Café Con Abby

Confession. I tend to be a type that overanalyzes and many times thinks of the worse case scenario. I didn't always used to be, you see I was jaded...like I am sure some of you have been. Many towards life in general, but more specific to security and boy is the current world scenarios bringing up those issues of uneasiness and all the junk that comes with that.

So, how do you tend to cope with all these issues? How do you deal with your own life circumstances and challenges that come your way? I used to always believe that every person was innately good, you know thought of others before they thought of themselves...rude wake up call came in the last place I ever suspected it would. The place my weary heart would find solace from a broken place called home. You see, I grew up going to church and all the wonderful teachings I received gave me hope. As I grew into a young lady, I became enamored with the idea of a peaceful life without challenges and hurts because I was hurt and abandoned. Spiritually, I was seeking help for my "orphaned spirit". Those quotes are more meaningful than just showing their supposed meaning, no they come with an entire experience driven, feeling seeking and next miracle high way of living. More on that another time.

Well I think we can agree that going through trauma causes our brain to do all sort of mental gymnastics. And I believe that I was in an Olympic style course in my last three to four years, not only due to coming out of WOF and Nar, etc., but also because the world itself had become one where realities were being questioned...and many times the answers I was provided did not satisfy my need for some resolution or ease of pain. Although our questions become those of why was this so or why me, it really becomes one of a greater scheme of things...as difficult as it may be to look past our own lives personally.

Being alone in my little space and time, I can sink into very depressing moments in my past, yet in those same depressing moments my mind can focus on the beauty found in motherhood and how sweet it was to be a young mom trying my hand at raising boys and creating a home. I dare only touch upon this because it causes us to understand that one may have circumstances where there is trauma and pain, yet still find some beautiful moment or hope hidden in that very same circumstance.

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When a person has been hurt in life, especially through a situation that was one where they were lied to, there comes a disillusionment towards all. This can turn someone into a very bitter and unforgiving person by asking things like,  but what if I get hurt again? Lied to again? Taken advantage of again...Let's start with a standard that may seem out of the ordinary and to many, completely illogical.

Ephesians is written to those in Ephesus that believed and placed their faith in living a lifestyle with a biblical worldview, so this book, first of all, is directed to those with similar faith. This is where your worldview may be challenged because while you may think that you have faith in the biblical worldview, our current society has had a sneaky way of corrupting this truth. We should live a life led by these standards and pray for wisdom in all situations. I am in no way advocating violence or even turning a blind eye to abuse, this is geared towards those that abide by biblical standards and allowing a place for justice in others.

I was very independent as a young lady growing up because I had to be. It is nothing that I am resentful about, I mean we can all look back and think of specific areas we wished were different, etc. the thing we must note is that we would not be the same individual had all of these things been avoided or taken away from our journey. With the truth of knowing that individuals in this world do not hold or even care to hold a biblical worldview, comes the awareness that their choices and repercussions will possibly have a negative impact on our world and those around them. We are told to recall we were also once like them, not caring for the eternal and truth, but loved living in darkness and fulfilling our selfish desires.

When a person is hurt, they may feel the urge to get even with the world, the person that hurt them, the group that hurt them (for example, the church- false teachers, or even turn their back on God) and anyone that may pose a possibility of hurting us, such as in relationships. I get it, really it is better to live alone than to live lonely in a relationship, at least that was a belief I had for several years. The fact is one could choose to become a hermit and not have any human interaction for the rest of our lives after this hurt, but there lies a great deal of misery and honestly, not much growth emotionally. We are living a life that has challenges and offers us many opportunities to want to call it quits, yet those that clearly seek clarity will be able to find it.

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Happiness is a serious problem, Dennis Prager (pgs. 78-86)

In Prager's book he states some things that one may find hard to swallow, aren't some truth nuggets that way? I can recall a time when I was attending a revival in a Pentecostal church and I was bawling my eyes out, there I was playing my victim card...boy I was really wanting some attention, some pity. I had a friend that came over and hugged me and shared her father had left them when she was young and we cried and hugged, seeping in our glorious pit of despair.

While, I am by no means belittling the situations we both endured, our whole being was being stunted in this moment in life. Prager goes on to discuss reasons we may enjoy these pity parties and how many may not want to stop celebrating them. Here are the following he lists:

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I am loved. I am strong. I am rich. I am....While all these affirmations sound good to a weary heart and soul, could we possibly be causing more damage than good? Listen today as I discuss Steven Bancarz and his take on this touchy subject. I have been there and done this all, so I understand it is hard to hear that it may turn out to be something much darker than what our intentions are. I pray you get something out of this episode.

Resource: 

The Law of Attraction Debunked by Steven Bancarz 

What happens when we exchange truth for a lie? What happens when a mother or father are told they just don't have enough faith to "heal" their sick child, failing marriage, or get out of debt? Is it their lack of faith, fear-based confession, not fasting enough, reading the bible enough or living in sin that is the key? No, no and definitely not...Listen as I share some about scripture, false doctrine and the wonderful book from Walter Martin, really anything from him is extremely helpful. May you find peace in knowing the total truth of scripture and begin to see areas of your own belief system that need some uprooting and sifting. Don't get overwhelmed with it all, but continue to take a piece at a time and do the hard work. It is worth it.

Resources: 

Romans 1

Martin, Walter. The Kingdom of the Cults. sixth edition. Bethany House, 2019.