Good Morning everybody, welcome to Wundatours!

We shall be arriving at ElsBels shortly where we have a wonderful weekend planned. We shall be staying at a marvellous no star hotel that hasn’t been finished yet, staffed by humourously baffled locals. You’ll have plenty of time to enjoy sunbathing in the torrential rain and we have a charming outing to the local town where we have arranged for you to take part in a street brawl with the local prostitutes followed by a night in an overcrowded mixed jail cell. A last minute addition to the schedule is a huge piss-up before we leave.

I would ask that anyone allergic to mosquito bites, wet cement and ankle bracelets takes plenty of medication.

Everybody ready?

Off we go!