But What If I Tried Acting?

Wait did we watch an actual good movie for this podcast!? Join us for our discussion of Top Five, where we go over our own music lists, the psychological toll of black celebrity, and Green Day. Special guest appearances by Grimes and Leftist Vinnie Jones.

It's The Bleeding! The DMX answer to Underworld and The Fast and the Furious that you don't want to watch. Fast cars, hot chicks, and vampires BRUH! Sanchez and Butler had some fun with it. Garth did not.

It's the 2008 Special!! We, and by "we" we mean Garth, killed ourselves to watch four DMX movies for you. We watched Death Toll, Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent, Last Hour, and Lords of the Street. They were all really weird and bad. You're welcome.

 It took some of us 7 hours, but we all managed to watch Father of Lies. What did we learn? Low budget film making is hard, especially when you don't spend money on sound, lighting, and high quality editing. We also learned not to trust shady businessmen who want to set up an elaborate scam for you including Middle East banking systems.

Never Die Alone? More like never watch this movie, amirite? DMX plays a despicable human being, David Arquette is a culture vulture and there's not enough Aisha Tyler or Luenell in this movie. Also, it's Butler's turn to have not amazing audio. Thanks technology!

We watched Cradle 2 the Grave, and DMX punched a cop and drove an ATV straight into our hearts! Join us as we discuss lasers, mismatching lingerie, and (*sigh*) MMA. The outro cover of Ruff Rider's Anthem was performed by Butler's sister Haley, who very much knows how to play piano, and Butler herself, who less than knows how to play recorder. Also, we finally fixed Garth’s audio!

Steven Segal sucks. DMX is a tech billionaire? Also, Garth's audio is still messed up.

In the dawning of the new millennium, DMX “avoids” sophomore slump with Romeo Must Die! Join us, as we discuss teeny tiny Matrix glasses, the gentrification of the Bay Area waterfront, and crabs. Garth’s audio is still messed up.

Citizen Kane. Seven Samurai. Belly. Join us, as we induct this new GOAT into the pantheon with a discussion of Y2K, the differences between strip clubs and normal clubs with topless women, and Ben Shapiro’s fart face. Also, Garth’s audio is messed up.

Do you love Dolly Parton in 9 to 5? How about Jennifer Lopez in Selena? Or Method Man in How High? So do we! Join us for our new podcast, But What if I Tried Acting?, a show where we explore the filmographies of our favorite singers, rappers, and musicians.

For our first season, we will cover humanitarian, role model, and famously law abiding citizen DMX! We’ll cover his music career. We’ll summarize plot. We’ll discuss our aggressive nitpicks, question costume design choices, reflect on the overall sucky aura of Steven Seagal, and so much more!

We’re excited for you all to join us on this journey through the DMX Cinematic Universe. We’ll talk about movies, we’ll talk about acting, we’ll talk about extremely problematic past behavior and lyrics. It’ll be a grand ol’ time! Check us out on Apple podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you find your podcasts every Tuesday. See you there!