Bereavement and how to learn coping skills: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”
Let us begin with a short description about loss and what it means in context. When we undergo grief, we are confronting a natural emotional response to the loss of someone close, such as a family member, friend, partner, animal or a job. Grief can also occur after a serious illness, a divorce or other significant losses. Grief often involves intense sadness, and sometimes feelings of shock, numbness or even denial and anger.
There are proven cases when a long term partner has died that the other dies soon afterwards from a broken heart. This phenomenon also takes place in the animal kingdom. Some of you might have heard about a canary parter who mourns her or his mate and suddenly dies a few days later.
Although losing someone close is a highly personal life event, most of us tend to share the same range of emotions and reactions. Realising that these feelings are normal can help you get through such a difficult time. Below you will find four of the more common emotional effects of bereavement.
Of course, every one of us is different, and so, the way we cope with grief will differ greatly. The important thing to remember is that the feeling won’t last forever. Over time, you will come to understand these feelings and know what you need to do to manage them.
I will start off with the stages of grief and then go into them in more detail later on in my podcast.
But it is important to know what is happening to you on the spiritual, mental, and physical levels in ordert to cope with your emotions which can sometimes get in the way of rational thinking if you are alone and have nobody as a support system.
What Are the Stages of Grief?
Your feelings may happen in phases as you come to terms with your loss. You can’t control the process, but it’s helpful to know the reasons behind your feelings. All people experience grief differently. Though it it no longer considered the ideal way to think about grief, you may have heard of the stages of grief:
• Denial: When you first learn of a loss, it’s normal to think, “This isn’t happening.” You may feel shocked or numb. This is a temporary way to deal with the rush of overwhelming emotion. It’s a defense mechanism.
• Anger: As reality sets in, you’re faced with the pain of your loss. You may feel frustrated and helpless. These feelings later turn into anger. You might direct it toward other people, a higher power, or life in general. To be angry with a loved one who died and left you alone is natural, too.
• Bargaining: During this stage, you dwell on what you could’ve done to prevent the loss. Common thoughts are “If only…” and “What if…” You may also try to strike a deal with a higher power.
• Depression: This is a sadness which sets in as you begin to understand the loss and its effect on your life. Signs of depression will include crying, sleep disturbances, and a decreased appetite. You may feel overwhelmed, regretful, and lonely.
• Acceptance: In this final stage of grief, you accept the reality of your loss. It can’t be changed. Although you still feel sad, you’re able to start moving forward with your life.
