Crimelords switch it up for the plague era, says our underworld correspondent. Is it time to wear Halloween costumes every day? Return of the curtain twitchers: rural edition. Can I have a robot dog? Listen and then follow us for tweets and instant grams. 

Are haunted houses now necessary to enforce the lockdown? Alex Jones the establishment mascot. Can you really have a party on the Internet? Richard Branson challenges Martin Shkreli for the rat king crown. Listen and then follow us for tweets and instant grams. 

Will Boris Johnson's gratitude to the NHS last longer than his promises to it? How fire bellied toads are tapping into a black market for crickets. Our man on the street says the bug means new opportunities for the homeless. And Donald Trump has a go at sweet talking the plague. Listen and then follow us for tweets and instant grams. 

The bug takes a shot at the PM but appears to have missed. Why are tigers in New York using 5G? If this is our WW2 - are sunbathers the enemy? And have we played the Queen card too soon? Find out here.  Listen and then follow us for tweets and instant grams. 

We're bored, terrified, and confused. But we don’t want the bug to know that. This week we're all about conspiracies, curtain twitchers, Jeff Bezos, Joe Wicks and Corbyn. Put it on, and leave it on. 🦠🔫 Follow us for tweets and instant grams.