On a bus ride into Bruges this summer, I sat near a family I couldn't stop watching. A father telling the worst dad jokes you can imagine, a mother giving him grief about it, a grandfather one row up, and a teenage granddaughter sitting beside her grandmother who was clearly carrying something heavy.

I spent the whole ride trying to make sense of it, the way we all do when we need a tidy answer we can put a bow on. Everything I could gather told me this was a loving family. I never learned the rest of the story, and I never will.

What stayed with me was a question I couldn't put down. What would I say to my own grandchild if I found them in that place?

I came to three things that I discuss in this episode.

More free tools, frameworks, and resources: https://richchristiansen.com/tools-and-resources/

My weekly letter: https://richchristiansen.com/inspire/

Chapters
0:00 Deeply seen and deeply hurting
1:10 The bus ride into Bruges
3:05 What I'd tell my grandchild
4:19 Why we hold on to what hurts us
5:47 Prioritizing your health
6:57 Iguazú Falls and a stone for the rock board

If you or someone you love is struggling, you don't have to handle it alone. In the US you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 24 hours a day.

I spend most of my day believing I'm a high-functioning, analytical human being. The truth is that a good portion of it, I'm running on my limbic brain, where there are really only three questions. Do I eat it, kill it, or mate with it?

I learned the fix for this mindset from a professional athlete's setup routine.

I was backstage at Gathering of Titans talking with Bo Eason, a former safety who later did a one-man show on Broadway. Mid-conversation, he sprinted backwards, walked up to me, and did it again. I thought it was the world's most awkward nervous tic. He looked at me and said, "Don't you have a setup routine, Rich?"

That led me to build my own setup routine framework.

I still use it. In board meetings, in tense church meetings, and once this week before dealing with a customer service agent who was testing me.

Here's the whole thing.

Download the free Two Minute Surrender sequence: https://richchristiansen.com/tools-and-resources/

Start the free Values Blueprint course: https://richchristiansen.com/values-course/

Join my weekly letter: https://richchristiansen.com/inspire/

Rich grew up a nerd in a small rural town, and by his own account, he spent more time hanging from coat racks and stuffed in garbage cans than walking the halls. Then a rough-and-tumble scoutmaster named Ray Allen Yardley took an interest in him, and one afternoon in the back of a tire shop, Rich overheard him tell a group of older boys something that redirected his entire life.

This episode is about what happened next, and about the ten habits Rich has since identified in the mentors who shaped him. He teaches the full list, from believing in someone before they believe in themselves, through solving the real problem instead of the presenting one, to leaving every person stronger than you found them.

If you have ever wondered how to find a mentor, or whether you are ready to be one, Rich answers both at the end. His shortest advice: start by giving something to the person you want to learn from.

Get the free companion guide, The 10 Habits of Extraordinary Mentors: [LINK COMING SOON]

More free tools, frameworks, and resources: https://richchristiansen.com/tools-and-resources/

Start the free Values Blueprint course: https://richchristiansen.com/values-course/

Rich's weekly letter: https://richchristiansen.com/inspire/

Chapters:

0:00 More time in garbage cans than hallways
1:04 When I was the nerd
3:23 "You better be nice to that kid"
4:24 The number one predictor of success
6:14 Habits 1 through 3: believe, listen, find the real problem
9:06 Habits 4 through 6: ask, extend grace, teach principles
12:32 Habits 7 through 9: failures, the whole person, progress
16:03 Leave people stronger than you found them

Jennifer Hill grew up feeling like everyone else had been handed a book
on how to be a human. When she opened hers, the pages were blank.

In one three month stretch she sold her first company, got diagnosed as
autistic, and went through a divorce. What followed was a decade she
describes as about as far from connection as a person can get. Twenty
years later she has a two hour morning practice, a global community of
entrepreneurs, and a body of work built on one idea: most of us cannot
see ourselves or each other clearly, because there's something on the
glass in between.

CLARIFY YOUR VALUES
Start with the free Values Blueprint course.
https://richchristiansen.com/values-course/

MORE TOOLS AND RESOURCES
https://richchristiansen.com/tools-and-resources/

FIND JENNIFER
Jennifer's list of 180 tools is on her LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferkhill/

Her global community of entrepreneurs is the JENHILL Tribe. 
https://jenhilltribe.com/

CHAPTERS
0:00 The book on how to be human was blank inside
3:41 Three months: a company sold, a diagnosis, a divorce
5:52 Cleaning the glass between us
9:12 Heart-focused breathing you can do anywhere
10:43 The call where she almost burned the company down
16:23 Inner child work, and the 30 second hug
20:49 Rich's four personas, and meeting the part named Juicy
24:36 "There is nothing and no one to save"

This episode includes discussion of suicide, disordered eating, and
addiction. If you're struggling, you can reach the 988 Suicide and
Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 in the US.

#CalmTheChaos #InnerChildWork #Breathwork #Entrepreneurship #Meditation

CLARIFY YOUR VALUES
You cannot stay in flow if your money is out of alignment with your ethos.
The Values Blueprint course is free and it's where I'd start.
https://richchristiansen.com/values-course/

FIND JUSTIN DONALD
https://lifestyleinvestor.com

—

Most people define wealth as money. Some of the least wealthy people I know
have the most financial assets.

The word wealth comes from being well. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually,
physically. And what I see over and over is people building a life entirely
around money, only to discover they have accidentally built themselves a
tower to hell.

Justin Donald has done it differently, which is why I wanted him here.

Justin is the founder of Lifestyle Investor, and in my experience he has the
most congruent, well-rounded investment community I have encountered. The
first time I visited, I found a room full of investors doing breathwork.

In this conversation, Justin says plainly that he is not optimizing for
maximum return. He is optimizing for the highest quality of life today.


CHAPTERS
0:00 A tower to hell
1:57 What a lifestyle investor actually is
3:24 Optimizing for quality of life, not maximum return
5:36 How Justin screens a community for values
10:43 Who gets your best energy, and who gets the leftovers
12:01 Force versus flow, and the work ethic trap
18:13 "She felt like second fiddle"
20:36 Staying out of the limbic brain
24:47 The investment he was warned about
27:33 What he will not invest in at any price
30:23 If you look successful and feel empty, start here
32:19 Rich people have money, wealthy people have time

#Wealth #TimeFreedom #Values #Entrepreneurship #CalmTheChaos

Build your family legacy
https://legadofamily.com/life-defining-events-course/

Clarify your family values
https://richchristiansen.com/values-course/

-----------------------

My wife and I were terrified of what money would do to our family.

So we moved to a poor neighborhood and decided our children would never know
we had resources. Two years in, my financial advisor told me exactly what it
would cost my kids and my grandchildren if I pulled it off. He was right.

That conversation sent me looking for a framework that could stabilize a
family rather than just its finances. I couldn't find one, so I spent the
next thirty years building it, and we raised our five sons inside it.

This is the whole thing. Values as the platform. The anti-values you throw
away on purpose. The symbols, doctrine, and traditions that every enduring
institution is built on. And the lost art of rites of passage, including the
five ages that shape a child more than any others.

If we do not give our children something to belong to, they will find it
somewhere else. Be deliberate.

With clarity,
Rich

#FamilyLegacy #Parenting #RitesOfPassage #FamilyValues #calmthechaos 

CHAPTERS
0:00 Why we hid our money from our own kids
4:02 Why families need a framework now
6:16 Values, and naming what you refuse to pass on
9:04 Symbols, doctrine, and traditions
10:26 Our family logo, explained
15:35 Rites of passage, and the five ages that matter
16:54 Age 14, and a family in New Zealand
20:31 Letting them chart their own course

In this episode, Kate Mulholland tells the whole story: growing up believing that people always leave, chasing relief through every religion, substance, and relationship she could find, and hitting a rock bottom she describes as having a basement beneath it.

What finally worked was not more insight. Kate had been in therapy for years and had all the head knowledge she needed. What changed her life was learning that trauma lives in the body, and that we do not rise to the level of our ideals in a hard moment. We fall to the level of our nervous system, and how she leveraged that to heal.

Rich and Kate also walk through the three steps behind their work together: regulate the nervous system, rewire the pattern at its childhood root, and realign your life with your values. If you have ever wondered why you keep returning to the same painful patterns even when you can clearly see them, this conversation is for you.

Kate Mulholland is a world-class breathwork practitioner based in South Africa and the co-creator of Pattern Breaker.

Start the free Pattern Breaker course, three guided meditations and three short videos, at richchristiansen.com/patternbreaker-course/

Free tools and frameworks: richchristiansen.com/tools-and-resources/
Weekly Wisdom newsletter: richchristiansen.com/sign-up/

CHAPTERS
0:00 The search that ended on her knees
2:27 Meet Kate Mulholland
3:48 The story a nine-year-old told herself
6:00 Rock bottom, and the basement beneath it
11:12 Faith, getting clean, and why shame dies on exposure
15:57 Heal it or repeat it
19:37 Inside Pattern Breaker: regulate, rewire, realign
22:22 Why the body keeps the score
29:24 What a breathwork session is actually like
31:35 Realign: your values, your shame, your five-year-old self
36:27 If you feel alone in this

What do you do when anxiety is running your life and you feel like a "malfunctioned human destined for the scrap heap"?

In this episode, Rich sits down with James Whittaker, host of the Win the Day podcast, executive producer of Think and Grow Rich: The Legacy, and one of the great corporate speakers of our time. But James's story did not start on a stage. It started with debilitating anxiety, a rock-bottom moment on the floor of a liquor store at age 23, and a mother who told him he already had everything he needed.

Rich and James go deep on how to actually climb out of overwhelm: the morning routine James teaches every client, why you can only find your purpose while in motion, the power of someone else's belief in you, and how James now helps organizations like Meta transform their teams in just 30 days.

If you have ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or far from your potential, this conversation is for you.

Connect with James Whittaker:
Win the Day: https://win.day
50 Best Tips from 600+ Interviews: https://winthe.day/50ways/

More free tools and resources from Rich:
The Free Values Blueprint Video Course: https://richchristiansen.com/values-course/
Free Tools to Calm the Chaos: https://richchristiansen.com/tools-and-resources/
Legado Family: https://legadofamily.com/

Breathing changed everything for James. If you want to experience that for yourself, start with the free Pattern Breaker Meditation Course:
https://richchristiansen.com/patternbreaker-course/


New episodes weekly. Subscribe so you never miss one.
#CalmTheChaos #RichChristiansen #JamesWhittaker #WinTheDay #Podcast

Timestamps:
0:00 Welcome and Preview
2:00 James's Battle With Debilitating Anxiety
4:24 The Moment That Changed Everything
6:06 How Breathing Changed His Life
9:15 The 3-Part Morning Routine
12:37 Finding Purpose Through Motion
16:14 Disgust as Rocket Fuel
19:58 The Power of Someone Believing in You
20:50 How Fatherhood Changed Everything
27:00 Inside the Win the Day Program
31:11 The Win Score
34:39 Final Word: Face Your Fears

In this first episode of Calm the Chaos, Rich Christiansen opens the door to the podcast he felt called to make for years, and shares the deeply personal story that shaped everything he teaches.

Rich has founded 51 businesses, helped pioneer the Lean Startup movement, and authored the bestselling Zigzag Principle. He climbed every public mountain there was to climb. And yet, underneath all of it, his life was not in flow. In this episode, he shares why public success alone is fleeting, and what it actually takes to find lasting clarity and peace.

In this episode, Rich covers:

The Cycle of Force vs. the Cycle of Flow — why most of us live exhausting, force-built lives, and the four areas (personal, family, public, and wealth) that must come into alignment before flow is possible

Why value congruency is the epicenter of a life in flow, and why most people cannot honestly name their own private values

The generational patterns of wealth, trauma, and family, including why 95% of family wealth is gone by the third generation

And for the first time on the podcast, Rich shares his own story: the DNA test that unraveled his identity at age 53, the discovery that the father who raised him was not his biological father, and the journey through what he calls "the belly of the dragon" that ultimately rebuilt his faith, healed old wounds, and brought him the clarity and peace he had chased his entire life.

This is not a podcast about chest-beating or victory flags. It is about tools, frameworks, and real conversations for anyone navigating complexity and looking for simplicity on the other side of it.

Tools and frameworks mentioned in this episode:
 The Values Blueprint | The Legado Family Framework | Crossing the Chaos Chasm | The Zigzag Principle

Get free access to all of Rich's tools and resources at richchristiansen.com

Read Rich's full story in his book, BlindSighted.

New episodes weekly. Subscribe so you never miss one.

#CalmTheChaos #RichChristiansen #ValuesBlueprint #Podcast #PersonalGrowth