BullyBuster with Rhonda Orr

This week on episode #4, Annie Mayo, an award-winning – President and founder of Advanced Mineral Makeup since 2009, talks about being different and how that equals being bullied. Annie attended a very strict Catholic school where wearing a uniform usually means having automatic protection from bullies, because the students are not differentiated by socio-economic norms, fashion ideologies, and sometimes religion, to name a few status issues in public schools that cause bullying. Unless … there are other differences (I was bullied just for being new from moving all the time). And in Annie’s case, she and her girlfriend were very tall and thin. In today’s culture, that’s still a dream for many girls – to look like a fashion model. But it was simply “weird,” which is what was said, in her time. Annie talks about the years of hurt that caused her self-worth to be put into question. This week, Annie addresses victimhood in her childhood and parenting differences between then and now. Plus, how she’s facing bullying in today’s culture, simply because of her success and beauty today. That reasoning, goes against all the empowerment platforms that are preached in today’s society, but not yet practiced enough, along with civility which means be caring, considerate and have courtesy.

Today, my guest is Darlene Thompson, a Special Education Teacher at the Yavapai County, Arizona, Juvenile Detention School. She’s been there for 8 years and has her master’s in Special Education.I met Darlene when she invited me to speak to the students, about bullying and my Civility Triangle of Triumph program. My first question to the students was, “Who, here, was bullied or abused?” and every single hand went up. Then, it came as no surprise that many students become bully-victims, usually because of their abuse from family members or others in their lives. Darlene further talks with me about the students’ backgrounds of neglect, abandonment, drug addiction, insidious abuse and bullying, and unhealthy relationships because of the lack of positive adult role models. She points out how kids become gang members and why. And she acknowledges incessant generational cycles of “one-upping and pushing others down.” However, this show isn’t just for moms with daughters that are incarcerated. Bully-victims come from all walks of life and socio-economic upbringing. Darlene shares what happens if parents don’t make significant changes and why her students may need to, ultimately, change zip-codes. Her powerful message to parents and students is to learn what great worth each and every child is and how to create a new life full of hope and real change – positivity.

My guest, Dr. Cheri L. McDonald, who’s a licensed marriage and family therapist and an author, recently published her latest book, "Heal Your Trauma, Heal Your Marriage." Dr. McDonald practices in Westlake Village, California. Dr. Cheri, as she is called in our columns Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri, is talking to me today about how trauma effects our brains and our bodies. And how we can work to create balance and heal our bodies’ trauma. Remember the left side of the brain is the logical and academic side. And the right side is the creative- artistic side of our brain. Dr. Cheri further talks about how PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) needs EMDR treatment (EMDR standing for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). There’s not a test at the end. Don’t worry, it’s not complicated when we discuss it. Dr. Cheri is very real and “down to earth.” I’ve experienced PTSD and EMDR and I can attest to the power that the process gives. I’ve worked with over 70 girls in an all therapeutic- all girls boarding school, many who went through and got the positive benefits of EMDR. We also go into parental bullying in front of their daughters, sexual abuse, woundology, and creating joy!

On this show, we’re going to explore in-depth what bullying and abuse are and the devastating effects they can have on our daughters. The connectivity between bullying and suicide has been confirmed by the CDC. Today, Angie, an adjunctive therapist and mom, is joining me. Angie’s daughter, Callie, a middle-school student, was severely bullied at school and completed suicide. I taught a civility-leadership academy every Monday for five class periods for a semester at her school. I encountered a great lack of civility by their students. Those same students went to her memorial service and didn’t show any kind of reverence towards the loss of this beautiful and sensitive girl. Angie talks about this unfathomable event and how she’s trying to make a difference in our kids’ lives because of Cali’s goodness.

This is the introductory episode of life coach Rhonda Orr’s new podcast, BullyBuster. It’s a weekly show where Rhonda, who has headed up two non-profits dealing with abuse and bulling, helps Moms (and Grandmas) understand what kind of bullying behaviors their girls face in today’s world and how they can help their daughters avoid being bullied. Rhonda knows anyone can be a victim, but the key is not to stay a victim. Using her Triangle of Triumph, Rhonda has taught hundreds of kids how to go from Victim to Survivor to Leader. In this podcast, she will speak to their Moms, giving them tips to assist them in navigating the sometimes confusing world of bullying.