But Where Are You Really From?: An Asian-American Struggle

Are polyamory and open relationships becoming popular in modern society?!

...or is the media just presenting it that way and enabling problematic people to co-opt the concept of polyamory to justify their bad behaviors (i.e., cheating, using people, etc.)?

Inspired by a recent read of the New Yorker article entitled "How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?" by Jennifer Wilson, we discuss what we think about all of this.

How about you, listeners? Have you noticed a rise in polyamorous relationships within your social circles, or seen people use polyamory as an excuse to act on selfish desires? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

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It's the Year of the Dragon y'all and we're looking to tap into that energy of success, power, luck, and excellence as we wade through the new changes that 2024 has to bring.

In this episode, we share our respective big new life updates - namely that Angela has decided that she'll be moving to Japan in 2 years, and Jesse is imminently moving in with his boyfriend!

What's new for you listeners in 2024 that you want to tap into that dragon energy for? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

The end of the year means that we're at the start of a fresh new

Coming into the holidays, we've decided to reflect on how we've

Finally, we wish all of our listeners a wonderful holiday and a happy new year. We're going on break with our hearts full of love from your support, and we'll see you with fresh new topics soon!

And, if you'd like to share, we'd also love to hear some of the things you'll be tackling in the new year, or if you have a new

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What do you get when you take a Hong Kong-born kid, move him to New Zealand for the next 13 years, and then have him cross over the ocean to the US as an adult? ... this episode's guest, Henry!

You, our dear listeners, asked us to share more and different types of Asian diaspora stories beyond the US, and we listened! In this episode, we hear about Henry's story of identity and finding himself.

How did Henry's experience growing up in New Zealand, learning a perfect "Kiwi" accent differ from his mom's experience of finding comfort in the fully immigrant neighborhoods she could blend more fully into?

How connected to Hong Kong did Henry feel, having been born there, being able to speak Cantonese fluently, and visiting every year, while spending the majority of his formative years immersed in the western culture of New Zealand?

And why is he so heated about Americanized Chinese food?! We compare how Chinese food is seen, referred to, and appreciated by your everyday Kiwi vs. your average American.

What parts of Henry's experience resonates with you the most? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section, or in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

What made a white college kid from the midwest decide to move to the other side of the world to live in China?!

In this episode, we're joined by Nick Anderson, an LA-based Mandarin teacher who spent his formative young adult years living in China and other Asia-Pacific countries learning and teaching Mandarin.

We talk about what that experience was like, compounded with his experience coming out and living his best life as a gay man while abroad. Despite what many may think, Nick's experience being gay in China was overall quite positive - although, we discuss how that experience contrasts with local queer people who are more subjected to the local cultural norms, pressures, and regulations.

After his many years abroad and his ongoing work helping individuals, businesses, moviemakers, and more understand the Chinese culture and language, Nick continues to have a strong passion for and connection to Mandarin and the various cultures that the language bridges.

If you're interested in working with or connecting with Nick, check out his website, his Mandarin-based Discord community, and TikTok at the below links:

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Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @whereareyoufrompod

Have you ever wondered what parenting in 2023 looks like? Are more parents disciplinarians or have more parents found their way to gentle parent?

Our topic in this episode, gentle parenting, is a newer approach to raising children. Instead of the more traditional authoritarian approach that we were raised by in our own childhoods, gentle parenting parents approach their children with more empathy and focus on letting the child express their emotions.

Does it sound a little new-age to you? While we love the idea of gentle parenting in theory, we have our own reservations about it in practicality. We talk through how our parents' more traditional parenting styles, while troublesome in its own right, also gave us ammunition in challenging areas of life. We also chat about how our personalities would mesh with the idea of gentle parenting if we were to apply it to our own future children.

Have you practiced gentle parenting before? What are some pros and cons to this approach? Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Finding new friends is challenging at any age, but it seems to get

As we age out of experiences and environments that are more conducive to socialization (i.e., school), we naturally find less opportunities to make friends. Even in areas like the workplace, most people seem less open to making friends outside of certain environments.

We also find that we are more conscious of the people we make friends with. We focus on finding connection over quantity, and we are inclined to not take a risk on a new friend if we don't think it's worth it. But that doesn't stop us from continuing to try and find new connections - whether at parties, cultural events, or just in our day-to-day lives.

Where have you found success in finding new friends? Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Modern science has truly come a long way with regards to fertility and alternative ways to start families. However, even with these science-aided options like surrogacy and egg freezing/IVF, women are still forced to think about their options with regard to whether or not they want to have children when they are in their mid 20s to mid 30s.

Since Angela is in this age range currently and has many friends who have either already had kids or have gone through science-aided options, this topic is very top of mind for her - hence, this episode!

We discuss what we think about surrogacy and egg freezing, our personal and friends' experiences with these options, and also the unnecessary taboos and judgments people have around these alternatives and the ways that parents choose to go about their lives before and after a child's birth (i.e., going back to work vs. being a stay at home parent).

Are you already a parent or thinking of having children in the near future? What has society tried to shame you for about this process? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in the comments of our social media so we can commiserate!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Even though we're pushing towards our mid-30s, finding a healthy sense of self and self-worth can still be challenging.

Sense of self and self-worth can be tied to the different types of validation we look for in life. Some of that validation comes from external factors - career, relationships, and personal history. Other types of validation come from within - peace with yourself, satisfaction with your achievements, and self-compassion.

We talk about how all of these things have affected our own sense of self and self-worth. We also take a look at how growing up in an Asian household may have affected self-affirming behaviors. And finally, we each share a strategy we employ to help build ourselves up.

What's something that you do to help increase your self-worth? Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

It's time to get scary again!

Since y'all loved our scary stories from Asia episode last year, we're coming back at you with new stories from the Eastern world! Grip the edge of your seat as Jesse recounts the haunting adventures of a Taiwan-based shaman. Will he successfully help out a distressed young man, or will he be caught up by the paranormal activity himself?

Feel your breath catch in your lungs as Angela takes us on a horrifying taxi cab journey based in Korea. Is the mysterious passenger the driver picks up what they seem to be, or is there something sinister lurking beneath?

If you've ever had any interesting paranormal encounters (or have heard from someone else), write us in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Have fun and stay safe this Halloween y'all!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

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Credit: Jesse's story (Reddit user: palpatine88888), Angela's story (Reddit story: "My First Day As A Taxi Driver in Korea")