This week on I Know You Didn’t Ask, we’re going from New Jersey wedding bells to reality TV bootcamps. Brittany Cartwright is getting married in my state (!!), and I need to know the venue immediately — because if the full Valley cast is showing up, I’ll be camping outside the gates to report live. Jasmine told Andy Cohen he’s invited, and honestly, if he doesn’t officiate we’ll have to call in Lance Bass. Meanwhile, Jax must be fuming because Brittany is busy booking gigs and joining the Special Forces universe when Season 4 drops September 25. Think Denise Richards, Tom Sandoval, JoJo Siwa, Kenya Moore, Gia and Teresa Giudice, Eva Marcille, and Britt herself in quasi-military training. Yes, Erika Jayne’s “military boyfriend Shrek” should be running her drills.

But that’s just the beginning. NBC is adding a Traitors season with normies (applications are live, babes), Alan Cumming’s wardrobe continues to slay, and producers are finally realizing fresh faces might be the move. Plus, SLC’s Season 6 trailer is magnificent (Sept. 16, mark it down), Paige DeSorbo is stepping into Devil Wears Prada 2 energy, and the Housewives cruise to Bermuda sank before leaving port thanks to low ticket sales and peak hurricane season. Toss in Kim & Kroy’s custody battle and Jill Zarin attaching her name to yet another questionable event invite, and you’ve got pure chaos — exactly how we like it.

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