Cheryl (67) and Michael (69) have built rich, full lives: multiple careers, reinventions, and nearly 12 years of marriage. Yet when it comes to money, they feel stuck. They earn about $120,000 a year, have roughly $600,000 saved, and regularly book $10,000–$15,000 vacations focused on travel, family, and experiences. Then, almost immediately, panic sets in. With mostly separate finances, lingering trust issues from past decisions, and no clear retirement plan, they’re embarrassed to admit that they don’t actually know when (or if) they can retire. Cheryl wants clarity and confidence about the future, while Michael wrestles with fear, guilt, and uncertainty around spending and security. Can Ramit help them stop oscillating between YOLO travel and financial anxiety, and finally create a plan that lets them enjoy life without fear?

In this episode we uncover:

• Why Cheryl and Michael can easily book $10K–$15K vacations, then immediately panic

• How a “dream trip” exposes deeper confusion about what money they actually have access to

• How Michael losing $12,000 from an inheritance investment triggered feelings of betrayal

• Cheryl’s cancer survival and how living with mortality reshaped her urgency to travel, spend, and fully live now

• Michael’s discomfort with seeing money as “real” unless it’s physically accessible

• Why keeping finances mostly separate makes it nearly impossible to feel confident about retirement

• The emotional weight of being the higher earner

• How early family money stories still shape Michael’s decisions today

• Cheryl’s journey from Wall Street wealth to purpose-driven work

• Why spending in retirement feels scarier than earning ever did

• How “YOLO travel” and hyper-frugality coexist

• What their Conscious Spending Plan reveals about low fixed costs, high freedom, and misplaced fear

• Why having a financial advisor still didn’t give them clarity or peace of mind

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “I’m just doing this for Cheryl”

(00:23:13) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:45:23) “If we’re not on the same page, it’ll be an ugly retirement”

(01:08:29) “Am I worth it now—or am I still that kid asking permission?”

(01:10:01) “We never talked about money when we met”

(01:23:10) “If we retire now… will it feel like freedom—or fear?”

(01:36:38) Where are they now? Cheryl and Michael’s follow-ups

This episode is brought to you by:

ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored

Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 20% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners

Factor | Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF with code RAMIT50OFF

Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires December 31, 2025.

Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit

Links mentioned in this episode

• If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Today, we’re revisiting one of our favorite Money For Couples episodes of the year.

Update: Romy and Travis recently shared an update on YouTube about where they are now. You can watch it here. 

Romy and Travis’s story struck a chord with listeners because it shows what really happens when a couple is earning good money…but operating with completely different expectations, habits, and fears around money.

This episode is a perfect example of how old patterns can quietly shape a relationship—and what it takes to break them. If you missed it the first time, or want a refresher, this is one of the most revealing conversations of the year.

In this episode:

• Why Travis believes he can always “go fishing” to make money

• How their childhoods shaped their attitudes toward money

• The emotional weight Romy carries as the only planner

• The story behind Romy’s secret UK savings

• Their unclear approach to buying property

• How disorganized thinking affects everything from taxes to tipping

• The risks of having no real emergency fund

• Why Travis’s role as the “reassurer” holds them back

• How Ramit helps them redefine generosity

• The first steps toward rebuilding trust

Chapters:

00:00 — “I tapped my card and it said insufficient funds”

09:23 — “I’m living the same financial life as my parents”

18:13 — Breaking down their numbers

38:14 — The weight of taking on the “man’s” role

52:48 — “I’ve been poor before—I’ll be poor again”

1:02:08 — Living on hope, not numbers

1:12:05 — “We’re doing this together”

1:28:56 — Where are they now? Romy & Travis

Connect with Ramit

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Jamie (45) and Ryan (36) have been married for nearly a decade and share three kids, but their financial foundation was shaken when Ryan quit his high-paying finance job and cashed out his 401(k) without telling Jamie. Now earning far less, they’re still spending like nothing changed, running up credit card debt and ending each month wondering where the money went. Jamie, the higher earner, is anxious about retirement and trust after years of financial surprises, while Ryan avoids money conversations and struggles with insecurity. Layered on top are a 10-year age gap, deep past trauma, and very different visions of a Rich Life. Can Ramit help them rebuild trust, create a real plan, and finally start acting like partners instead of adversaries?

In this episode we uncover:

• The moment Jamie learned Ryan quit his high-paying job and cashed out his 401(k)

• How Ryan’s breaking point at work led to a “nuclear option” decision that shifted stress from the office straight into their marriage

Why earning nearly $300K still leaves them feeling broke

• The trust fallout from repeated unilateral decisions, including quitting jobs, cashing out retirement accounts, and impulsive purchases

• How Ryan’s spending on shoes, clothes, and even a classic car mirrors patterns he watched growing up

• Jamie’s role as the default financial manager

• The vacation-vs-things blame cycle that keeps them stuck spending instead of saving

• Why hiding money in a separate savings account felt like the only way Jamie could protect their future

• The uncomfortable truth behind their $13K emergency fund

• How calling their own spending “stupid” and “dumb” keeps them trapped in shame instead of change

• The emotional toll of living in constant financial vigilance while still spending freely on convenience and comfort

• How a failed $500 spending rule exposed their lack of shared systems

• The powerful influence of Midwestern money guilt, family secrecy, and conflicting childhood money messages

• Jamie’s past divorce and financial trauma

• The shift from adversaries to collaborators

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “We’ll just go our separate ways”

(00:18:56) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:40:49) “Smart people can make stupid choices”

(00:52:26) “Can we become a team again?”

(01:02:09) “Is this a Rich Life—or just a really long to-do list?”

(01:14:36) “You’ve turned dysfunction into permission”

(01:28:57) “I’m bitter that I have to pay it off”

(01:39:21) Where are they now? Jamie and Ryan’s follow-ups

This episode is brought to you by:

Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist

Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping.

Aura Frames | Use promo code RAMIT to get $35 off the best-selling Carver Mat frames at https://auraframes.com

DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off

Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit

Links mentioned in this episode

• If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Ado (33) and Gabby (32) are exhausted by a cycle they can’t seem to escape: getting into credit card debt, paying it off, and then ending up right back where they started. Now, with $44,000 in credit card balances, student loans on both sides, and an $1,800 monthly daycare bill, they feel one setback away from losing everything.

Ado’s avoidant, live-in-the-moment approach clashes with Gabby’s desire for structure and long-term security. Both come from financially chaotic childhoods, and those old patterns are replaying in their marriage. They dream of moving to Europe and building stability for their young daughter—but can they break the cycle that’s defined their entire relationship?

This episode asks: What will it take for them to finally stop the spiral and create a plan that lasts?

In this episode we uncover:

• Why Ado and Gabby keep finding themselves back in credit card debt

• How their “dance” of overspending, working extra, and then trying to catch up has cost them thousands

• The emotional toll on Gabby as she tries to break a cycle that feels unsustainable

• Why Ramit pushes them to examine their spending through the lens of their daughter watching and learning their habits

• Taking apart their monthly budget line by line

• The $170 date nights, lattes, Costco trips, and Target runs that add up

• Gabby’s realization that overspending isn’t just about Ado

• Ado’s upbringing as a Bosnian refugee, and how frugality, scarcity, and parental sacrifice shaped his desire to enjoy life

• How childhood experiences continue to shape Gabby’s budgeting, anxiety, and need for security today

• How both partners absorb social norms around spending and treat exhaustion as a justification for impulse purchases

• The truth about using their savings account as a checking account

• The staggering $3,075/month they spend on debt payments

• Their dream of moving to Europe being pushed back year after year

• The emotional rupture of realizing one missed paycheck could destabilize everything they’ve built

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “We never tell ourselves no”

(00:17:24) “It’s not just about paying off debt”

(00:33:21) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:48:21) “I feel like it gives me comfort”

(01:02:26) “Money was a weapon”

(01:12:53) “Denial lasts a week, vision lasts a lifetime”

(01:32:00) “Nobody making this much should have credit card debt”

(01:36:45) Where are they now? Ado and Gabby’s follow-ups

This episode is brought to you by:

Aura Frames | Use promo code RAMIT to get $35 off the best-selling Carver Mat frames at https://auraframes.com

Masterclass | Get up to 50% off Masterclass during the holiday season at https://masterclass.com/ramit

Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires December 31, 2025

Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit

Wildgrain | Get $30 off the first box — PLUS free Croissants in every box — at https://wildgrain.com/ramit

Links mentioned in this episode

• Join my event “Becoming Time Rich” on December 18th at 8pm ET. Register at https://iwt.com/timerich

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Karen (45) and Chad (44) built their lives around a high income: buying their dream home in a high-cost city and raising three kids with confidence in the future. But when Chad lost his $340K tech job, everything changed. Three years later, he’s earning half as much, their emergency savings are gone, and they’re borrowing just to stay afloat. Karen lies awake fearing they’re one paycheck away from losing the house, while Chad stays optimistic that a future promotion or windfall will fix everything. Their conversations remain polite but distant, masking deep anxiety, resentment, and two completely different philosophies on money. Can Ramit help them confront reality, reconnect emotionally, and decide whether they can afford to keep the home they love?

In this episode we uncover:

• How Chad’s income dropped by 50% overnight

• The emotional toll of pretending “everything is fine” while secretly fearing they can’t make the mortgage

• Why even buying kids’ necessities fills Karen with guilt

• Why Chad defaults to thinking “maybe we’re just poor for a while”

• The dangerous gap between their public optimism and the reality Karen wrote in her application

• How Karen and Chad communicate like polite coworkers instead of partners

• The childhood roots that shaped their opposing money philosophies

• Why living with zero savings and three children is far more dangerous than Chad realizes

• The breakthrough: shifting from tracking numbers to actually making meaning from their spending and fears

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “We’re one paycheck away from disaster”

(00:17:12) “Here we go again”

(00:26:21) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:37:22) “I’m looking for solutions, not platitudes”

(00:49:47) “Why aren’t you more relaxed with less money?”

(01:01:11) “Is the house on fire?”

(01:19:32) Where are they now? Karen and Chad’s follow-ups

This episode is brought to you by:

Bilt | Join the loyalty program for renters at https://joinbilt.com/ramit

Aura Frames | Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/RAMIT. Promo Code RAMIT

Wispr Flow | Try it for free at https://wisprflow.ai/ramit

Gelt | Skip the waitlist at https://joingelt.com/ramit

Netsuite | Get the free guide “Demystifying AI” at https://netsuite.com/ramit

Links mentioned in this episode

• Design your Rich Life for the New Year at my virtual event. Grab your seat at https://iwt.com/richlifereview

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Alex (34) and Jackie (33) have been married for 11 years, raising four young kids while navigating a financial dynamic that’s been strained for nearly as long. Alex is meticulous and cautious — he’s tracked every expense since 2016 — while Jackie follows her instincts and believes God will provide. But when she secretly enrolled in a $5,000 coaching program and later pushed for a $16,000 photography course, Alex’s trust shattered. Now he feels like he’s carrying the entire financial load, while Jackie feels discouraged and untrusted. Their arguments spill into daily life, even in front of their kids. Can Ramit help them rebuild trust, confront their conflicting money beliefs, and finally create a system that brings peace instead of panic?

In this episode we uncover:

• Why Alex has tracked every dollar since 2016—and how control became his default coping strategy

• Jackie’s belief that “money will come” and the role faith plays in her financial decisions

• How a secret $5,000 coaching purchase shattered Alex’s sense of safety

• The emotional toll of raising four young kids while constantly feeling financially behind

• How Jackie’s childhood of scarcity and inconsistent money messages shaped her impulse-driven spending

• How Alex’s upbringing around saving, stability, and tithing taught him to equate control with security

• Why relying on miracles and unexpected windfalls creates a fragile financial foundation

• Jackie’s desire to feel heard, supported, and validated—instead of managed

• Why Alex feels lonely and burdened in the role of financial gatekeeper

• How a shared money system can shift them from crisis-mode to long-term partnership

• The first steps they take toward rebuilding trust, financial clarity, and a plan they can both commit to

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “Do you trust each other?”

(00:17:40) “We had $300 and no plan”

(00:29:15) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:37:15) “If we just made more, everything would change”

(00:50:52) “I wasn’t taught to dream — just to survive”

(00:58:53) “Hope isn’t a financial strategy”

(01:07:33) “I want the positive behavior without the crisis”

(01:16:36) “The house is on fire”

(01:29:07) “That changes everything”

(01:36:56) Where are they now? Alex and Jackie’s follow-ups

This episode is brought to you by:

Gusto | Try Gusto at https://gusto.com/ramit and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll

Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 30% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners

Factor | Go to https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF and use code RAMIT50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for 1 year

Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit

Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping

Links mentioned in this episode

• If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching.

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Imani (52) and Michael (65) return for Part 2—and this time, Ramit pushes them to find out how fast they can turn things around.

After years of miscommunication, mounting debt, and emotional exhaustion, they’ve finally started tackling their finances together. But when Facet’s retirement scenarios reveal how long their money will really last, they’re forced to confront new tradeoffs: spend less now, retire later, or change their lifestyle entirely. Can Michael step up and lead? Can Imani release control and start dreaming again? Or will their old habits slow their progress before it even begins?

A special thanks to Facet for sponsoring this episode. Right now, Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members. And if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days, they’ll add $300 to your brokerage account. Head to facet.com/ramit to see which membership—Core, Plus, or Complete—is right for you.

(Ramit is not a member of Facet, and he has an incentive to endorse Facet as he has an ongoing fee based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are his own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome.)

In this episode we uncover:

• Why Michael finally decides to take ownership after decades of financial avoidance

• The moment Imani says she’s “tapping out” if things don’t change

• How they discover Michael’s electronics obsession is more than clutter—it’s avoidance

• The shocking realization that their debt payments eat up one-third of their take-home pay

• How selling off $7,000 of electronics became the turning point for their marriage

• What it felt like for Imani to finally let go of control and let Michael lead

• Why teamwork and a clear plan helped them pay off $6,000 in just four weeks

• How both partners confront what “enough” really means

• The couple’s new shared dream: retiring abroad and living a simpler, freer life

Chapters:

(00:00:03) “I’m angry at Michael, I’m angry at myself”

(00:18:03) “I’ve lost the ability to dream”

(00:34:45) “It’s gotta work”

(00:40:17) “I got the fever to start selling stuff”

(00:51:47) “I could see the cloud starting to separate”

(01:06:29) “I feel excited, inspired, energized”

(01:22:39) Where are they now? Imani and Michael’s follow-ups

This episode is brought to you by:

Wispr Flow | Voice-to-text AI that turns speech into clear, polished writing in any app. Try it for free at https://wisprflow.ai/ramit

Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist

MasterClass | For unlimited access to every class and up to 50% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit

ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored

Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit

Links mentioned in this episode

• If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Imani (52) and Michael (65) have been married for 24 years—and they’re drowning in nearly $126,000 of consumer debt despite earning over $250,000 a year.

Imani, a disciplined attorney who tracks every dollar, feels trapped by Michael’s unchecked spending on electronics and his laid-back approach to money. She dreams of travel, freedom, and a life that finally feels generous, while he insists everything’s fine as long as the bills get paid.

With resentment growing and Imani nearing her breaking point, Ramit challenges them to face the truth: Can they pay off their debt, rebuild trust, and start enjoying life again—or are they too stuck in old patterns to change?

A special thanks to Facet for sponsoring this episode. Right now, Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members. And if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days, they’ll add $300 to your brokerage account. Head to facet.com/ramit to see which membership—Core, Plus, or Complete—is right for you.

(Ramit is not a member of Facet, and he has an incentive to endorse Facet as he has an ongoing fee based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are his own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome.)

In this episode we uncover:

• Why Imani regrets combining finances after 20 years of marriage

• How Michael’s promise to “put the money back” reveals a lifetime of avoidance

• The stark contrast between Michael’s military discipline and total lack of structure at home

• What happens when one partner outgrows the other in ambition, discipline, and self-development

• Why Imani admits she’s embarrassed to be in massive debt at her age

• Michael’s habit of buying cars and electronics to celebrate milestones

• How their $268,000 income still leaves them feeling broke, anxious, and behind

• Why Imani clings to control and spreadsheets while Michael tunes out completely

• How both partners confront the question: Can they rebuild trust and create structure before it’s too late?

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “Did you go to Best Buy again?”

(00:17:34) “I don’t think I’ve ever planned anything in my life”

(00:24:43) “Every time we had a kid, he bought a car”

(00:36:48) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:44:33) “We make way too much to be this stressed about money”

(00:56:21) “I don’t want to do life by myself”

(01:10:51) Can a couple this far apart still find common ground?

This episode is brought to you by:

Gusto | Try Gusto at https://gusto.com/ramit and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll

DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off

Notion | Try Notion, now with Notion Agent, at https://notion.com/ramit

Wildgrain | Get $30 off the first box — PLUS free Croissants in every box — at https://wildgrain.com/ramit

LMNT | Get a free 8-count Sample Pack with any LMNT order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT

Links mentioned in this episode

• Join my Money Coaching program for monthly help: https://iwt.com/moneycoaching

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Samantha (36) and Kevin (41) have been together for seven years, but their financial lives couldn’t look more different. He’s a high earner with $800,000 in investments and a paid-down mortgage. She’s still carrying student loans, car payments, and lingering shame about being “behind.” While Kevin saves methodically for the future, Samantha prefers to spend on experiences—especially travel—leaving him questioning whether their financial priorities will ever align. Beneath the surface, neither of them has truly learned how to talk about money without shutting down. Can Ramit help them move from avoidance and resentment to shared goals and real plans for the future?

A special thanks to Ultraspeaking, who worked with Samantha and Kevin to help them communicate more effectively as a couple. Ultraspeaking is the fastest and most effective way to become a great communicator. Learn more here.

In this episode we uncover:

• Why Samantha believes she’ll never be “financially good enough” for Kevin

• How their shared avoidant tendencies have allowed them to avoid financial planning for years

• How their unspoken expectations around “fairness” create tension

• Samantha’s logic for not paying rent or mortgage

• How Kevin’s quiet resentment built up after Samantha didn’t use the housing savings to pay down debt

• The real cost of their “guilt-free” spending, including $15,000/year on vacations

• Why Samantha still feels broke, despite earning $148,000 a year

• Samantha’s fears about not meeting Kevin’s expectations in retirement

• The stark contrast between their savings: Samantha has one month of expenses, Kevin has six

• How Samantha inherited a “spend it if you have it” mindset from her parents

• Kevin’s fear of loss from divorce and why he avoids fully committing financially

• The role of therapy in helping them rebuild communication and trust

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “I’ll never be financially good enough for Kevin”

(00:13:39) “I feel like I have no say because he owns the house”

(00:27:08) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:37:44) “I still feel like I’m only making $50,000”

(00:43:59) “Money burned a hole in my pocket”

(01:03:09) “That’s the bed I made and I will lie in it”

(01:08:25) “Closing doors is hard…but staying stuck is harder”

(01:15:59) “It’s not about catching up — it’s about building together”

(01:37:50) Where are they now? Samantha and Kevin’s follow-ups

This episode is brought to you by:

NetSuite | Download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://netsuite.com/ramit

Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit

Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist

DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off

Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you

Links mentioned in this episode

• If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Edward (38) and Ellen (30) live in Hawaii with their young daughter and a new baby on the way. With a net worth of over $2 million, their finances look strong on paper, but behind the scenes, their marriage is strained by control, fear, and trust issues around money.

Edward manages every dollar, while Ellen has to ask for “permission” to spend, even on basic everyday items. He believes tight control protects their future, making her feel more like a child than a partner. As Edward grapples with his deep fear of losing everything, Ellen wants to step into her own financial power. Can they learn to trust each other and build a partnership where both voices are heard, or will control and fear continue to drive their financial decisions?

In this episode we uncover:

• Why Ellen calls their financial dynamic “like asking my dad for permission”

• How Edward’s fear of poverty leads to hyper-control over their money

• Why Edward compares their finances to the top 1%

• Ellen’s $8,000 home birth decision

• How Ellen avoids learning their finances to sidestep arguments

• The emotional legacy of Edward’s childhood poverty and Ellen’s early financial security

• Their definition of a “traditional marriage”

• Why they fight about $20 face cream despite earning $28K/month

• The weight of Edward’s “provider” identity

• Their Hawaii “dream home” vs. the financial pressure it created

• Their shared craving for safety and control

• Ellen’s realization that she’s been playing financial defense instead of building real skills

• Edward’s hope to teach their daughter financial independence

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “It feels like I’m asking for permission”

(00:16:10) “I’m in charge of the budget”

(00:23:09) “I had just come into a million dollars”

(00:34:29) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:51:41) “I don’t think he trusts me at all”

(00:56:49) “I will never be poor again”

(01:07:01) “When do we get to live like we’re wealthy?”

(01:17:38) “I shrink myself to please him”

(01:39:10) Where are they now? Ellen and Edward’s follow-ups

This episode is brought to you by:

Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit

Factor | Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF with code RAMIT50OFF

Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you

ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored

Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 20% off sitewide PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners

Links mentioned in this episode

• If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Get Money Coaching with Ramit

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

If you make good money but you haven’t taken a real vacation in years, I want to talk to you. I'm casting couples for a special episode of the podcast. Apply this week only at iwt.com/apply.