Send us Fan Mail
Here's something I didn't expect when I started competing:
Some of the most important moments of a bodybuilding show don't happen on stage.
They happen backstage.
Sitting on the floor waiting for your class.
Someone helping you with your suit.
Borrowing a band.
Sharing a snack.
Getting a compliment from the competitor you're secretly intimidated by.
Having a five-minute conversation with someone who has been doing this way longer than you—and walking away thinking, Okay... I needed to hear that.
We spend months preparing for the few minutes we're going to be standing in front of the judges.
But some of the people you meet behind that curtain can influence your journey for years.
That's what we're talking about today.
Backstage is where champions are made—not because of posing, but because of people.
INTRO
Welcome back to The Competitor's Debrief.
I'm Brittney, and this is the place where we talk about everything we can learn from competition—the things that went right, the things that went sideways, the things nobody warned us about, and all those little moments we don't want to forget once the tan fades.
If you've been following along with the Post-Show Debrief & Reflection Journal, today we're getting into the Backstage Notes section.
And there's one question I really want you thinking about throughout this episode:
What conversation changed your weekend?
Not necessarily some huge, life-changing conversation.
It might have been one sentence.
One compliment.
One piece of advice.
One person who made you feel like you belonged there.
PART ONE: THE PEOPLE YOU THOUGHT WERE YOUR COMPETITIONOne of the weirdest things about bodybuilding is that we call each other competitors.
We're literally standing next to each other being compared.
And before a show, especially when you're newer, it's really easy to build people up in your head.
And suddenly this person you've been comparing yourself to becomes a human being.
Maybe even a friend.
That's one of the things I love about this sport.
Yes, we compete against one another.
But we can also root for one another.
Someone else's success does not have to take anything away from yours.
And the more shows you do, the more familiar faces you start seeing.
And suddenly you're not just showing up at a bodybuilding competition.
You're showing up somewhere you know people.
That's community.
PART TWO: YOUR BACKSTAGE PEOPLENow, not every backstage interaction is going to turn into a lifelong friendship.
And it doesn't need to.
Sometimes somebody is just your person for that day.
Maybe someone explains what's happening because it's your first show and you're completely lost.
Maybe you realize another competitor is alone and you become that person for her.
That's important too.
We talk so much about what we can get from community that sometimes we forget to ask:
What am I bringing to it?
Can I encourage someone?
Can I answer a question?
Can I make somebody laugh?
Can I introduce myself instead of sitting quietly in the corner?
And yes, fellow introverts, I know.
Sometimes sitting quietly in the corner sounds fantastic.
But I've learned that some of my favorite experiences have happened because somebody was willing to say hello.
Sometimes that somebody has to be me.
PART THREE: ASK THE QUESTIONThis might be one of the biggest lessons I've learned through bodybuilding:
Ask questions.
Especially when you're new.
You do not get bonus points for pretending you know what you're doing.
Look around that backstage area.
There are competitors who have done ten shows.
Twenty shows.
National shows.
There are coaches.
Posing coaches.
Expediters.
Promoters.
People who understand the sport from completely different perspectives.
Obviously, read the room.
Someone who's thirty seconds away from stepping on stage probably doesn't want to explain peak week to you.
But when the opportunity is there?
Ask.
"What do you wish you knew before your first show?"
"How do you stay calm backstage?"
"What did you change between your last season and this one?"
"Do you have any advice for someone who's still pretty new at this?"
People who love this sport usually love talking about it.
And one good question can save you months—or even years—of figuring something out the hard way.
PART FOUR: FIND MENTORS, NOT JUST PEOPLE YOU ADMIREThere's also a difference between admiring somebody and learning from somebody.
Social media gives us access to incredible athletes.
And inspiration is great.
But mentorship is different.
A mentor doesn't necessarily need to be your coach.
They might be another athlete who's a few seasons ahead of you.
Someone who has figured out how to balance competing with family and work.
Someone who handles winning well.
Someone who handles other placings well.
Pay attention to that one.
Watch how people behave when things don't go their way.
Watch how they talk about judges.
Watch how they talk about other competitors.
Watch how they treat backstage staff.
Watch how they treat beginners.
Physiques can inspire you.
Character can teach you.
Those are the people I want around me.
PART FIVE: THE FIVE-MINUTE CONVERSATIONSWhat conversation changed your weekend?
When you hear "meaningful conversation," you might immediately think it needs to be something deep.
It doesn't.
Maybe another athlete said:
"Your posing looks so much better."
And you've spent months questioning whether you were improving.
Maybe someone told you:
"Enjoy this. It goes so fast."
Maybe a veteran competitor noticed you were panicking and explained exactly where you needed to be.
Maybe you met someone you've followed online for years and discovered she's even kinder in person.
Maybe somebody said something that challenged the way you were thinking.
Or maybe you were the person who said something another competitor needed to hear.
Those tiny conversations are so easy to forget.
That's exactly why I put this section in the journal.
Write them down.
ONE THING I DIDN'T EXPECTI didn't expect the community to become such an important part of why I love bodybuilding.
You go into this sport thinking about your physique.
Your goals.
And then somewhere along the way, you realize you're collecting people too.
People you look forward to seeing at shows.
People you message afterward.
People who understand why you're excited about things that the rest of the world probably doesn't understand at all.
And people who inspire you to keep learning.
For someone who can be pretty introverted, that's been one of the coolest surprises.
Because backstage gives you an easy starting point.
We already have something in common.
We're all weird enough to voluntarily cover ourselves in spray tan, eat out of Tupperware, glue a bikini to our bodies, and stand half naked under extremely bright lights while strangers judge our glutes.
So...
we can probably find something to talk about.
PART SIX: DON'T NETWORK. CONNECT.Be curious about people.
Ask their name.
Ask where they're from.
Ask if this is their first show.
Celebrate them.
Listen.
And if you genuinely connect?
Stay connected.
It takes thirty seconds.
And you never know what friendship might start there.
JOURNAL TIME: YOUR BACKSTAGE DEBRIEF.If you have the journal, open to your Backstage Notes.
And if you don't have it, grab your Notes app or a piece of paper.
Who did I meet?
Who inspired me?
Who do I want to stay connected with?
What conversations stood out?
What advice did I receive?
Am I going to do anything with it?
Because collecting advice and applying advice are two very different things.
THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGEPick one person from your last competition.
And send them a message.
You don't need a paragraph.
Just:
"Hey, I've been reflecting on the show and wanted you to know I really appreciated ______."
That's it.
Tell people when they've made an impact on you.
We don't do that enough.
CLOSING THOUGHTWe spend so much time in bodybuilding trying to build something.
But don't forget to build relationships too.
Because years from now, you probably won't remember every callout.
But you'll remember people.
Keep asking questions. Keep learning from the people around you.
And most importantly...
be the kind of competitor you would have wanted to meet at your first show.