Kelley Marie showed up to her mother's wedding at ten years old with no idea her mom was getting married. That was the day the abandonment wound started, and it shaped the next twenty years of her life.

In this episode of Carpool Confessions, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie talk honestly about the abandonment wound: what it is, where it comes from, and the way it quietly runs your relationships long after the person who left is gone. Kelley shares her story of foster care, a mother who chose men over her children, feeling abandoned by the justice system as a survivor, and the pattern she still fights: leaving people before they can leave her.

We also get into the part most healing content skips. Your nervous system does not calm down because you decided to think better thoughts. It calms down around safe people. We talk about co-regulation, why healthy community is different from any community, and what changes when you finally find people who can hear your whole story without flinching.

WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR
This one is for women who grew up in unstable homes, who love God and are still untangling the trauma, and who are tired of being told to just be more positive. If you are a Christian woman working through childhood trauma, CPTSD, foster care history, a parent's divorce, or the fear that everyone eventually leaves, you are the person we made this for.

WHAT WE COVER
- How an abandonment wound forms in childhood
- Why people pleasing and anxiety often trace back to abandonment
- The difference between an abandonment wound and a rejection wound
- How the wound shows up at work, in friendships, and in marriage
- Living with CPTSD and triggers you cannot always name
- Nervous system co-regulation and why safe people matter more than mindset
- The difference between community and healthy community
- Being abandoned by the justice system as a sexual assault survivor
- Forgiving a parent without pretending it did not hurt
- What Deuteronomy 31:8 means when people have failed you again and again

SCRIPTURE
Deuteronomy 31:8. "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

A GENTLE HEADS UP 
This episode includes honest discussion of child abuse, foster care, sexual assault, suicidal thoughts, and severe anxiety. Please take care of yourself while you listen.

TALK TO US
Email us at [email protected]. If you are trying to find safe people and do not know where to start, reach out. We will help.

Shout out to Brett, our moderator, and the person who has witnessed Kelley's whole life. Say hi to her in the comments.

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You can't fight loneliness while you're lonely. That's where this one starts, and it might be the most honest conversation we've had on Carpool Confessions yet.

We live in the most connected time in history, and somehow we've never felt more alone. In this episode we get real about the loneliness epidemic and what's actually behind it: the surface-level trap of social media, the cruelty people hide behind a screen, and the quiet ache of having people around you but still not feeling seen.

We open up about our own stories too. Kelley shares the online attack that made her feel like the whole world was against her, the isolation of working remote through her mom's passing, and the smear campaign that cost her nearly everyone in her life. Kate gets honest about emotional loneliness inside a marriage where faith isn't shared, and about walking into church alone every Sunday. We also dig into the parts most people skip: how loneliness is as damaging to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, how it literally rewires your brain to expect rejection, and what Scripture says about the fact that you were never meant to do life alone.

And we don't leave you there. We finish with the practical, real-world steps that pulled us out, the same ones you can start today. Because loneliness doesn't have to be your story.

If you're feeling lonely right now, leave a comment that simply says "Pray for me." You don't have to share a single detail. We would be honored to pray for you, and so would this community.

Support the show

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Have you ever prayed for a door to open, only to question whether you belonged once it did?

This week on Carpool Confessions, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie get honest about imposter syndrome: that quiet voice telling you you're not good enough, not qualified, or not ready. From starting a nonprofit with "no business" doing it, to freezing up before a speakers' event, to hearing their own names called from the stage at church, they share the real moments self-doubt has shown up in their lives, and the truth that keeps pulling them back: God doesn't choose the equipped; He equips the chosen.

Whether your self-doubt shows up at work, in your faith, or in that dream you keep putting off, this conversation is your reminder that your failures don't erase your calling. You're allowed to want big things. And when the lies start running through your head, you can replace them with three words: God chose me.

#ImposterSyndrome #CarpoolConfessions #FaithPodcast #ChristianPodcast #SelfDoubt

Support the show

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🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
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Have you ever tied your worth to how hard you work, only to have your body force you to stop? In this episode of Carpool Confessions, Kate and Kelley get real about burnout, the kind that shows up as daily migraines, shingles, panic attacks, and a soul-deep exhaustion that no single vacation can fix.

They open up with their own stories, from working 24-hour shifts at Walmart during a high-risk pregnancy to the neck migraines that disappeared a month into a new job. Along the way they unpack why burnout is a real clinical diagnosis and not just a buzzword, and how hustle culture, people pleasing, and a lack of boundaries quietly set high performers up to crash.

But this conversation is not all heavy. Kate and Kelley dig into what actually helps: recognizing the early warning signs, learning to advocate for yourself, finding work that uses your natural giftings, and building a culture where people get to be human. They share how their current agency changed everything for them, plus small, doable ways any of us can bring more joy and kindness to wherever we work.

📚 Resources mentioned: Essentialism by Greg McKeown and Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.

Video Chapters:
00:00 High Performers Are Wired to Burn Out
00:43 Welcome and a Burnout Confession
03:01 Burnout Is a Clinical Diagnosis, Not Just a Buzzword
05:30 The Body's Check Engine Light: Recognizing the Symptoms
09:26 Overextending Yourself: The Walmart Years
13:13 What Causes Burnout and What Leaders Can Do
20:41 Preventing and Recovering: Essentialism and Self-Advocacy
26:25 Work-Life Balance, False Urgency, and Gratitude
31:01 Knowing Your Worth and Finding the Right Culture
44:53 Bringing Purpose and Joy to Any Job

Support the show

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🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
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Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
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You can love God and still feel too judged, too broken, or too "not good enough" to walk back through the doors of a church. In this episode of Carpool Confessions of the Chronically Aware, Kate and Kelley Marie get honest about church hurt: the fear of being judged that keeps people away, the religious shame they both carried for years, and the moment a man they helped out of homelessness told Kate, "This is the first positive interaction I've ever had with anyone in the church."
 
They dig into why church hurt cuts deeper than any other kind of pain, what recent research says about people walking away from the faith they were raised in, the difference between loving correction and shame, how social media and the algorithm shape what we believe, and how their own community showed up for them in their darkest seasons. If you have been burned by the church and wondered whether it is worth trying again, consider this conversation your sign.
 
If you have ever thought, "I got hurt too badly at church to ever go back," this honest talk about faith, healing, and finding the right community is for you.
 
▶️ New here? Watch these first:
- I trust God, so why am I still anxious?
- How to stop being a people pleaser
 
💛 A note: this episode gently touches on religious hurt, abuse in church settings, and sexual assault. If you have lived through any of this, please know that none of it was your fault and you are not alone. In the US, RAINN's free and confidential hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
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#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

For most of my life, I carried a question I couldn't shake. Who was my birth mother, and why did giving me up have to mean disappearing completely? I was adopted as a baby and grew up loved, but loved doesn't erase the wondering. I spent years quietly searching, asking, hoping, and every door God closed.

My birth mother was a ward of the state. She had serious mental health issues. The records were limited, the answers were few, and the silence got louder the older I got. Underneath all of it was the question no adopted person says out loud: what if I become her? What if her story is somehow already in me?

And then one day the searching ended in a way I never saw coming. She passed away. I didn't find out until a week after she was gone. The family I had known my whole life knew she was on hospice and chose not to tell me. That door didn't just close. It locked.

In this episode of Carpool Confessions, I share my adoption story for the first time on the podcast. The identity crisis I didn't have words for as a kid. The yearning to find the woman whose DNA I share. The fear that grew alongside that yearning. The grief of losing someone I never got to meet. And the joy of finding family I wasn't even looking for. 

If you are an adopted person who has ever felt split between two stories, or if you have ever asked God for an answer He kept refusing to give, this one is for you.

What you will hear in this episode:

- What it actually feels like to have an adoption identity crisis
- The fear of inheriting your birth parent's mental illness
- Searching for someone the system makes nearly impossible to find
- Finding out your birth mother is gone, after she is already gone
- How to grieve someone you never met
- What it took to forgive the family who kept the secret
- Why I believe God closed every door for a reason I am still unpacking

Support the show

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🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
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Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
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What if what you're going through didn't start with you? What if it started generations ago, and you're now part of a story so many people in your family have lived? And the big question almost everyone asks: how do I break this?

In this episode of Carpool Confessions, Kelley and Kate go deep on generational curses and generational trauma. They talk about what it really means to be a "cycle breaker," how trauma shapes your nervous system, your faith, and even your body, and why understanding where the cycles started is the first step to breaking them. 

Along the way, they share honest personal stories about family, abuse, poverty, addiction, forgiveness, and the people who showed up with grace along the way.

They also dig into what Scripture says about it, including Exodus 20:5-6, the difference between a curse rooted in sin and a blessing rooted in obedience, and how Jesus already broke the curse and gave us the authority to stop the cycle. As they put it: Jesus wrote the check, it's our job to cash it.

You are not the sum of your origins. You have the power to rewrite the script for yourself, your family, and generations you may never meet.

Support the show

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When David returned to Ziklag, his village was burned to the ground, every woman and child had been taken captive, and his own men were talking about stoning him. He had nothing left. No home, no family, no support, no one in his corner. And in that moment, scripture says "David encouraged himself in the Lord his God."

This episode of Carpool Confessions is for the woman who is tired of waiting for someone else to show up for her. For the woman who has been the one carrying everyone else and now finds the well dry. For anyone who has ever asked, how am I supposed to keep going when there is no one left to pour into me?

We walk through the story of David at Ziklag, what 1 Samuel 30 actually teaches us about self-encouragement from a biblical lens, and the practical ways you can encourage yourself in the Lord when life has taken more than you thought you could give. This is not about pretending you are fine. This is about the kind of strength that comes from going to God when no one else can reach you.

What you will hear in this episode:

- The full backstory of David at Ziklag and why this verse matters
- What "encourage yourself in the Lord" actually means in practice
- How self-encouragement is different from self-help and self-soothing
- Practical steps for the days when your circle has gone quiet
- Why God designed us to be able to draw strength directly from Him

Support the show

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🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
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Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
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What does the Bible say about anxiety when you love God but still feel panic rising? 

In this episode, Kate shares her story of anxiety and panic attacks despite a strong faith, and the truth she wishes someone had told her sooner: you are not broken, and you are not failing as a Christian.

So many believers carry a quiet shame, wondering, "I trust God, so why am I still anxious?" This conversation is for you. We talk honestly about what anxiety as a Christian actually feels like, why faith and fear can exist in the same heart, and how peace comes not from pretending you're fine but from letting God meet you in the mess.

Kate opens up about the panic attacks no one saw, the bible verses for anxiety that became lifelines, and the slow work of changing anxious thought patterns instead of burying them. If you've searched for prayer for anxiety, scriptures for anxiety, or simply needed to hear that God isn't disappointed in your struggle, press play.

You don't have to choose between your faith and your feelings. You can bring both to God and find real peace.

Support the show

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Why does anxiety seem to affect some people differently?

In this first of several anxiety-focused episodes of Carpool Confessions Podcast, Kate and Kelley have an honest conversation about anxiety, trauma, PTSD, CPTSD, panic attacks, hypervigilance, and faith. Having both experienced significant trauma, we explore how anxiety can look very different when your brain and nervous system have been shaped by years of survival, fear, instability, or abuse.

For many people, anxiety is excessive worry about things that might happen. But for trauma survivors, anxiety is often rooted in things that actually did happen. When you've lived through abuse, neglect, loss, religious trauma, abandonment, or chronic instability, your nervous system can become wired to anticipate danger long after the threat is gone.

We discuss:

- The difference between anxiety and trauma-based anxiety
- Why mainstream advice doesn't always fit this type of anxiety
- Hypervigilance and living in a constant state of alertness
- The connection between faith, healing, and mental health
- What Scripture says about fear, worry, and God's peace
- How Christians can meet people in their pain

We also tackle a topic that isn't discussed nearly enough: why some of the most popular anxiety advice can feel ineffective, or even frustrating, for trauma survivors.

Advice like:

"Your fear is lying to you."
"Just stop overthinking."
"Let them."
"Everything will be okay."

While these ideas may help some people, they can miss the reality of trauma. For someone whose fears were formed by real experiences, their brain isn't simply making things up; it's trying to protect them based on what it learned was necessary for survival. We discuss why healing from trauma-based anxiety often requires a different approach than simply changing your thoughts.

Whether you're struggling with anxiety yourself, supporting someone who is, or trying to understand how trauma shapes behavior, this episode offers practical insight, personal stories, validation, and hope.

View Kelley's Story Part 1: https://youtu.be/XU5T3qadVvU
View Kelley's Story Part 2: https://youtu.be/2qWczZVbdSQ

Support the show

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🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
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💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
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#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth