"My dear Listener,
How very kind of you to descend this far.
You now find yourself seated within the Holiday Crawlspace Theatre, a most intimate venue buried beneath floorboards, frost, and works of great fiction. Tonight's performance is a seasonal selection of unease--carefully unwrapped tales featuring familiar faces in unsettling scenes.
I shall be your host, Alistair Crowe, guiding you between the acts, minding the lights, and ensuring no one leaves before the curtain falls. Now, please, do make yourself comfortable--there is no intermission, and the exits have a habit of moving...
Warmest regards,
Alistair Crowe
Host, Holiday Crawlspace Theatre"