Bumper Testing

Have you ever looked at another marriage and thought: I want what they have? In this program, Chip explains that those types of marriages have learned a very important skill. It may be one of the hardest lessons to learn, but if you can do it, you'll radically transform your relationship. Wanna know what it is? Then don’t miss this next message.

How to resolve conflict peaceably:

I. The command – we are to deal with our mates as Christ deals with us. -Colossians 3:13-15

1. “Bear with one another” – cause of tension
2. “Forgiving one another” – hurt and/or offense
3. “Whoever has a complaint” – personalized, ongoing
4. “Just as the Lord forgave you” – required response
5. “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” – let God be the umpire
6. “Called into one body” – priority of unity
7. “Be thankful” – focus on what we have, not what’s lacking

II. We all respond to “tension” positively or negatively.

III. How to “DIFFUSE” conflict in your marriage

D - DEFINE the problem on your own. -Proverbs 15:14 & 21:2

I - INITIATE a time to talk. -Matthew 5:23-24

F - FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Proverbs 18:19

F - FEEL their pain as though it were your own. -Proverbs 17:17

U - UNCOVER the root problem. -Proverbs 20:5

S - SET things right between you. -James 5:16

E - ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed; write it down. -James 1:22-25

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

Stop the small talk. Chip shares how to move beyond logistics to have genuine heart-to-heart conversations with your spouse starting today.

How to effectively communicate:

I. The command – Put on the proper attire -Colossians 3:12

1. COMPASSION – Empathy to action vs. cynical -Matthew 9:36
2. KINDNESS – Whatever is helpful, beneficial vs. critical -Jeremiah 9:23-24, John 4
3. HUMILITY – Their needs first, posture of a servant -Philippians 2:5-11
4. GENTLENESS – Strength under control, your emotions -Matthew 11:28-30
5. PATIENCE – Endure with a good attitude -2 Peter 3:8-9

II. Why the “clothing” metaphor is crucial to biblical communication

1. “Old clothes” must be taken off. -Colossians 3:8-9
2. The new self requires “new clothes”. -Colossians 3:10-11

The Principle: Who we are determines how we “dress” (communicate from the heart)

III. The problem:

• We have settled for techniques and self-help tools to change how we speak, and to modify our emotions and behaviors to improve compatibility; rather than focusing on the deep-rooted transformation of our hearts which empowers us to give the life-giving love of Christ to our mates.

IV. The solution is threefold:

1. Don’t buy the old lies*

• I am what I have: Possessions
• I am what I accomplish: Performance
• I am what others think of me: Popularity

2. Dress appropriately for your mate

1. A – AFFIRMATION
2. W – WARMTH
3. E – ENCOURAGEMENT

3. Have at least 2 “couples conferences” per week**

1. What are you concerned about?
2. What do you wish?
3. What are you willing to do?

*Discover Your True Self book and Affirmation Cards by Chip Ingram and Theresa Ingram.

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram.

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book
• "The Five Love Languages" Book by Gary Chapman

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

Struggling to connect with your spouse? Join Chip to learn how communication skills can resolve frustration and reflect God’s love in your marriage.

How to effectively communicate:

I. The command – Put on the proper attire -Colossians 3:12

1. COMPASSION – Empathy to action vs. cynical -Matthew 9:36
2. KINDNESS – Whatever is helpful, beneficial vs. critical -Jeremiah 9:23-24, John 4
3. HUMILITY – Their needs first, posture of a servant -Philippians 2:5-11
4. GENTLENESS – Strength under control, your emotions -Matthew 11:28-30
5. PATIENCE – Endure with a good attitude -2 Peter 3:8-9

II. Why the “clothing” metaphor is crucial to biblical communication

1. “Old clothes” must be taken off. -Colossians 3:8-9
2. The new self requires “new clothes”. -Colossians 3:10-11

The Principle: Who we are determines how we “dress” (communicate from the heart)

III. The problem:

• We have settled for techniques and self-help tools to change how we speak, and to modify our emotions and behaviors to improve compatibility; rather than focusing on the deep-rooted transformation of our hearts which empowers us to give the life-giving love of Christ to our mates.

IV. The solution is threefold:

1. Don’t buy the old lies*

• I am what I have: Possessions
• I am what I accomplish: Performance
• I am what others think of me: Popularity

2. Dress appropriately for your mate

1. A – AFFIRMATION
2. W – WARMTH
3. E – ENCOURAGEMENT

3. Have at least 2 “couples conferences” per week**

1. What are you concerned about?
2. What do you wish?
3. What are you willing to do?

*Discover Your True Self book and Affirmation Cards by Chip Ingram and Theresa Ingram.

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram.

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book
• "The Five Love Languages" Book by Gary Chapman

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003

It’s safe to say we all want a great marriage. We all desire a relationship with a deep emotional, mental, and physical connection with our mate. But how do we experience that? Don’t miss the practical ways you can build a lasting relationship with your spouse.

How do you develop spiritual intimacy?

I. Spiritual intimacy with Christ is cultivated by actively believing two things:

1. Whose you are: Chosen -Colossians 1:13-22
2. Who you’ve become: Holy and loved -Colossians 2:9-15

II. Spiritual intimacy with your mate is cultivated by recognizing the supremacy Christ’s role and relationship in your marriage. -Colossians 1:15-18

III. The benefits of spiritual intimacy*

• Allows you to CONNECT at the deepest level.
• Links you with God’s PURPOSES and PLANS for you.
• Allows you to BLESS each other with God’s love.
• Brings your deepest values and desires into agreement.
• Opens the door to the deepest levels of COMMUNICATION.
• Empowers your marriage to SURVIVE.
• Connects you to a SUPPORTIVE body of fellow believers.

*Divorce Proof Your Marriage by Gary and Barbara Rosberg, pgs. 254-256.

IV. How to develop your personal spiritual intimacy**

• ASK God for it. -Col. 1:1-9
• BEWARE of counterfeits. -Col. 2:8-10
• GUARD your thought life. -Col. 3:1-4
• KILL spiritual competitors. -Col. 3:5-7
• SATURATE your life in God’s Word. -Col. 3:16

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram, specific help and practical steps for men and women; chapter 9 for men and chapter 11 for women.

V. Removing barriers and building bridges for spiritual intimacy

• There is no one right way to develop spiritual intimacy
• Pray together
• Worship together
• Share what you’re learning

Broadcast Resource

• Download MP3
• Message Notes

Additional Resource Mentions

• I Choose Love Book
• "Divorce Proof Your Marriage" Book by Gary and Barbara Rosberg

Connect

• 888-333-6003
• Website
• Chip Ingram App
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Partner With Us

• Donate Online
• 888-333-6003