Care OutLoud

What happens when the person expected to be the protector is left out of the story entirely?

In this heart-opening episode of Care Out Loud, Mary sits down with Alex Zavala, founder of The NICU Dad, to spotlight the overlooked yet vital experience of fathers navigating the NICU.

From the trauma of separation and silence to the transformative power of peer support and advocacy, Alex shares his personal journey from NICU parent to national changemaker — and invites us to reimagine how we care.

Together, Mary and Alex unravel:

• The hidden trauma and mental health toll NICU dads carry

• Why ignoring fathers isn’t benign — it’s a systemic failure with long-term consequences

• What true family-centered care looks like when we actually include dads

• How stereotypes about masculinity, emotion, and resilience get in the way of healing

• Practical strategies for clinicians to support fathers meaningfully and intentionally

Alex doesn’t just name the problem — he’s living the solution. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone working in perinatal or neonatal care, and for every human who believes we can do better by families, starting with the quietest voices in the room.

Because when we say family-centered, we have to mean every member of the family.

00:00 Introduction to Today's Guest: Alex Zavala

00:34 Alex Zavala's NICU Journey Begins

01:54 Founding NICU Dad: The Inspiration and Growth

03:43 Challenges and Realizations as a NICU Dad

05:02 The Role of Dads in the NICU: Personal Experiences

07:54 The Importance of Support and Community

09:36 Clinician and Dad Dynamics in the NICU

12:33 Advocating for Dads: Changing the System

20:04 Men's Mental Health and the Future of NICU Dad

25:17 Honoring Individual Experiences in Health Care

26:21 The NICU Journey: From Hospital to Home

28:14 Supporting NICU Dads: Tips and Strategies

29:43 The Importance of Physical and Spiritual Health

31:59 Addressing the Unique Needs of NICU Dads

39:54 The Impact of COVID-19 on NICU Dads

43:58 Caring Out Loud: Advocating for NICU Dads

48:09 Conclusion: The Future of Trauma-Informed Care

Connect with Alex:

Website: thenicudad.com
Instagram: @thenicudad

Call to Action

After listening, take one bold step:

• Ask yourself — Who am I not seeing in the care I give?
• Clinicians: Bring this episode into your next team huddle.
• Families: Share this with a NICU dad in your life.

In this heart-opening episode of Care OutLoud, host Mary Coughlin sits down with Mary Jenner—pediatric nurse turned visionary entrepreneur and founder of The Butterfly Pig. What began as a creative spark to help children understand their medical care has evolved into a trauma-informed movement transforming pediatric healthcare through play.

Mary shares the moving origin story behind The Butterfly Pig, how medically accurate toys like G-tubes, infusion pumps, and EKGs are helping kids feel safe, seen, and empowered in clinical settings, and why play is not just therapeutic—it’s essential.

You’ll hear about:

• The moment a teddy bear IV sparked a transformation in patient trust

• The neuroscience and emotional safety behind play-based education

• How integrating toys into care routines reduces fear and fosters agency

• The vital role of respect, belonging, and connection in trauma-informed pediatric care

• Why parents and clinicians alike need to feel empowered—and how toys can help

This episode is a call to rehumanize care for children and to embrace the creative, curious, and compassionate strategies that support healing on every level.

Whether you’re a clinician, parent, educator, or just someone who believes in the power of kindness, this conversation will remind you that even the smallest gestures—like a toy with a feeding tube—can have profound impact.

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

• Learn more about The Butterfly Pig: https://thebutterflypig.com/

• Connect with Mary Jenner on Socials (Instagram, Facebook and TikTok): @thebutterflypig

Episode Summary:In this profoundly moving episode, Mary Coughlin sits down with Dr. Emma Jones — palliative care physician, mother, teacher, and author of The Phoenix Blueprint — to explore the raw truths behind burnout, healing, and reclaiming wholeness. Together, they unpack what it means to hit bottom not in a single moment, but over years of self-sacrifice, disintegration, and depletion. Emma shares her personal journey from collapse to renewal, her reflections on the myths of “self-care” and “compassion fatigue,” and the radical reimagining required to transform both healthcare systems and ourselves.

This episode is a heart-centered call to stop hiding behind perfection, to embrace the messy fullness of our humanity, and to care out loud — in public, in connection, and in sacred witness to ourselves and each other.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

• Emma’s unflinching account of crashing under the weight of burnout
• The false promises of surface-level “self-care” and why true care begins with receiving
• How high-achieving healthcare workers mask their wounds until collapse
• A reframing of compassion, empathy, and the language we use to describe exhaustion
• Insights on why trauma-informed care must start with self-integration
• A candid look at writing The Phoenix Blueprint as part of the healing journey
• Why thriving healthcare systems require thriving healthcare humans
• Gentle wisdom for anyone who feels they are burning and sees no way out

Emma’s Whisper to Every Listener:“You are whole — and wholeness isn’t the absence of suffering. It’s being seen, heard, and honored as a whole person, not a problem to be solved.”

Resources Mentioned:– Dr. Emma Jones’ book The Phoenix Blueprint– Website: emmajonesmd.com– Find her book wherever books are sold

Work With Emma:Emma is currently offering flexible 1:1 sessions through summer and fall — an open invitation for anyone ready to explore their own path toward renewal.

Connect + Reflect:
What part of Emma’s story resonates with your own journey? Share your reflections with us on social media using

#CareOutLoud or leave a review to let others know how this episode touched you.

Join the Movement:
Subscribe to CARE OUTLOUD to keep listening, reflecting, and learning how caring out loud changes lives — including your own.

In this final episode (for now), Mary Coughlin explores the profound importance of 'holding' as a central act of care and connection. She discusses the journey from the womb to the incubator, highlighting the need for emotional and spiritual nurturing in NICUs and beyond. The episode touches on themes of justice, belonging, and resilience, emphasizing that true healing and growth begin with the ability to hold space for oneself and others. Coughlin calls for a cultural shift towards presence and tenderness, inviting listeners to honorthe messiness of becoming and the transformative power of simply being there for one another.

00:00 Introduction: The Journey of Holding

00:39 The Sacred Act of Holding

01:12 The NICU: A Mechanical Cocoon

02:08 The Power of Being Held

03:54 A Blessing for You

05:02 Conclusion: The Revolution of Holding

In this episode of 'Womb to World,' Mary Coughlin challenges the typical narrative of trauma recovery, emphasizing that not everyone rises from adversity and that survival itself is courageous and holy. She explores the often-overlooked aftermath of trauma, highlighting the quiet ache and unfinished healing that many experience. By advocating for grace instead of growth, she redefines post-traumatic growth to include small victories and sacred rebellions. Coughlin calls for the recognition of the enduring impacts of trauma and encourages listeners to honor their slow, uneven journey towards healing without the pressure to justify their pace or transform pain into meaning. This heartfelt episode invites reflection on how we view trauma, healing, and the true nature of survival.

Quote to Remember:

“You don’t have to be a phoenix. Just breathing is a form of becoming.”

Reflection Invitation:💭 What stories are you carrying that haven’t had space to be honored?💭 Who told you that you needed to be stronger, sooner?

This episode makes space for the slow, honest work of living after survival. Because healing isn’t always about transformation—it’s about tenderness.

00:00 Introduction: The Myth ofRising from Trauma

00:42 Acknowledging the Aftermath

01:07 The Reality of Survival

01:34 The Hidden Scars of Trauma

02:07 Redefining Post-TraumaticGrowth

02:31 The Lingering Effects ofNICU

02:51 Small Victories and SacredRebellions

03:46 The Path to True Healing

04:46 Embracing the Slow HealingProcess

05:50 Conclusion: Honoring theAftermath

We love to celebrate resilience.
We praise babies as “fighters,” parents as “strong,” and clinicians as “heroes.”
But beneath those shiny words often lies a deeper truth:
Resilience is not proof that no harm was done. It’s proof that someone survived.

In this episode of Womb to World, Mary Coughlin invites listeners to unpack what resilience really means—especially in the NICU. From the tiny bodies enduring separation and procedures to the clinicians holding space without always being held themselves, this conversation explores the unseen cost of surviving systems that weren’t designed for healing.

What if we stopped romanticizing survival?
What if we started designing care that made thriving the baseline—not the exception?

In this episode, we explore:

• Why resilience without relationship is just endurance

• How trauma lives in the nervous system—even when outcomes look “good” on paper

• The myth of the “strong baby” and the “grateful parent”

• How trauma-informed developmental care rewrites the story of survival

• What it means to create spaces of co-regulation, not just crisis response

Key Quote:

“Resilience isn’t about bouncing back. It’s about being held in the first place.”

Reflection Prompt:
Think of someone you’ve called resilient.
Were you celebrating their strength—or overlooking their suffering?

If this episode speaks to you, please share it with a colleague, a parent, or a fellow caregiver.
Tag it. Talk about it. Reflect on it.
Because healing begins when we stop calling survival the goal—and start making space for something more.

Summary:
In this soul-stirring second episode of Womb to World, Mary Coughlin explores what it means to hold constitutional rights in the earliest moments of life. From the incubator to the delivery room, from presence to policy, this episode challenges us to reimagine justice, dignity, and voice—not as abstract ideals, but as birthrights. Through a trauma-informed, developmental care lens, Mary draws parallels between the NICU and the civic systems we all live within, asking: When do rights begin? And who gets to decide?

In This Episode:

• The NICU as a reflection of societal justice and injustice

• The 9th and 14th Amendments through the lens of infant rights

• How trauma-informed developmental care restores voice, dignity, and belonging

• Why presence is political—and powerful

• A call to embody justice in every moment of care

Quote to Remember:

“We don’t just hold babies. We hold the future.”

Reflection Invitation:
What rights do you believe every baby is born with?
How does your presence honor—or unintentionally withhold—those rights?

Mentioned Concepts:

• The U.S. Constitution and the Ninth & Fourteenth Amendments

• Developmental care and trauma-informed practice in the NICU

• The concept of the incubator as a civic space

• Implicit bias and disparities in parental inclusion

• Justice as an act of care

Subscribe & Share:
If this episode moved you, please share it with a colleague, your team, or someone who cares deeply about justice in healthcare. And don’t forget to subscribe to Womb to World wherever you get your podcasts.

What does a U.S.-funded foreign prison have to do with your work in the NICU?
In this solo Care OUTLOUD reflection, Mary walks with us—literally and metaphorically—through the story of the CECOT prison in El Salvador, exploring how systems of harm are mirrored in the ways we care (or fail to care) for families here at home.

This isn’t about politics.
This is about presence.
About remembering that trauma-informed developmental care is not just a clinical model—it’s a form of cultural resistance.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your care makes a difference in the midst of all this chaos, this episode is for you.

✨ Reflection Prompt:
What’s one small moment today where I can flip the script—where I can bring more dignity, humanity, or softness into my practice?

Mentioned:
– The CECOT prison story
– Trauma-informed developmental care → https://www.caringessentials.net/tip-certificate-program
– The People’s Declaration → https://www.caringessentials.net/peoples-declaration

– The REIMAGINE Movement → https://www.caringessentials.net/we-the-future

What does it mean to really care out loud? In this specialextended episode, I sit down with the incomparable Mia Malcolm—NICU parent, fierce advocate, and truth-teller. Mia shares her family's 268-day NICU journey, the generational trauma that shaped her perspective, and what healthcareproviders must understand if we ever hope to show up with true compassion, equity, and humility.

We talk about systemic racism in medicine, trauma-informed care (and its absence), why being uncomfortable is part of the work, and the one moment of humanity that changed everything. This is more than a podcast—it’s a call toremember who we are, why we’re here, and who’s still drowning in a system that says “care” but often doesn’t show it.

⚠️ Warning: This episode contains powerful emotional content and references to medical trauma, racism, and loss.

Important Links:

• Mia's LinkedIn Profile

• Watson L. & Malcolm M. (2021). Racism as a Preventable Harm. Nursing Administration Quarterly. 45(4), 302-310. doi: 10.1097/NAQ.0000000000000495. 

• Racism and Quality of Neonatal Intensive Care: Voices of Black Mothers

• Witt, R.E., Malcolm, M., Colvin, B.N., Gill, M.R., et al. (2022). Racism and Quality of Neonatal Intensive Care: Voices of Black Mothers. Pediatrics. 150 (3), e2022056971. 10.1542/peds.2022-056971.
  

In this episode, Mary sits down with Jennifer Bernardo, a mother of twins born at 26 weeks gestation, who shares her challenging and inspirational journey through the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Jennifer discusses the unexpected birth, the four-and-a-half-month NICU stay, and the emotional and physical challenges faced by her family. She explains how this experience inspired her to write the book 'Week 26,' detailing their story of hope and perseverance. Jennifer alsoemphasizes the importance of communication between parents and healthcare professionals, highlighting how critical support and understanding are for families in the NICU. The episode concludes with Jennifer's advocacy efforts and her desire to continue inspiring and supporting other families going through similar experiences.

00:00Introduction to Jennifer

00:23Jennifer's NICU Journey

02:19Writing as a Healing Process

05:03Challenges and Support in the NICU

09:50Transitioning Home and Parenting Reflections

15:41The Role of Clinicians and Communication

33:30 Future Aspirations and Advocacy

LINKS & RESOURCES

The website: https://www.week26.com/

A little more about Jennifer: https://www.week26.com/author

Where you cvan get the book: https://www.week26.com/purchase-week26