Send Cathy a text:)

When elephants sense danger, they form a protective circle with the most vulnerable in the center—a powerful metaphor for how caregivers need their own support systems. Drawing inspiration from this natural phenomenon, I explore the emotional barriers that prevent us from building our own protective circles while sharing my personal journey preparing for my husband Dennis's upcoming 90-day stem cell transplant.

For many caregivers, especially those with achievement-oriented personalities, asking for help feels like failure. I've spent decades being the perfectionist who folds towels just so, organizes the dishwasher according to precise systems, and insists on cutting the lawn a specific way. These control tendencies create barriers to accepting the support we desperately need. Whether it's guilt over "burdening" others, perfectionism that whispers "no one can do it as well as you," or fear of losing control, these emotions ultimately harm both the caregiver and their loved one.

Your inner circle serves multiple critical purposes—providing emotional support from people who truly understand your situation, protecting your energy for the caregiving marathon, and keeping you grounded in joy and perspective beyond your caregiving role. Building this network requires intentional steps: mapping out specific support roles, starting with small requests, mixing personal encouragement with practical assistance, scheduling regular check-ins, and celebrating wins together.

Throughout this episode, I share practical strategies from my own experience—creating a private Facebook group for coordinated support, preparing for hospital celebrations from afar, and learning to express gratitude without guilt. The question isn't whether you need help, but rather: what small thing could you ask your inner circle to do for you this week, and who will you reach out to first? Remember, opening up isn't weakness; it's an act of courage and self-love that transforms caregiving from a lonely burden into a connected journey.

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