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If dependency is not a bad word, nobody told Michelle and me. Since we were children our mom has implanted us with the mantras: “You must be independent”, “Never depend on a man”, etc.
Immigration to the United States of America probably self-selects for the most independent-minded people and we were brought up in an entire family of freedom lovers.
Independence has served us well. We were eager to start working and provide for ourselves. We were eager to learn about financial independence. Did someone say we could be free from even outside sources of income? Count us in.
So what’s the only problem with independence? The fact that none of us are truly independent. We rely on others for social support, mentoring, financial security, diverse perspectives, new ideas, inspiration, and more.
In the book Attached, the authors discuss how depending on another person like a romantic person can provide security that can allow for more creativity and adventure. Ironically, the sense of safety that comes from relationships provides us with more freedom in our lives.
This week Michelle and I discuss how dependence can be beneficial and how actions like being vulnerable and expressing your needs can help create a mutualistic relationship.
Show Notes:
Community Time
AirHelp: Partner For This Episode
Check out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate Link.
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
What can the dying teach us about how to live our lives? This week we replay our episode with Doc G, a hospice doctor, who wrote the book Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life.
Our conversation with Doc G inspired me to think about how I am living my life. I stumbled upon this article I wrote last year on my blog. At that time, I had just recovered from my thyroidectomy and I was thinking a lot about how I was living vs how I wanted my life to look.
I had made a schedule of what my current week looked like and what my “dream week’ would look like. Listening to this week’s episode with Doc G made me appreciate how we can be so reluctant to change our lives even though those changes will make our day-to-day so much better.
When I created this “dream week” schedule, I thought I was dreaming too big. There was no work in my schedule at all. Is that ok? Was it fair? Was it safe? Maybe I could live that way for a few months but not forever, right?
When I read this piece again, I was shocked to see that I am living the dream life I imagined one year ago. Though it is cliche, life truly is short. We don’t have much time to waste being dissatisfied. Reflecting on my previous schedule, I can’t imagine giving up that much of my time today. As Doc G puts it, if you imagine yourself on your deathbed saying- I wish I had the courage, energy or time to… what comes after that?
Show Notes:
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
I remember reading Shonda Rhimes's Year of Yes shortly after moving to San Francisco. In the book, Rhimes discusses how she spent a year saying yes to every invitation, request, and opportunity to play with her children that came her way. She found the experience brought her so much joy as well as new friendships and opportunities. What did I feel when I read this book? Guilt.
I felt guilty because I did not want to say yes. I was tired. At that time, I had a total three-hour commute and loads of paperwork after the workday. The last thing I wanted to do was say yes to anything extraneous.
Michelle and I have realized that life comes with seasons of expansion as well as seasons of contraction, seasons of yes, and seasons of no. In our seasons of yes we bring in new friendships, new hobbies, new opportunities, and new experiences. We remember these seasons fondly as times when we were exploring.
Just as important is the season of no. Derek Sivers puts it eloquently in his piece “No yes. Either Hell Yeah! or no”. Seasons of no are about clearing the calendar, the mind, and the home. No to everything extra! Hell yes or no is minimalism applied to our lives. Our “no’s” create moments of stillness, quiet, and boredom where new insights and ideas grow and flourish. We see this with the collective calendar clearing brought on by COVID-19. Many people report they found clarity in their purpose and direction when they were forced to do less.
What season are you in right now? Yes or no? What insights are you finding from this season of your life? Leave a comment at https://www.buildawealthyspirit.com/p/are-you-in-a-season-of-yes-or-a-season
Show Notes:
Community Time
AirHelp: Partner For This Episode
Check out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate Link
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
What if you could change from the negative to the positive without changing anything about your circumstances? No, this is not a multi-level marketing scheme! The key is changing our perspective. I remember when I was in my early twenties I would rarely have more than a few hundred dollars and I never felt any scarcity about this. When I think back on this I’m shocked. A flat tire, a broken arm, an unexpected night at a hotel could have demolished all my wealth, and yet I was walking around with no sense of insecurity.
Reflecting on my twenty-year-old self, I realized that our sense of financial security exists solely in our minds. What if I could re-channel the abundance mindset that I naturally carried in my twenties?
This week Michelle and I discussed strategies to change our perspective so we can radiate abundance and draw in all forms of wealth.
Here are our strategies:
Show Notes:
Community Time
AirHelp: Partner For This Episode
Check out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate Link
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
Here are the 5 parasocial relationships I have decided to surround myself with:
Check out the HYPRfocus Podcast by our previous guest Harris! If you like self-optimization and hearing inspiring stories about other people’s lives you will love Harris’ podcast Hyprfocus- she's hilarious and insightful.
Show Notes:
Community Time
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
Law of Attraction is a great way to start visualizing and manifesting your dreams. However, sometimes we are blocking ourselves without even realizing it. Sammie and Michelle dive into Law of Attraction, how to clearly visualize what you want and blockers they ran into.
Show Notes:
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Check out our partner: Click here to try AirHelp!
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
Show Notes:
Community Time
AirHelp: Partner For This Episode
Check out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate Link
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
My sabbatical has been a journey inward. I deeply appreciate how we arrive at this “earth school”, Byron Katie’s words, to break the disruptive thought patterns that otherwise play out repeatedly. For many years, I’ve enjoyed meditation in calming the mind and recognize thought patterns, but sometimes I need a little extra help when I am deep in my emotions.
This is where I have found The Work of Byron Katie extremely helpful. Byron Katie uses four simple questions and their turnarounds to help us discover how we may be thinking in a way that brings us stress.
Before answering the questions write down your belief and sit in the moment where you most strongly experienced the negative emotion.
Turnarounds: Then turn the belief around in as many ways as you can. (Examples really help with this, check out this week’s episode or the Byron Katie Podcast- At Home with Byron Katie- for examples).
Show Notes:
Community Time
AirHelp: Partner For This Episode
Check out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate Link
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
Michelle and I first heard about taking a sabbatical in 2017 from a woman at Artesa Winery in Sonoma pictured above. This is the first time we had heard of anyone taking a long break from work. The woman, of Indian heritage like us, inspired us by her easygoing approach to life. She mentioned nothing about her previous work life and nothing about plans to return to work. She was simply enjoying each day with her sweet German husband as they traveled the world.
It would be three years before we discovered FIRE or started planning for our own work breaks, but this moment sticks in both our memories as a brief insight into a potential future reality that we had never considered. Though we were deep in our consumeristic ways and would continue to be for a few more years, that meeting felt like a premonitory vision of what could be if we took a different path.
This week we take a look at the two popular ways to escape the rat race: sabbaticals and the financial independence retire early (FIRE) movement. Is one better than the other? Is there a better fit for you in your personal finance journey?
References Made In This Episode:
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
We received this piece entitled “Millennials want to retire by 60. Good luck with that.” from Michael, a listener of this podcast who wanted to know our thoughts. This piece, published in USA Today, reflects the click-bait content that is out there to scare people while not providing guidance on how to make changes.
In this episode, Michelle and I go through this piece and point out the flaws in the article. We also talk about how to think about whether we can retire or not using well-studied research like the Trinity Study and data about our individual spending and saving patterns.
We target this piece, not because it is unique, but because so much information is out there that is meant to inflame without benefitting the reader. Have you seen a piece, TikTok, Youtube video, Instagram post, etc. that has done this? Post in the comments below so we can all evaluate it together.
Show Notes:
Community Time
AirHelp: Partner For This Episode
Check out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate Link
Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!
From the publisher's feed
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