Ken's microphone has perished after seven years of valiant service. In memoriam (and while we await shipment of a replacement) please enjoy this episode from our Varney vaults, wherein our dear friend O F Cieri returns for a chilling chapter of cracking coffins.

Varney the Vampire is a genuine penny dreadful, read aloud one chapter per week just like the original Victorian working class audience would do for the authentic 1840s Chartist coffeehouse experience.

To instantly unlock over a hundred more chapters (literally), check out our Patreon.