, and gratitude are born from rescue, provision, and hope. Gratitude, prayer, and micro-steps are the dance steps. And like any dance, it takes practice.

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Pray

Thank You for forgiveness, no regrets, fresh starts, and Your Presence God. Thank you for watching over my kids, my spouse, my concerns, the roof over my head, my dog, my job, the food in the fridge, the doctors, those that ring up food in the grocery store. Thank You for the sun, the rain, the snow, the cold. Thank You for the promise of Your return -- where all things end well! And as David prayed in Psalm 51 “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.” Amen

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Reading from his recently published book Chasing the Sage, Bud continues reading from the chapter titled "Hitting the Wall 1.0".

In today's podcast, he begins reading on page 27 and continues to talk into the season of living as a "functional orphan" and the downward spiral that takes many men in their journey of chasing the Sage.

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We find seeking the guidance of others is another ancient pathway of those who follow Jesus’ Way. “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:25 ESV

Left to ourselves we can make tragic choices. With guidance from others, we can reduce the chances a bit.

Consider the story of a couple who decided to move far away from the home and loving community where they had lived for over 30 years. It was the home in which they were married, raised a family, and had grown deep roots in their church and community.

The move seemed to make a lot of sense from a financial side -- and the couple was in agreement. So they listed their home and bought a beautiful new home in a newer community.

Twenty years later over dinner, the wife said to her husband, “I never wanted to move from our old home!” Her husband replied, “I didn’t either! I thought you did, so I went along with it.”

Consider now the story of a couple who were faced with an opportunity to work and serve far away from family, friends, and everything familiar. Not only did they talk honestly and openly with each other, but they also called together 20 long-time friends and neighbors. Following a meal of soup and bread, the couple shared the opportunity they were considering and invited each person to ask questions and give feedback.

The friends asked good and sometimes hard questions. The couple shared how God was opening doors for service and each was on board with it so long as it was clear God was in it. Based on what the couple shared, each person strongly encouraged the couple to go.

The encouragement and prayers of friends and family allowed the couple to make a wise decision and to thrive for many years in a hard but fruitful season of service.

God can speak to us through the counsel of others. Yes, the Day is drawing near.

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Let's Pray

I’m not sure where to start with this ancient pathway, God. My “Lone Ranger” mentality recoils at inviting others in on what seems to be my private stuff. I do know we’ve made some hasty decisions. So, as with some of the other ancient pathways, I will say: “Help me God to be willing to seek guidance from trusted friends.” Amen

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A religious expert asked Jesus, “What is the most important thing for us to do?” Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37 NIV

“Worship” is another ancient pathway that people have followed for generations. Worship begins in the heart and finds its voice as we sing, shout, dance, or weep. As a noun, it means “the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration.” As a verb, it means “to show reverence and adoration.”

How we worship is secondary. Primary is our heart’s response to God’s sustained initiative. The only way to miss the point of worship is to attempt to worship without engaging your heart.

Typically we think of worship as something we do on Sunday, in a church. Many confuse singing a song with worship. How is that? Well, mindless repetition of words does not necessarily engage the heart. Consider these lyrics from the Matt Redomond song, The Heart of Worship.

When the music fades

All is stripped away

And I simply come

Longing just to bring

Something that's of worth

That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song

For a song in itself

Is not what You have required

You search much deeper within

Through the way, things appear

You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about You,

It's all about You, Jesus

I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it

When it's all about You,

It's all about You, Jesus

We simply cannot worship with our heads or in a hurry. Slowing helps us worship.=

Eugene Peterson, the author of The Message, a personal paraphrase of the Bible, distinguishes three kinds of language in our culture:

• Level 1 language is information and engages the head.
• Level 2 language is manipulation or motivation and engages the emotions.
• Level 3 language engages the heart.

The language of the Bible is Level 3 -- it is designed to engage the heart -- and therein is the rub for most of us (myself included) who spend more time in our heads and emotions than we do our heart.

To worship is to contemplate the ‘weight’, greatness, eminence, power, and authority of God. (1) Quoted by Brennan Manning in Ruthless Trust. That He is both infinite and intimate. Owner of a thousand sheep on a thousand hills; captures each tear of yours in a bottle; aware of each ache, dream, thought and hope in your heart and a billion others. He is able to engage in millions of conversations at the same time without a dropped call.

"He stretches out the north over empty space and hangs the earth on nothing. He wraps up the waters in His clouds, and the cloud does not burst under them. He obscures the face of the full moon and spreads His cloud over it. He has inscribed a circle on the surface of the waters at the boundary of light and darkness"….Job 26:7-10 NASB

Yes, God is worthy of our worship.

Yet what happens when tragedy strikes?

There is an enormous difficulty we crash into when we consider worship. What happens when the tragedy in the form of a stillborn baby, the cold loneliness of a husband denied access to his 87-year-old wife of 60 years as she lies in a cold room at a memory care facility, “how does dare to propose (a heart) of trust in the face of raw, undifferentiated heartache, cosmic disorder, and the terror of history? -- Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust, Page 39

We can do nothing but trust, as did Jesus facing the brutal injustice of His crucifixion when His heart screamed across the universe, “Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit!” Luke 23:46 ESV

Intellect fails us. Emotion overwhelms us. It is our heart with which we trust. Jesus alone is the hope which is the anchor for our soul.

Worship transforms us to progressively become more like Jesus. God is not insecure; He has no need for us to tell Him how great He is. Worship, whether corporate or alone, is meant to usher us into God’s presence. There, as we are overwhelmed with His beauty and majesty, we are changed.

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Pray

I’m like the guy who wrote the lyrics God -- I want to return to the heart of worship. Help me sit still long enough to begin to capture a glimpse of Your glory. Amen

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Bud and Aaron let us in on their weekly check-in where they talk about what's been going on in their lives, faith, and outlook on life.

In this session, they talk about how to keep self-motivated and moving forward when you're not feeling it, habits that help pull you out of a dive. They conclude with a powerful quote from Mark Twain.

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“If you have messed up and you find it continues to be an ache in your heart talk to a trusted friend, tell them what you’ve done. This is part of healing and restoration.” James 5:16 - Bud Lamb Translation

At key times in my life, this ancient pathway has been a place of tremendous breakthrough. The weight of my secret sins is lifted when I practice this element of the Christian lifestyle. You may come from another faith background where confession is a Sacrament that is administered by a Priest and absolves a person of guilt. If so, this may sound untrue; however, the Bible is clear on how sin is absolved; i.e. the finished work of Christ on the cross. (Romans 5:1-11)

The first person to go to when you’ve messed up is to God. He is the first offended and the quickest to forgive. God holds no grudges and wants to clean up the mess and help us get back on the road.

“But if we confess our sins to him, he can be depended on to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. And it is perfectly proper for God to do this for us because Christ died to wash away our sins.” 1 John 1:9 Living Bible

If you find it continues to be an ache in your heart, you may find it helpful to talk it over with a trusted friend who will keep your conversation in complete confidence. “Confession” for the absolution of sin is made to God, not a man. The confession implied for us is to uncover something secret, share it with another we trust, who will, in turn, confirm to us God has completely covered our sin and things are “right” again between us and God.

I have practiced confession with my wife Lea Ann and a number of trusted friends (you know who you are).

When you “hear” the confession of a friend, put the judge and critic in you aside. Look at the log in your own eye, pause, and invite God into your heart asking Him for the grace to listen. Your job is to listen to what your friend has to say, remind them the sin is forgiven (1 John 1:9), and offer a Prayer of Remembrance. Keep it short. Use this as a framework:

Oh Father, here we are, two broken people. My friend has talked to you about this so it’s no surprise to You and You have already wiped the slate clean, forgiven completely, and my friend sits here with You holding nothing against them. Thank You Jesus for taking the hit. I bind the enemy from spewing guilt and shame on my friend. Thank You Holy Spirit for your comfort and encouragement in the deepest part of my friend's heart. Amen

“...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 NASB

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.” John 8:7 NIV

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Pray

Yikes God, this sounds daunting! Tell someone else -- my spouse -- what I’ve done!!!! What if they hold it against me, shame me, and instead of reminding me I’m forgiven they ask for a divorce??? And God, help me to “hear” a confession by my spouse or friend in a way of tenderness and compassion for the ground is level at the cross. Amen

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