In which I deliver my commence address of 2026 which is very reminiscent of 2016. Also if you've never read "Advice, like youth probably just wasted on the young" by Mary Schmich: You should. That's good advice. 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 06/06/26 and 06/04/16 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which I get the recipe for bread baked from a mummy's guts and we all survive a bad recording of my last CLASS! where I discuss the Legend of the Legend of Zelda. Whew, if variety is the spice of life then this one's HOT! 

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 06/06/26 and from CLASS! at The Lincoln Lodge  05/21/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which we say auf wiedersehen to a beer that's not just a legend, not just a king: it's the Schlitz. 

BILL YOUR LARKIN! 

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Featuring the legendary Bill Larkin on vocals and keys. Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 05/23/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas, a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected]  "In Heaven There Is No Beer" by Ralph Maria Siegel and Ernst Neubach for Die Fischerin vom Bodensee (1956) English lyrics by Art Walunas "You'll Never Walk Alone" by Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein II (1945)

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which we go every which Waymo but loose! But it's not quite at maximum overdrive. 

GO TO PROM! 

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 5/16/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which I report my findings on the nexus of human space and jam technology. 

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

FOLLOW ME

Recorded LIVE March 19th 2026 from CLASS! at The Lincoln Lodge in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas, a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which I don't talk about Star Wars but instead discuss the Grimace. 

Follow Zachary Kern 

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 5/02/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which I show my love of writing Birdetective Avian Noir True Crime about Lego and pasta. Yes, I know the plural of Lego is "Lego" but it doesn't SOUND RIGHT when you're a detective like me. 

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 4/25/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which I unpack the latest bio fashion: T-Rex Purses. And you wonder why I celebrate 4/20 for a whole week, humans. 

TAKE A DAZE OFF

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 4/18/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which I play catch up after a glorious Four Twentius with two reports, one stoned bird. 

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Recorded LIVE at Paper Machete at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 4/4/26 and 4/11/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas, a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] and "The Galaxy Song" by Eric Idle and John Du Prez CBS / MCA 1983 performed by Chad the Bird and Bill Larkin 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In which I celebrate the Week of 4/20 blazing budz with my bud Scoochie Boochie: the greatest rapper ever born from a volcano. Spark em and don't lose your lighter. 

TAKE A DAZE OFF

FIND THE SCOOCHIE BOOCHIE

GET TO CLASS! 

BUY SOME STUFF 

Recorded LIVE at The Nest 4/14/26 in Chicago courtesy of WKQX (Q101.1 FM) and Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse 

Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord, be gay, do drugs, flock ice. 

Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas, a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bugden Twitter: Instagram For commissions/scores: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.