In this episode, we get deep into the essentials of leadership in fire services, the pitfalls of current promotion systems, and how to truly prepare for leadership roles. With Mike from Front Seat Academy, we explore how capable firefighters are often unfairly filtered out and how leadership should be about influence, not rank.

00:00 - The danger of lack of leadership versus skills in the firehouse
00:30 - Why many firefighters struggle with leadership roles
01:00 - The pitfalls of current promotional testing focused on memorization
01:50 - How influence, not rank, defines true leadership
03:00 - Early signs of a crew being off and disengaged
04:00 - Impact of poor culture and how it affects performance
05:00 - Why training for promotion often neglects emotional intelligence and leadership
06:00 - The current state of firefighter training and what needs to change
07:00 - The role of mentorship and leadership from probation to advanced ranks
08:00 - How to foster leadership at every level from the firehouse
09:00 - Building confidence and influence through meaningful engagement
10:00 - Practical modifications to firefighter exams and promotion criteria
11:30 - The importance of experience in real leadership settings
12:30 - Encouraging younger firefighters to develop leadership early
13:30 - The false narrative of leadership styles and the importance of authenticity
14:30 - The impact of organizational culture on leadership quality
15:30 - Recognizing and overcoming institutional trauma and complacency
16:30 - Cultivating a culture of adaptability and humility
17:30 - How to navigate the complexities of modern fire service leadership
18:30 - The significance of visibility and presence in leadership roles
19:30 - How to measure true leadership qualities beyond tests and ranks
20:30 - Practical tips for firefighters aspiring to leadership positions
21:30 - The role of spouses and family support in leadership journeys
22:30 - Creating pathways for leadership development beyond traditional training
23:30 - The importance of early engagement and continuous growth
24:30 - How to reframe leadership as service, not authority
25:30 - The future of fire service promotion and leadership: Innovation and integrity
26:30 - Final thoughts from Mike on creating lasting impact

• Front Seat Academy
• Mike Front Seat Academy on Instagram
• Carry On Fire Family on Instagram
• James Kars and Simon Sinek - Finite and Infinite Games

This episode features Jennae Leisey and Bre Spencer from the Thinline Collective, sharing their insights on supporting first responder families, building community, and fostering positivity amidst the challenges of first responder life. They discuss the importance of mental health, family support, and creating supportive networks for first responder spouses.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Thinline Collective and Guests

00:20 The unique challenges faced by first responder families

01:37 Building a community of support and understanding

03:19 Insights on marriage and family life in first responder careers

05:12 The importance of mental health and self-care

07:18 Supporting spouses through difficult times and calls

09:11 The need for community and peer support for wives

11:11 Creating positivity and shared experiences

13:19 Bridging the gap between first responders and their families

15:15 The role of department culture and family inclusion

17:02 Upcoming in-person event and community gathering

19:10 The legacy and impact of supportive family life

21:05 Final thoughts and encouragement for first responder families

Resources

Thinline Collective Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thinline_collective/

Eventbrite - First Responder Spouses Event - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/first-responder-spouses-event-tickets-123456789

guest links

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thinline_collective/

https://www.instagram.com/carryonfirefamily/

CarryonCarrion.com

First responder families, support, community, mental health, fire and police spouses, resilience, positivity, family dynamic, peer support, in-person event

In this interview, Amanda shares her journey as a female firefighter in a male-dominated field, addressing issues like workplace culture, harassment, and the importance of resilience. She discusses her experiences with motherhood, faith, and mental health, offering valuable insights for aspiring firefighters and their families.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Amanda's Background

01:06 Entering the Fire Service as a Woman

02:24 Workplace Culture and Harassment Issues

05:06 Balancing Motherhood and a Firefighting Career

07:50 The Role of Faith and Mental Health

10:36 Dealing with Discrimination and SOPs

12:58 Building Confidence and Personal Strengths

15:53 Support Systems and Family Dynamics

18:23 The Importance of Professionalism and Respect

20:57 Advice for Wives and Families of Firefighters

23:42 Amanda's Legacy and Future Goals

resources

Carry On Fire Family - carryoncarrion.com

Instagram: @carryonfirefamily

Women in Fire Conference - https://www.womeninfireconference.com

Fire Department SOPs - https://www.firedeptguidelines.com

Amanda's Profile - https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-firefighter

guest links

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-firefighter

female firefighter, workplace culture, harassment, resilience, motherhood, faith, mental health, fire department, gender equality, leadership

In this episode of Carry On Fire Family, Nichole ODonnell shares her journey from adversity to becoming a firefighter, author, and motivational figure. She discusses the importance of grit, resilience, social media influence, and building a community that supports growth and change.

Resources

Fire Engineering Books - https://fireengineeringbooks.com

Nichole ODonnell's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thesaltyrookie/

Nichole ODonnell's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thesaltyrookie

Carry On Fire Family's instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/carryonfirefamily/

Key topics

Nichole ODonnell’s journey from adversity to firefighting

The importance of grit, resilience, and discipline

Impact of social media on personal growth and community building

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Purpose

00:14 Nichole’s Background and Early Life

00:22 Dealing with Past Mistakes and Public Apology

00:27 The Meaning of Grit and Proving People Wrong

01:03 Navigating Toxic Political Climate and Personal Growth

01:06 Nichole’s Diverse Life Experiences and Building Resilience

01:15 Rebuilding Identity Through Firefighting and Faith

01:57 Social Media’s Role in Public Image and Redemption

02:37 The Power of Forgiveness and Personal Change

03:40 Reflections on Social Media and Personal Growth

04:27 The Role of Grit in Overcoming Childhood Challenges

05:30 Developing Grit Through Hardship and Fire Service

06:51 Fire Service as a Life-Changing Force

07:21 Running a Critical Call and Its Impact

08:07 Writing 'Diary of a Probie' and Mentorship

08:37 Learning from Criticism and Slowing Down

09:42 Balancing Work and Personal Life

10:46 Dealing with Bets and Expectations in Firefighting

11:37 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Achieving Success

13:12 Handling Negative Comments and Envy

14:47 The Role of Success and Haters

15:53 Firefighter Traits and Adrenaline Activities

16:38 Motorcycle Racing and Adrenaline Pursuits

17:29 Facing Fears and Building Courage

21:12 Firefighting’s Impact on Rebuilding Life

22:11 The Power of Kindness and Impact on Others

23:37 The Importance of Community and Support

24:17 Maintaining Work-Life Balance and Preventing Burnout

29:04 Building a Supportive Community on Social Media

30:42 The Origin of 'Salty Rookie' and Community Building

33:09 Nichole’s Legacy and Future Goals

36:25 Final Thoughts and Advice for Listeners

37:21 Closing Remarks and How to Connect with Nichole

Keywords

firefighter, resilience, social media, motivation, mental health, community, grit, personal growth, leadership, fire service

In this episode of Carry On Fire Family, host Audra sits down with Elise Vermillion, seasoned fire wife and author of The Firewife Guidebook, a guidebook for fire spouses, to unpack the emotional realities of life in a fire family.

From long shifts and missed holidays to the loneliness that no one prepares you for, Elise shares what it really means to love someone in the fire service.

Together, they explore:

• The emotional learning curve of becoming a fire spouse
• Why isolation is more common than people admit
• How to build strong community within fire families
• Practical meal planning systems that actually work with shift life
• Coping strategies for loneliness and unpredictability
• The importance of regular “State of the Union” relationship check-ins
• How to strengthen communication when schedules don’t align

This conversation is honest, validating, and deeply practical offering support for fire wives, fire spouses, and anyone navigating the unique dynamics of first responder family life.

If you’ve ever felt alone in this lifestyle, this episode reminds you: you’re not.

To order a copy of Elise's ebook The Firewife Guidebook CLICK HERE

Follow Audra on Instagram @carryonfirefamily

Follow Elise on Instagram @thefirewifeguide

Keywords

fire family, fire wife, support, community, emotional learning curve, meal planning, reintegration, coping strategies, motherhood, guidebook

In this episode of Carry On Fire Family, Audra talks with financial planner Christina Cooley-Ber about financial planning for first responders, including pensions, retirement planning, and how couples can get on the same page financially.

We cover:

• Retirement planning for first responders
• Understanding pension options
• The emotional side of money decisions
• Small steps that build real financial confidence
• Why community and legacy matter more than numbers

Whether you’re a firefighter, police officer, EMT, or part of a first responder family, this episode will help you feel more informed, less stressed, and more confident about your financial future.

Follow @carryonfirefamily on instagram

carryoncarrion.com

For more details on Inner Gold Taxes click here: https://innergoldtaxes.com/

Books mentioned:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/soulful-simplicity-courtney-carver/1126091518

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Financial Clarity

04:40 Navigating Retirement Planning

10:36 The Importance of Communication in Finances

16:17 Understanding Pension Choices

22:05 Taking Small Steps Towards Financial Confidence

27:38 Building Community and Legacy

Financial Planning Retirement Readiness Tax Services InnerGold Taxes Courtney Carver Soulful Simplicity First Responder Families Financial Clarity Life Insurance

Community Support Firefighter Spouses Long-term Investments Financial Empowerment Enrolled Agent

Tax Strategy

Season 2 starts NOW!

In this powerful and deeply moving episode, I’m joined by Rachael Heard, the widow of Captain Kyle Heard of the Rancho Adobe Fire Protection District. Rachael shares her story of losing Kyle suddenly to a heart attack at just 43, and the unimaginable grief that followed. She opens up about raising their two children without their father, navigating a new identity after loss, and the weight of continuing on when life changes in an instant.

We also talk about the overwhelming support from the fire service community and Kyle’s passion for firefighter health and wellness a mission that feels even more urgent in the wake of his passing. This episode is an honest conversation about love, loss, resilience, and the importance of prioritizing health in the fire service. Rachael’s strength and dedication to honoring Kyle’s legacy make this a must-listen for first responders, their families, and anyone touched by grief.

For more information about The 6 Foundation and Clinic visit their website: https://www.the6.us/ or instagram @the6clinic

For more about Audra visit carryoncarrion.com and for more fire family content follow her on IG @carryonfirefamily

Takeaways

Grief doesn't get easier; it evolves over time.

Community support is crucial during times of loss.

Health and wellness should be prioritized in the fire service.

It's important to advocate for mental health in first responders.

Creating a legacy involves turning grief into action.

Keywords

grief, fire service, health and wellness, first responder families, community support, widowhood, mental health, legacy, heart attack, fire department

Firefighter cancer is real and so is the impact it leaves behind. In this episode, I’m joined by Caylie Valenta, widow of firefighter Andy Valenta, who lost his life to melanoma. Caylie shares her journey through grief, motherhood, and advocacy, and how honoring Andy’s legacy led to the creation of the Andy Valenta Melanoma Foundation. We talk about early detection, firefighter cancer risks, and the power of community support when life changes forever. This episode is about loss but also about hope, purpose, and protecting our fire families.

Follow @carryonfirefamily and @avfoundation on instagram for more.

Takeaways

Caylie Valenta is a widow of firefighter Andy Valenta, who died from melanoma.

She co-founded the Andy Valenta Melanoma Foundation to provide cancer screenings for firefighters.

Caylie emphasizes the importance of early detection of skin cancer.

The foundation has screened over 2,300 firefighters and saved lives through early detection.

Caylie's journey highlights the challenges of being a solo parent after losing a spouse.

She advocates for better cancer screening practices in fire departments.

Caylie's story serves as a powerful reminder of the risks firefighters face.

The support from the fire department has been crucial for Caylie and her daughters.

Caylie hopes to leave a legacy of strength and resilience for her children.

She encourages open conversations about death and preparation for families in high-risk professions.

Chapters:

00:00 The Journey of Loss and Resilience

08:54 The Foundation's Mission and Impact

18:09 Legacy and Support for Families

25:02 Navigating Grief and Moving Forward

Keywords

firefighter, cancer screening, melanoma, widow, resilience, foundation, legacy, support, grief, health

In this episode, I reflect on my very first season of solo podcasting and everything that came with it. Juggling family life, emotional bandwidth, and showing up consistently even when life felt heavy. I share what this season taught me about myself, my marriage, and the patterns I didn’t realize I was carrying for years.

I open up about how hyper-independence showed up in my relationship, how our marriage evolved over time, and the realities of being married to a firefighter; the long stretches of holding it all together alone, the unspoken expectations, and the emotional weight that comes with loving someone in this career.

I talk about vulnerability, communication, and what growth really looks like when you’re navigating a first responder marriage. I also touch on the anticipatory anxiety and quiet grief that so many fire spouses live with but rarely say out loud.

This episode is part reflection, part release, and part thank-you to everyone who has listened, supported, and shared this space with me. I’m deeply grateful for this community and excited for what’s next in the podcast and the conversations still to come. 🔥🤍

Follow me on instagram @carryonfirefamily or subscribe to my website carryoncarrion.com and get a freebie meal plan download!

• I've had the worst imposter syndrome.
• Marriage looks different every five years.
• Hyper-independence is a defense mechanism.
• Fire spouses often become the default parent.
• Anticipatory anxiety is common among fire spouses.
• Vulnerability is key in relationships.
• Communication is essential for growth.
• Balancing podcasting and family life is challenging.
• Gratitude for support and community.
• Excitement for future podcasting endeavors.

solo podcasting, fire family life, hyper-independence, marriage evolution, anticipatory anxiety, fire spouses, vulnerability, communication, personal growth, podcasting challenges

Co-parenting is hard enough, but co-parenting with a firefighter, especially after a divorce, comes with a whole different set of challenges. As a firewife of 18 years, I’ve lived the reality of shift work, emotional exhaustion, missed holidays, and the pressure that comes with raising kids in a first responder home and I've seen and experienced when it can all fall apart and you feel like there's nothing left to salvage.

In this episode, I sit down with licensed marriage and family therapist Talia Bombola to talk openly about what firefighter families actually go through. We break down:
✔️ How 24/48 or 48/96 schedules impact parenting
✔️ Navigating co-parenting after divorce in a first responder family
✔️ Managing blended families and step-parent roles
✔️ Reducing power struggles and improving communication
✔️ How to validate your kids’ emotions when life feels unstable
✔️ Supporting children of first responders through stress and transitions

Whether you’re married to a firefighter, going through a divorce (maybe you've considered or are currently considering it), or trying to rebuild a healthier co-parenting relationship, this conversation offers real insight, practical tools, and heartfelt encouragement.

If you’re looking for support, validation, or a reminder that you’re not alone in this lifestyle this episode is for you.

Follow me for more fire family content and subscribe to my website for a free 5 day meal plan download. carryoncarrion.com Or for daily laughs and tips on instagram @carryonfirefamily

Check out Thalia's website www.therapywithtalia.com if you are considering divorce, already divorced and need help with your co parenting plan, or you just need to talk to someone. She's in CA for in person and zoom sessions. You can also find her on instagram @taliabombola

Takeaways

Co-parenting in first responder families is complex due to unpredictable schedules.

Stepparents should be integrated thoughtfully into the co-parenting dynamic.

Resentment often arises from the unequal distribution of responsibilities post-divorce.

Effective communication is crucial for successful co-parenting arrangements.

Consistency in routines helps children adjust between two households.

Children's emotions should be validated without bashing the other parent.

Maintaining a connection with first responder parents is essential for children.

Power struggles can be minimized through clear communication and agreements.

Understanding the unique stressors of co-parenting can help manage expectations.

Seeking therapy can provide support and guidance during co-parenting transitions.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Dynamics

03:00 Challenges of Co-Parenting in First Responder Families

06:10 Navigating Stepparent Relationships

08:57 Dealing with Resentment and Emotional Struggles

12:05 Communication Tools for Effective Co-Parenting

14:57 Building Consistency Between Homes

17:57 Validating Children's Emotions

21:04 Maintaining Connection with First Responder Parents

23:58 Avoiding Power Struggles in Co-Parenting

27:00 Understanding the Stressors of Co-Parenting

29:46 Final Thoughts and Resources

Keywords

co-parenting, first responder families, emotional struggles, communication tools, children's emotions, consistency, power struggles, resentment, family dynamics, therapy