Book Review: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* (Not caring)–
5 Takeaways That Slapped Me in the Face**
I picked up The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* by Mark Manson thinking it would be a handbook on how to become a carefree rebel who flips off stress like an action hero walking away from an explosion. Turns out, it’s more like a philosophical slap to the face—with love. Manson isn’t here to coddle you; he’s here to shake you out of your own nonsense, all while swearing at you like a motivational speaker who just got cut off in traffic.
So, what did I learn? Here are my top five takeaways from the book, counting down from #5 to #1 because, let’s be honest, dramatic countdowns make everything feel more important.
#5: Happiness is Overrated (and Your Problems Are Your Fault)
Surprise! You’re not special, and life isn’t supposed to be a 24/7 highlight reel. Manson says we need to stop chasing happiness like it’s a lost puppy and instead accept that life is a series of problems. The trick isn’t avoiding problems; it’s choosing better problems to have.
For example, do you want the problem of working hard to get in shape, or the problem of not fitting into your jeans from 2012? The choice is yours. Either way, there will be struggle, so pick a struggle that at least gives you a six-pack (or, in my case, a strong core under my strategically chosen sweater).
#4: Stop Trying So Hard (Seriously, Chill Out)
Manson introduces the mind-blowing concept that the more we desperately want something, the less likely we are to get it. It’s like trying to impress a first date—if you overdo it, you just end up looking like a sweaty salesperson pushing timeshares in Florida.
Instead of obsessing over success, wealth, or being universally loved, Manson suggests embracing a paradox: the things that truly matter tend to come when we’re not strangling them with desperation. So relax. Let go. And maybe, just maybe, the universe will stop treating you like a punchline.
#3: You’re Not a Special Snowflake (But Neither is Anyone Else)
You know that voice in your head that whispers, "You’re unique, gifted, and destined for greatness"? Well, Manson politely suggests you tell that voice to shut up. Being human means facing the same struggles as everyone else. Your problems aren’t new, your suffering isn’t ground breaking, and nobody is waiting for your TED Talk on "Why My Life Is Extra Hard."
Instead of clinging to a narrative of being extraordinary, Manson encourages embracing mediocrity—because in reality, most of us are just regular people trying to do our best. And that’s actually pretty freeing. If you stop demanding greatness from every moment, you might actually enjoy the moments you get.
#2: Values Matter More Than Feelings (Because Feelings Are Drama Queens)
We live in a world where feelings are king. If you feel something, it must be true, right? Wrong. Manson points out that feelings are often about as reliable as a GPS that tells you to "turn left" off a bridge.
Instead of letting emotions run the show, he suggests living by strong values. Choose values that actually make life better—like honesty, resilience, and taking responsibility for your actions. If your values are things like "I must always be liked" or "I must be successful at everything immediately," then congratulations, you’ve just signed up for a lifetime of misery.
