Carpool Confessions of the Chronically Aware

Kelley Marie lived in a van as a kid. That is what put her in foster care. She got emancipated at 15, had to drop out of high school, and got braces at 38 because nobody was covering dental care for a foster kid.

In this episode of Carpool Confessions of the Chronically Aware, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie have the conversation most people avoid: what poverty actually does to a person, why it is so much harder to climb out of than people think, and why "just make better choices" is one of the most damaging things you can say to someone who is struggling.

We get into the benefits cliff that punishes people for taking a raise, why a missing car makes everything else impossible in a small town, how shame keeps people out of church pews and job interviews, and why empathy without action does not move the needle for anyone.

If you are living this right now: we see you, and there is no shame in it.
If you are not: this one is for you too.

RESOURCES
Uplift Mid-Mo, the nonprofit Kate founded in 2019 to help families in Audrain County with rent, utilities, and a sustainable path forward:
https://upliftmidmo.org

Thinking about starting something like this in your own community? Reach out. Kate is happy to walk you through what the last seven years looked like.

Also mentioned: Bridges Out of Poverty and the Getting Ahead curriculum from Dr. Ruby Payne and aha! Process, offered locally in partnership with the Mexico Sustainability Project, as well as Arthur Center Community Health. 

CHAPTERS
0:00 "I Was That Kid": Why We're Talking About Poverty
1:35 17.8%: What Poverty Actually Looks Like in Rural Missouri
2:33 $500 a Month, a Van, and Foster Care
4:51 The Benefits Cliff: Punished for Getting a Raise
7:40 "I Should Have Never Gotten You Out of Foster Care"
10:36 What 15 Weeks in a Poverty Class Actually Taught Us
14:35 Why "Just Get a Better Job" Falls Apart
18:02 Crisis Mode, Church Clothes, and Braces at 38
26:27 Empathy Is Lazy. Compassion Costs Something.
30:39 One Bad Month Away From the Same Story

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Are our kids really that different, or does every generation say this? Kate and Kelley Marie both have kids in high school this year, at the same school they graduated from almost 20 years ago, and the differences are hard to ignore. No socializing in the hallways. One lunch line instead of the salad bar and potato bar. Chromebooks instead of paper. And a generation of teenagers carrying anxiety we never had at that age.

In this episode, we talk honestly about parenting teens in 2026: what school looks like now, why our kids are more anxious than we ever were, what social media has done to how they see themselves, and the surprising ways this generation is actually ahead of us. Plus a lot of 2000s nostalgia, because apparently low-rise jeans, barbed wire bracelets, and grandpa New Balances are all back.

We cover pulling kids out of public school for bullying and going back years later, why we think kids need real-world exposure to grow, the literacy crisis and what happens when nobody writes anything down, the math placement disconnect between private and public school, and the moment our 14-year-olds got Instagram and immediately started chasing affiliate deals.

CHAPTERS
0:00 Why Our Kids Feel Like a Totally Different Generation
1:00 Same High School, New Rules: No Hallway Time and One Lunch Line
4:26 Bullying, Private School and Going Back to Public High School
7:24 School Shooting Drills and the Anxiety We Never Grew Up With
9:19 "Who Do You Want to Show Up As?" Picking Friends in High School
10:26 Growing Up Online: Sharenting and the Fear of Being Perceived
11:33 Grandpa New Balances, Low Rise Jeans and Han Solo Season
18:07 Landlines, CD Binders and the Principal's Office Confession
22:05 Dating at 14: Then vs Now, and How Phones Changed Everything
25:56 Chromebooks, Cursive and Kids Who Run Businesses at 14

Tell us in the comments: has your school stopped letting kids socialize in the halls? Are your kids on Chromebooks for everything? We want to know if this is happening in your community too.

If this episode hit home, subscribe for new episodes of Carpool Confessions every week. Two moms, no filter, all the conversations you're already having in the car.

Listen to the imposter syndrome episode mentioned in this episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2617875/episodes/19568013

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

We sat down to talk about grief. Two-thirds of the way in, Kelley Marie said something Kate has known her for years and never heard: "I don't believe you die and go to heaven. I believe you're just dead."

Nothing in this episode was planned. That is exactly how grief works.

In this episode of Carpool Confessions, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie get honest about the grief nobody gives you permission to feel. Kelley talks about losing her mother, the visitation where almost nobody came, the suicidal ideation that followed, and grieving a father who is still alive. Kate talks about what happens when you refuse to feel it: the anger, the exhaustion, the brain fog, the body keeping score while you stay busy enough to outrun it.

Then the conversation turns. Kelley shares what being raised a Jehovah's Witness did to her ability to grieve, why she has kept her beliefs quiet, and what it is like to watch other people find comfort in a hope she has never been able to access. Kate responds in real time, with no script and no rehearsal, and the two of them have the kind of conversation most Christians only have in their heads.

WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR
This one is for anyone carrying grief they were never allowed to put down. Women grieving a parent, a sibling relationship, a marriage, a childhood they never got, or a version of life that did not happen. It is also for Christians who want to know how to sit with someone who does not believe what they believe, and for anyone deconstructing religious trauma while still trying to hold on to God.

WHAT WE COVER
- Why grief is not only about death
- Grieving a childhood, a parent who is still living, or an estranged sibling
- What happens when you suppress grief instead of feeling it
- Why grief shows up as anger, irritability, exhaustion and physical pain
- The five stages of grief and why you can slide backward
- The connection between unprocessed pain and addiction
- Grief triggers, anniversaries, and shared birthdays
- Why "at least they're in a better place" lands so badly
- The shame people feel about crying over someone they loved
- Jesus wept even though He knew how the story ended
- Religious trauma, the 144,000, and grieving without the hope of heaven
- How to stay in relationship with someone whose beliefs are different from yours
- Why you have to keep showing up long after the funeral week is over

CHAPTERS
00:00 "People get really weird" when you say you don't believe in heaven
00:57 Grief is not just about death
02:34 Grieving the childhood you never had
03:58 The death that started the spiral
06:54 Grieving a father who is still alive
08:29 When grief comes out as anger
12:10 The five stages and the pain underneath addiction
22:15 The night his mom sat on the edge of the bed
24:20 "I don't believe you die and go to heaven"
31:12 Sin, the cross, and what God actually wanted

SCRIPTURE
Psalm 34:18. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
John 11:35. "Jesus wept."
Romans 12:15. "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

A GENTLE HEADS UP
This episode includes honest discussion of the death of a parent, estrangement, suicidal ideation, addiction and religious trauma. Please take care of yourself while you listen. If any of this is where you are right now, please reach out to someone you trust.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

We were preteens, sitting in a junior high classroom in Missouri, when a student aide walked in with a note and our teacher's face went white. Twenty five years later we can still tell you exactly where we were standing.

On this episode of Carpool Confessions, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie mark the 25th anniversary of September 11 by talking about the part that does not get talked about: what it did to a generation of kids who watched people die on live television, on repeat, before anyone used the word trauma.

We talk about the first responders who never got help, why so many men and police officers still will not ask for it, and the difference between PTSD and CPTSD. We talk honestly about the prejudice that landed on Muslim Americans afterward and how fear gets used to make an out group. And we talk about the thing we come back to every week: you cannot heal alone, no matter how many breathing exercises you do.

WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR
This one is for the millennial women who were kids in 2001 and are only now naming what that day did to them. For the moms explaining 9/11 to children who were not alive for it. For anyone carrying trauma of any size, from a national tragedy to a divorce to a loss nobody else saw, who has been getting by on "I'm fine." If you are a Christian woman working through trauma and tired of being told to just think better thoughts, we made this for you.

WHAT WE COVER
- Where we both were on September 11, 2001, in seventh grade
- Why our kids know almost nothing about it
- Watching the towers hit on every channel, on repeat, as children
- The unity that came after and why it did not last
- First responders, survivor's guilt, and what trauma does to your sense of safety
- Why men and police officers so often refuse help
- The difference between PTSD and CPTSD, explained simply
- Flying before and after 9/11, and the fear that never left
- The prejudice Muslim Americans faced, and how fear creates an out group
- The people still dying from 9/11 today
- Why "I'm fine" is not the same thing as healing
- Elijah in 1 Kings 19, and a God who says take a nap and eat a snack

SCRIPTURE
1 Kings 19. After the greatest victory of his life, Elijah collapses and asks God to take him. God does not lecture him. God feeds him and lets him sleep.

REMEMBERING
2,977 people were killed on September 11, 2001. Twenty five years on, the remains of roughly 40 percent of the World Trade Center victims have still not been identified, and the work of identifying them continues to this day. We remember every person lost, everyone who ran toward the towers, and every family still waiting for answers.

A GENTLE HEADS UP
This episode includes detailed discussion of September 11, including deaths, first responder trauma, and suicide. Please take care of yourself while you listen.

TELL US YOUR STORY
If you have a 9/11 story you would like to share, we want to hear it. Leave it in the comments or email us at [email protected]. We are building the Carpool community, and we would like it to be there for you.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Kelley Marie showed up to her mother's wedding at ten years old with no idea her mom was getting married. That was the day the abandonment wound started, and it shaped the next twenty years of her life.

In this episode of Carpool Confessions, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie talk honestly about the abandonment wound: what it is, where it comes from, and the way it quietly runs your relationships long after the person who left is gone. Kelley shares her story of foster care, a mother who chose men over her children, feeling abandoned by the justice system as a survivor, and the pattern she still fights: leaving people before they can leave her.

We also get into the part most healing content skips. Your nervous system does not calm down because you decided to think better thoughts. It calms down around safe people. We talk about co-regulation, why healthy community is different from any community, and what changes when you finally find people who can hear your whole story without flinching.

WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR
This one is for women who grew up in unstable homes, who love God and are still untangling the trauma, and who are tired of being told to just be more positive. If you are a Christian woman working through childhood trauma, CPTSD, foster care history, a parent's divorce, or the fear that everyone eventually leaves, you are the person we made this for.

WHAT WE COVER
- How an abandonment wound forms in childhood
- Why people pleasing and anxiety often trace back to abandonment
- The difference between an abandonment wound and a rejection wound
- How the wound shows up at work, in friendships, and in marriage
- Living with CPTSD and triggers you cannot always name
- Nervous system co-regulation and why safe people matter more than mindset
- The difference between community and healthy community
- Being abandoned by the justice system as a sexual assault survivor
- Forgiving a parent without pretending it did not hurt
- What Deuteronomy 31:8 means when people have failed you again and again

SCRIPTURE
Deuteronomy 31:8. "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

A GENTLE HEADS UP 
This episode includes honest discussion of child abuse, foster care, sexual assault, suicidal thoughts, and severe anxiety. Please take care of yourself while you listen.

TALK TO US
Email us at [email protected]. If you are trying to find safe people and do not know where to start, reach out. We will help.

Shout out to Brett, our moderator, and the person who has witnessed Kelley's whole life. Say hi to her in the comments.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

You can't fight loneliness while you're lonely. That's where this one starts, and it might be the most honest conversation we've had on Carpool Confessions yet.

We live in the most connected time in history, and somehow we've never felt more alone. In this episode we get real about the loneliness epidemic and what's actually behind it: the surface-level trap of social media, the cruelty people hide behind a screen, and the quiet ache of having people around you but still not feeling seen.

We open up about our own stories too. Kelley shares the online attack that made her feel like the whole world was against her, the isolation of working remote through her mom's passing, and the smear campaign that cost her nearly everyone in her life. Kate gets honest about emotional loneliness inside a marriage where faith isn't shared, and about walking into church alone every Sunday. We also dig into the parts most people skip: how loneliness is as damaging to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, how it literally rewires your brain to expect rejection, and what Scripture says about the fact that you were never meant to do life alone.

And we don't leave you there. We finish with the practical, real-world steps that pulled us out, the same ones you can start today. Because loneliness doesn't have to be your story.

If you're feeling lonely right now, leave a comment that simply says "Pray for me." You don't have to share a single detail. We would be honored to pray for you, and so would this community.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Have you ever prayed for a door to open, only to question whether you belonged once it did?

This week on Carpool Confessions, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie get honest about imposter syndrome: that quiet voice telling you you're not good enough, not qualified, or not ready. From starting a nonprofit with "no business" doing it, to freezing up before a speakers' event, to hearing their own names called from the stage at church, they share the real moments self-doubt has shown up in their lives, and the truth that keeps pulling them back: God doesn't choose the equipped; He equips the chosen.

Whether your self-doubt shows up at work, in your faith, or in that dream you keep putting off, this conversation is your reminder that your failures don't erase your calling. You're allowed to want big things. And when the lies start running through your head, you can replace them with three words: God chose me.

#ImposterSyndrome #CarpoolConfessions #FaithPodcast #ChristianPodcast #SelfDoubt

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Have you ever tied your worth to how hard you work, only to have your body force you to stop? In this episode of Carpool Confessions, Kate and Kelley get real about burnout, the kind that shows up as daily migraines, shingles, panic attacks, and a soul-deep exhaustion that no single vacation can fix.

They open up with their own stories, from working 24-hour shifts at Walmart during a high-risk pregnancy to the neck migraines that disappeared a month into a new job. Along the way they unpack why burnout is a real clinical diagnosis and not just a buzzword, and how hustle culture, people pleasing, and a lack of boundaries quietly set high performers up to crash.

But this conversation is not all heavy. Kate and Kelley dig into what actually helps: recognizing the early warning signs, learning to advocate for yourself, finding work that uses your natural giftings, and building a culture where people get to be human. They share how their current agency changed everything for them, plus small, doable ways any of us can bring more joy and kindness to wherever we work.

📚 Resources mentioned: Essentialism by Greg McKeown and Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.

Video Chapters:
00:00 High Performers Are Wired to Burn Out
00:43 Welcome and a Burnout Confession
03:01 Burnout Is a Clinical Diagnosis, Not Just a Buzzword
05:30 The Body's Check Engine Light: Recognizing the Symptoms
09:26 Overextending Yourself: The Walmart Years
13:13 What Causes Burnout and What Leaders Can Do
20:41 Preventing and Recovering: Essentialism and Self-Advocacy
26:25 Work-Life Balance, False Urgency, and Gratitude
31:01 Knowing Your Worth and Finding the Right Culture
44:53 Bringing Purpose and Joy to Any Job

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

You can love God and still feel too judged, too broken, or too "not good enough" to walk back through the doors of a church. In this episode of Carpool Confessions of the Chronically Aware, Kate and Kelley Marie get honest about church hurt: the fear of being judged that keeps people away, the religious shame they both carried for years, and the moment a man they helped out of homelessness told Kate, "This is the first positive interaction I've ever had with anyone in the church."
 
They dig into why church hurt cuts deeper than any other kind of pain, what recent research says about people walking away from the faith they were raised in, the difference between loving correction and shame, how social media and the algorithm shape what we believe, and how their own community showed up for them in their darkest seasons. If you have been burned by the church and wondered whether it is worth trying again, consider this conversation your sign.
 
If you have ever thought, "I got hurt too badly at church to ever go back," this honest talk about faith, healing, and finding the right community is for you.
 
▶️ New here? Watch these first:
- I trust God, so why am I still anxious?
- How to stop being a people pleaser
 
💛 A note: this episode gently touches on religious hurt, abuse in church settings, and sexual assault. If you have lived through any of this, please know that none of it was your fault and you are not alone. In the US, RAINN's free and confidential hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

For most of my life, I carried a question I couldn't shake. Who was my birth mother, and why did giving me up have to mean disappearing completely? I was adopted as a baby and grew up loved, but loved doesn't erase the wondering. I spent years quietly searching, asking, hoping, and every door God closed.

My birth mother was a ward of the state. She had serious mental health issues. The records were limited, the answers were few, and the silence got louder the older I got. Underneath all of it was the question no adopted person says out loud: what if I become her? What if her story is somehow already in me?

And then one day the searching ended in a way I never saw coming. She passed away. I didn't find out until a week after she was gone. The family I had known my whole life knew she was on hospice and chose not to tell me. That door didn't just close. It locked.

In this episode of Carpool Confessions, I share my adoption story for the first time on the podcast. The identity crisis I didn't have words for as a kid. The yearning to find the woman whose DNA I share. The fear that grew alongside that yearning. The grief of losing someone I never got to meet. And the joy of finding family I wasn't even looking for. 

If you are an adopted person who has ever felt split between two stories, or if you have ever asked God for an answer He kept refusing to give, this one is for you.

What you will hear in this episode:

- What it actually feels like to have an adoption identity crisis
- The fear of inheriting your birth parent's mental illness
- Searching for someone the system makes nearly impossible to find
- Finding out your birth mother is gone, after she is already gone
- How to grieve someone you never met
- What it took to forgive the family who kept the secret
- Why I believe God closed every door for a reason I am still unpacking

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth