This week in Crazy, we are not saying things have gone off the rails, but the rails have definitely filed a missing‑persons report. We kick things off with Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth declaring a “historic and overwhelming victory” over Iran—while also announcing that U.S. forces are staying put and ready to “start at a moment’s notice.” Because nothing says “victory” like refusing to leave the party.

Meanwhile, Iran says the two‑week ceasefire is already being violated, federal agencies are warning that Iran‑linked hackers are poking around U.S. water, energy, and government systems like they’re trying to win a prize at a carnival booth, and some intrusions have already caused real‑world disruptions and losses.

Then Trump jumps in threatening 50% tariffs on any country supplying weapons to Iran, and we’re over here wondering if he plans to send that memo to Russia by email, carrier pigeon, or interpretive dance.

Former Attorney General Pam Pam Bondi decided she simply will not sit for her scheduled deposition, and Democrats are threatening contempt if she keeps playing “you can’t make me.” Democrats across the country continue to overperform in elections, even in places where seats didn’t flip, and more than 50 House Democrats plus at least two Democratic senators have called for Trump’s removal through impeachment or the 25th Amendment after he threatened to destroy “an entire civilization.”

Automatic registration for the U.S. military draft is set to begin in December, which is… a choice. And 44% of Gen Z workers admit to sabotaging company AI rollouts, which honestly feels like the most Gen Z plot twist imaginable.

And finally—our own Lisa Janairo is now the Mayor‑Elect of Middleton, Wisconsin! We are celebrating, we are proud, and we are absolutely seriously considering moving there!!!

Buckle up. Hydrate. Stretch. It’s The Final World, and we’re diving into the deep end of the absurd again.

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