But You Look So Good

Anxiety can feel very different when you live with a chronic illness. When your body has become unpredictable, your nervous system can begin to stay on high alert — scanning for symptoms, preparing for worst-case scenarios, and struggling to fully relax.

In this episode, we explore the relationship between chronic illness and anxiety through a psychological lens. We discuss hypervigilance, uncertainty, medical trauma, health anxiety, and why anxiety often makes sense in the context of living with an unpredictable body. We also share practical and compassionate strategies to help manage anxiety without minimising the very real experiences that can drive it.

Links 

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

 What does it take to keep going when your body, your career, and your identity all shift at once? In today's episode, we sit down with Amy, a doctor from the UK who has lived that very question. Her story begins in 2011 weeks before her wedding when she woke up, unable to feel half her body as a doctor. She suspected multiple sclerosis. Getting anyone to take her seriously was another story. 

We follow her through years of symptoms. She pushed aside a clinically isolated syndrome diagnosis, and then 2020 when long COVID left her bedridden with dangerously low oxygen levels and unable to work. What followed was loss on multiple fronts, her job, her partnership, and a close friendship. 

Amy speaks openly about the PTSD that followed the grief of losing a career she loved and the slow, messy process of rebuilding. She also reflects on how becoming a patient changed the way she practices medicine and the advocacy work. She's since stepped into speaking up for those with invisible chronic illness, a conversation about illness identity, and finding your way through it.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

Fatigue is one of the most common—and misunderstood—parts of living with a chronic illness. In this episode, we unpack what fatigue really is (hint: it’s not just being tired), why it happens, and why it can feel so unpredictable and overwhelming. Drawing on both our clinical work and lived experience, we explore the physical, cognitive, and emotional layers of fatigue—and the science behind it.

We also revisit themes from our early episode “I get tired too”, where we looked at the impact of comparisons and (mostly) well-meaning misunderstandings.

Most importantly, we share practical ways to explain fatigue to others—so you can feel better understood, set clearer boundaries, and reduce that frustrating gap between how you feel and how you’re perceived.

Whether you live with fatigue or support someone who does, this episode will help make the invisible, visible.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

 What does it feel like to be 35 years old, living abroad, building a career you love, and then having a doctor tell you in five minutes that you have Parkinson's disease? Today's guest, Devon, was doing exactly that, working in refugee protection across the globe when a small tremor in her right hand at a late night dinner in Greece changed everything. In this conversation, Devin opens up about what it's really like to live with early onset Parkinson's. The shock of a diagnosis that most people don't face until their sixties, the years of quietly carrying it, while continuing to do deeply meaningful work and the tension between what others see and what's happening underneath. She reflects on identity being viewed differently and what it's like to move through the world when your life no longer fits the expected timeline and how she's been making sense of that in her own way. We hope you enjoy.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

Ever feel like you’re doing the same things as everyone else… but it somehow costs you more? Welcome to the disability tax. In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack the invisible price of living with a chronic health condition — and spoiler: it’s not just about money.

We’re talking energy, time, mental load, emotions, identity, and yes, the literal financial hit too. From the effort it takes just to leave the house, to the constant background calculations of “can I do this and what will it cost me later?” — this episode names the stuff so many people feel but struggle to explain.

Because when it’s unnamed, it often turns into guilt, shame, or feeling “behind.”

This is your reminder: you’re not failing — you’re carrying more.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

There’s a thought that shows up at some point for most people living with a chronic illness: “This isn’t fair.”

In this episode, we explore where that thought comes from, why it’s so common — especially early on — and why it can continue to resurface over time. We unpack the idea of fairness itself, the emotional weight behind comparison and lost expectations, and how this thought shows up across identity, relationships, work, and parenting.

This isn’t about trying to “fix” the feeling or force positivity. It’s about understanding it, making space for it, and finding a way to hold it without letting it take over.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

Deciding whether to have kids is a big question — and when you’re living with a chronic health condition, it can feel even more complex. In this episode of But You Look So Good, psychologists Sally and Seona explore the emotional, practical, and deeply personal layers of this decision. From navigating “what ifs” and uncertainty, to managing other people’s opinions and your own self-doubt, they unpack the realities many don’t talk about.

This isn’t about telling you what to do — it’s about helping you reflect on what matters most to you. Whether you’re firmly undecided, leaning one way, or simply curious, this conversation offers validation, honesty, and compassion.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

In this episode, we talk about the experience of being “othered” — what it is, why it hurts so much, and why so many people with chronic health conditions experience it. We explore the psychological impact of feeling different, the shame that often comes with it, and how to build a life where different does not mean alone.

We also talk about the identity shift that often comes with chronic illness, the experience of living in the in‑between space, and the grief that can come from no longer fitting into your old life but not yet knowing where you fit now. This episode is about belonging, identity, shame, and learning to build a life that fits your capacity rather than trying to force yourself to fit a life that doesn’t.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠⁠

⁠⁠Webinars and Resources⁠⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠⁠.

⁠⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

The pressure to hold it all together, keep achieving, and be “fine” - even when your body is anything but.

In this episode, we explore the idea of “unicorn standards” - the often invisible, unrelenting expectations we place on ourselves to do more, be more, and cope better than is realistically possible.

When you’re living with a chronic health condition, these standards can become even harsher… leaving you feeling like you’re constantly falling short, no matter how much you’re carrying.

This episode is a gentle unpacking of where these standards come from, the cost of holding onto them, and how to begin softening them in a way that honours your current capacity - not some idealised version of who you think you should be.

If you’ve ever felt exhausted from trying to meet impossible expectations, this one is for you.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠

Today we’re speaking with Sarah, a 45-year-old woman from Perth who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023 after a routine mammogram. While Sarah is now cancer-free after a year of intensive treatment, her story highlights a reality that often goes unspoken: being cancer-free doesn’t always mean being free of cancer.

In this conversation, Sarah talks about the experience of living in the space between illness and health, the pressure to appear “fine” when life has changed, and how cancer can become a chronic health condition — something you live with, not just something you go through.

⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠

⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠

⁠Webinars and Resources⁠

If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠⁠