Introduction
LIVE from your ESG USB-C DIY LOL DEI Vape Pen, it’s a Business Pants Friday Show here at October 18th Studios, featuring all of your favorites: AnalystHole Matt Moscardi! On today’s weekly wrap up: Meta employees have acne but don’t call CVS’s Karen Lynch, meth-flavored TikTok, 3-headed CEOs, and even one-headed CEOs named Jamie that love to talk
Our show today is being sponsored by Free Float Analytics, the only platform measuring board power, connections, and performance for FREE.
Story of the Week (DR):
CVS ousts CEO Karen Lynch, names Caremark head as new chief DR MM
CVS Health Corp. named David Joyner as its new chief executive officer, ending a tumultuous tenure for current CEO Karen Lynch at the pharmacy giant.
Longtime executive Joyner, 60, took over Thursday, according to a Friday release. The move comes after the company repeatedly missed earnings targets, setting off unrest among shareholders that spilled into public view in recent weeks.
Last month, major CVS shareholder Glenview Capital began a significant push for changes at the company, CNBC previously reported.
CNBC reported last month that CVS’ board had engaged strategic advisors to weigh its options, including the potential of a breakup of its insurance and retail businesses.
Joyner most recently oversaw the company’s pharmacy services business as president of CVS Caremark, a similar position to the one Lynch held before she assumed the top job in February 2021. He began his career at Aetna in pharmacy benefit services and previously held the role of executive vice president of sales and marketing at CVS Health.
“We believe David and his deep understanding of our integrated business can help us more directly address the challenges our industry faces, more rapidly advance the operational improvements our company requires, and fully realize the value we can uniquely create,” Chairman Roger Farah said in a statement.
Lynch also stepped down from the company’s board of directors this week, the company said Friday. Joyner will take a seat on the board, and Farah will assume the role of executive chairman.
FFA: Karen Lynch (16%) vs. Roger Farah (16%)
Meta fires staff for abusing $25 meal credits
Meta recently fired some employees for misusing a Grubhub meal perk.
Roughly two dozen employees were terminated for abusing the company's meal credit system.
The Grubhub perk is intended to support employees who work at locations where free meals aren't provided by a cafeteria or when employees work late and need food delivered to the office.
Instead of purchasing meals, some Meta employees used the $25 credit to order other items, including laundry detergent, wine glasses, and acne pads, the person familiar with the situation said.
The roughly two dozen staff were fired for a repeated pattern of misuse
Amazon invests in nuclear energy, hot on the heels of Google and Microsoft
Big Tech continues to go nuclear as the artificial-intelligence boom drives energy demand to new heights.
Amazon announced on Wednesday that it's anchoring a $500 million investment for X-energy to develop small, advanced modular nuclear reactors, which would provide carbon-free power for some of its data centers.
Microsoft last month helped advance a plan to reopen the Three Mile Island plant, the site of one of the worst nuclear disasters in US history, and Google on Monday announced a partnership in small-modular-reactor tech with Kairos Power.
A Sam Altman-backed nuclear power stock soared 150% in a month
Paramount Will Allow Its 3 Co-CEOs to Resign and Receive Severance If They Are Demoted
With Paramount Global poised to be taken over by Skydance Media in 2025, the three execs running Paramount as co-CEOs — George Cheeks, Chris McCarthy and Brian Robbins — now have an additional provision in their employment agreements that will let them quit and receive severance benefits if they are demoted from their co-CEO roles.
In addition, Cheeks, McCarthy and Robbins were each awarded grants of $3 million worth of restricted share units
Prior to securing the deal with Skydance, Paramount dismissed former CEO Bob Bakish and formed the three-member Office of the CEO effective as of May 1 comprising: George Cheeks, president and CEO of CBS; Chris McCarthy, president and CEO, Showtime/MTV Entertainment Studios and Paramount Media Networks; and Brian Robbins, president and CEO of Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon.
guaranteed severance payments equivalent to two times their annual base salary plus twice their annual target bonus amount, among other benefits
For Bob Bakish last year that severance would have amounted to nearly $50M
The change in compensation comes at a time when Paramount is aiming to reduce annual costs by $500 million ahead of its merger with Skydance Media. As part of these cost-cutting measures, Paramount started job cuts in August and plans to lay off 15% of its U.S.-based workforce in three phases by the end of the year."
US judge orders Boeing, DOJ to detail diversity policy before deciding on plea
A federal judge on Tuesday ordered Boeing and the U.S. Justice Department to detail the impact of diversity and inclusion policies on the selection of an independent monitor before he decides whether to accept the planemaker's plea deal.
While ordering DOJ and Boeing to respond to a series of questions about the diversity and inclusion policy and how it might affect the selection of an independent monitor, he also pointed out that it was not a disputed facet of the plea agreement.
"Critically, Boeing did not voice any objection to this provision," the judge said in his order.
O'Connor also wants the planemaker to detail how its existing diversity, equity and inclusion policies "are used in its current compliance and ethics efforts."
U.S. District Judge Reed O'Connor held a hearing Friday as he considers whether to approve Boeing's agreement to plead guilty to conspiring to defraud regulators. The deal would include oversight for three years by an independent monitor.
Reed Charles is a United States district judge of the United States District Court for the Northern District of Texas. O'Connor has become a "go-to" favorite for conservative lawyers, as he reliably rules against Democratic policies and for Republican policies.
Elon Musk is bringing lawsuits to Texas. A judge with Tesla stock keeps hearing them
Billionaire Elon Musk seems to have found a new favorite federal judge: Reed O’Connor in Fort Worth, Texas.
Musk’s social media company X has filed two major lawsuits against groups he sees as antagonists, and O’Connor is presiding over both of them, even though none of the parties is based in Texas.
So far, O’Connor has delivered stunningly pro-Musk decisions, which have gained widespread attention.
What has garnered less attention: O’Connor’s investment in Tesla, between “$15,001 and $50,000” of Tesla stock, according to his most recent publicly available financial disclosure filing.
The order is the latest hurdle Boeing faces to avoid a potentially embarrassing trial and plead guilty to misleading the Federal Aviation Administration and violating a 2021 deferred prosecution agreement.
Assholiest of the Week (MM):
SEC charge hinges on director’s lack of ‘social independence’ DR MM
You’re kidding SEC - on average, 20% of every US large cap board is connected inside two degrees JUST FROM OTHER BOARDS
We just covered Parker Hannifin on our show Proxy Countdown and found that 100% of the board worked within 250 miles of one another, and 40% of them were from Ohio!
Where are the regulations on this? If you’re policing social independence, barring directors from future directorships, just because it wasn’t disclosed - NONE OF THEM ARE DISCLOSED!
It can’t be that a former employee of the company like Leslie Kilgore on the Netflix board, who worked under Reed Hastings AT NETFLIX from 2000-2012, can NOW be considered “independent” on a board… WITH FOUNDER REED HASTINGS… and not have a lack of “social independence”?
Digital tobacco
TikTok knew its algorithm harmed kids, accidentally revealed internal documents show
14 states are suing TikTok
35 minutes from starting use of the app to addiction - that’s faster than meth where dependency can take days to weeks
Meta must face US state lawsuits over teen social media addiction
VOTE EVERY DIRECTOR ON A DIGITAL TOBACCO COMPANY BOARD OUT OF EVERY OTHER BOARD THEY SIT ON
There are 40 directors of Alphabet, Meta, Snap, and Pinterest
Those directors have 72 directorships
There are 22 of them that have directorships on other boards
Eliminate OTHER dual class asshole companies, and you have 15 directors to vote out - stop selling digital tobacco or you lose your job
United Airlines (NASDAQ:UAL) Board of Directors Approves Share Buyback Program
Four years ago we bailed out the airlines after UA posted a 6bn loss followed by a 1bn loss
The last year net income declined 15% to less than 1bn
The highest TSR performer on the board that approved this has a history of .488 batting average - meaning they are below average of .500 - and they are the HIGHEST ON THE BOARD
Of the 13 bloated board members, two have earnings batting averages above .500 - the rest are all below .350!
This is one of the worst performing, most interconnected boards in America - and they are spending over $1bn they don’t have to grease the palms of investors
You can send thank you notes to Vanguard (14% of shares) and Primecap (9% of shares) when they stop serving you hot food and force you to sit in an overhead bin
Goodliest of the Week (MM/DR):
DR: Teen tobacco use falls to 25-year low as fewer pick up e-cigarettes
DR: Union petitions skyrocket under Biden, doubling for the first time in 50 years
MM:Supreme Court Allows E.P.A. to Limit Power Plant Emissions
MM: JPMorgan’s Dimon Says Economy ‘Remains Resilient’
Headliniest of the Week
DR: JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon Says We Shouldn't Put Our Heads In The Sand, 'We Have To Find A Better Way To Help The People Who Get Hurt By AI'
Jamie Dimon suggests he'll remain at JPMorgan for a very long time: "I intend to be doing what I'm doing — I almost guarantee I'll be doing this — for a long period of time, or at least until the board kicks me out"
MM: JPMorgan CEO Dimon says cash is very valuable when the future looks ‘treacherous’
Who Won the Week?
DR: 3-headed CEOs
MM: The Shareholder Primacy podcast with Mike Levin and Ann Lipton - Activist Investors Are Podcasters Now
Predictions
DR: Disney’s post-Iger succession planning is to replace him with six-headed CEO:
Chadwick "Chaz" Van Buren III – The overly confident CEO who insists on golfing metaphors during board meetings.
Reginald P. Throckmorton – Always talking about the "good old days" and using phrases like "back in my day."
Wellington "Wells" Haverford – A CEO who embodies the old-school, silver-haired corporate type with a massive corner office.
Bartholomew J. Wainscott – A pompous executive with a fondness for outdated business jargon like "synergy" and "paradigm shift."
Milton C. Kensington – Known for his oversized suits, outdated tech skills, and resistance to change.
Horace F. Farnsworth – The CEO who refuses to retire, always seen with suspenders and a comb-over.
MM: Kids start playing a new game called “Jamie Says” in which a kid says something louder and louder and everyone else called “the reporters”, writes them down furiously
